Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLdaileygirl

Search for a member

FMLdaileygirl
  • Town/Country : Arkansas, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 23 September 1995 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 692
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About FMLdaileygirl : I'm a Twilight and Harry Potter freak. I love to edit stuff in photoshop and write stories. School sucks so I'm happy to be out of it for a while. I'm moving for the third time in my life and leaving all my best friends I've made in three years.

FMLdaileygirl's last visitors

wtfismyfmlishhBuMbLeBeE_46

FMLdaileygirl's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

FMLdaileygirl's favorite FMLs

Today, I got stuck in an elevator for 45 minutes. I am an elevator mechanic. FML

#5163293
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34970) - you deserved it (5937)

On 09/10/2009 at 2:02am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I got out of bed and went to the bathroom. At least, I thought I did, until I woke up to my pants, sheets, and boyfriend all soaking wet. FML

#5162946
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35101) - you deserved it (7106)

On 09/10/2009 at 1:32am - misc - by Embarassed (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I hired a private investigator to find out if my wife of 15 years is cheating on me with my brother. I don't know what's worse, that she is cheating on me, or that instead of cheating with my brother she's cheating with my brother's wife. FML

#5151842
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51892) - you deserved it (4745)

On 09/09/2009 at 5:20pm - love - by nick2.0 (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I woke up to my 8 month old son happy as can be. I could hear him laughing over the monitor. When I walked into the room, he had somehow got his diaper off and was holding onto his new found penis. He thought it was hysterical when it went off and shot urine everywhere. FML

#5149923
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33282) - you deserved it (3513)

On 09/09/2009 at 3:33pm - kids - by WOCOACH (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I tried to wash my cat in the shower, conveniently naked myself. He disapproved, scratching my man-parts and nicking a vein. I just got back from the hospital with a blood infection, swollen nuts, and an hole in my butt where I had to get a shot of antibiotics. FML

#5021908
268 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14340) - you deserved it (63260)

On 09/03/2009 at 3:55pm - health - by keeperstride (man) - United States (California)

Today, my college roommate whom I've never met moved in. Good thing I wasn't completely naked, playing with myself on the couch when he walked in. That would've been awkward. FML

#4983449
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8500) - you deserved it (34824)

On 09/01/2009 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by mrboston (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that I was adopted, now my gay brother thinks it's acceptable to tell me that he's always wanted to have sex with me. FML

#4488799
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (94211) - you deserved it (4543)

On 08/12/2009 at 11:13pm - intimacy - by JPF (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found out that I was adopted, now my gay brother thinks it's acceptable to tell me that he's always wanted to have sex with me. FML

#4488799
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (94211) - you deserved it (4543)

On 08/12/2009 at 11:13pm - intimacy - by JPF (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found out that I was adopted, now my gay brother thinks it's acceptable to tell me that he's always wanted to have sex with me. FML

#4488799
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (94211) - you deserved it (4543)

On 08/12/2009 at 11:13pm - intimacy - by JPF (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found out that doctors can be wrong. Pink clothes, pink stroller, pink bottles, pink bibs, pink cribs and pink bedding to go with my baby that recently came out with a little pink penis. FML

#4483118
420 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50573) - you deserved it (19029)

On 08/12/2009 at 7:36pm - kids - by Ouch (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my mom drove me to football practice. On the way she told me that she thought I was gay and that my friend was my lover. After 15 agonizing minutes of this, we get to my practice only to be greeted by my shirtless friend wearing a pink bandana saying "Man, you hit me hard last night." FML

#4421825
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69245) - you deserved it (5945)

On 08/10/2009 at 3:10am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I saw my girlfriend going into my best friend's dorm room and suspected her to cheat on me so I placed a camera in his room to spy on them. In the end, I discovered that my girlfriend has problems in math and both my best friend and brother are gay. FML

#4379475
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14972) - you deserved it (69927)

On 08/08/2009 at 3:18am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. After what seemed like an eternity of waiting, he finally entered me, then paused and asked me, "what do I do now?" FML

#718937
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (124114) - you deserved it (13812)

On 03/31/2009 at 1:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my parents were out so I invited my girlfriend over. It was the afternoon, and things started to heat up. We were having sex, and I was about to finish. Then I looked through the window, to see a construction worker (who was fixing the house next to mine) giving me a thumbs up. He's her dad. FML

#527563
359 comments

I agree, your life sucks (161289) - you deserved it (27727)

On 03/22/2009 at 9:04am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Malta



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: