FMLbutYDI

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FMLbutYDI

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2501
  • Number of comments : 71
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About FMLbutYDI : I love FML. It's what I do when I'm bored.

FMLbutYDI's page activity

Visits<b>LadyIrene</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 9:03am<b>lobsterdude</b> - the 10/29/2015 at 4:01pm<b>big_sam1991</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 7:08am<b>mhterp90</b> - the 05/31/2015 at 12:15pm<b>paintedchocolate</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 10:05am<b>RawrPancaked</b> - the 01/06/2015 at 3:10pm<b>trisc97</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 10:00am<b>Ian_from_0070</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 7:11pm<b>aaalllaaa</b> - the 06/12/2014 at 2:07am<b>hotbutthurttoast</b> - the 06/04/2014 at 11:22pm<b>megwithcat</b> - the 06/04/2014 at 9:55pm<b>lalalexie88</b> - the 01/20/2014 at 3:01am<b>greenmonkey1234</b> - the 01/08/2014 at 1:40pm<b>nerdtron430</b> - the 12/22/2013 at 12:58pm<b>procrastinate12</b> - the 11/28/2013 at 12:06pm<b>Jaaared_</b> - the 11/23/2013 at 5:20pm<b>MandyCat484</b> - the 11/14/2013 at 1:40pm<b>tigerfish</b> - the 11/10/2013 at 3:29pm

FMLbutYDI's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of FMLbutYDI's badges

FMLbutYDI's favorite FMLs

Today, my 17-year-old son came home with a black eye saying he ran into a pole at school. I asked the principal if we could see the tapes. He actually did run straight into a pole. And not just once, twice. FML

by ggabrams / 08/17/2013 at 8:55am / United States (Hawaii) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was reading in my apartment. Due to a heatwave and my lack of AC, I was completely naked. My cat jumped onto my lap, and as her claws dug into my stomach, I recoiled. This caused her to retreat, clawing at my nether regions in the process. My pussy mauled my pussy. FML

by Anonymous / 07/29/2013 at 5:18pm / United States / Animals

Today, I was getting freaky with my boyfriend and told him to spank me. In a seductive voice, he told me not to tell him what to do. Continuing, I asked him how he was going to punish me, to which he then replied, "I'm going to punch you straight in the face." FML

by suckstosuck / 07/23/2013 at 12:04am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I asked this really cute girl for her number. I had nothing else on me so I told her to write it on a dollar bill. Later, without thinking, I put it in a vending machine. I freaked out and frantically pushed the return button. It gave me back quarters. FML

by gavinbanks / 07/21/2013 at 6:55pm / United States (Oregon) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, the great deal on my new apartment has turned into a nightmare. I keep hearing extremely weird sounds almost every night, and when I tried taking pics of the place today, my camera's face recognition feature kept activating, but only in my bedroom. I'm scared shitless. FML

by notenoughunderwearintheworld / 07/21/2013 at 4:54pm / South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal) / Transportation

Today, I had to pull one of those toy stretchy hands out of my dog's butthole. It slapped me in the face when I finally got it out. FML

by anonymous / 07/17/2013 at 12:48am / United States (Texas) / Animals

Today, I got a message from my brother on Facebook that read, "They're watching you." This wouldn't have been such a big deal if he hadn't been dead for two years. FML

by Wtf / 07/10/2013 at 1:24am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up from an extremely intense and pleasurable wet dream. This wouldn't have been bad, had it not been about Velveeta cheese. FML

by idk ask freud / 07/04/2013 at 12:11am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, I had to remove a glass bottle, complete with an ineffective pullstring, from a patient's rectum. He claimed that he'd accidentally sat on it, and later threatened to sue me for every penny if I breathed a word of it to anyone. Oops, looks like I just did. FML

by DocKreso / 06/28/2013 at 5:59pm / Croatia (Splitsko-Dalmatinska) / Work

Today, while life-guarding in a 55+ community, I greeted a man by saying: "Good morning Sir!" He responded with, "Cut the shit kid, I'm not that fucking old." FML

by Anonymous / 06/25/2013 at 5:45pm / United States (New Jersey) / Work

Today, my husband finally returned from his 18-month deployment. Sexually starved, we wasted no time getting busy. Later as we finally cooled off, I got a message from my Aunt. She was hiding in our closet the whole time to surprise us with cake for his safe return. FML

by jgtrflynn / 06/24/2013 at 12:37am / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy

Today, at the supermarket, a guy started yelling at me for staring at his "woman." She frankly looked like someone had carved Mick Jagger's face into a turd. When I told him I have better things to do than ogle random women, he started harassing me for being "a queer." FML

by moreliketurdmart / 06/03/2013 at 12:48pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I uttered the phrase "the pot calling the kettle black" in class. Moments later, I'd been called a "racist twerp" and kicked out of class by the same English teacher who once tried to have another kid suspended for using the word "titillate", because apparently it's "pornographic". FML

by Anonymous / 05/30/2013 at 11:20am / United Kingdom (Northamptonshire) / Love

Today, I did my small part to help the environment by hanging my clothes outside to dry rather than using the dryer. The birds showed their appreciation by crapping on the majority of my clothes. FML

by hitchcock2013 / 05/07/2013 at 1:10pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals

Today, I tried channeling Mr. Miyagi by catching a fly with my bare hands. It turned out to be a wasp. FML

by FML136969 / 05/05/2013 at 7:30pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous