FMLandurstoo

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Offline (the 04/05/2015 at 8:07am)

FMLandurstoo

7Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 12 August 1996 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 13704
  • Number of comments : 244
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About FMLandurstoo : I'm Mitchell and I'm a senior in high school and FML is one of my favorite things to do in my spare time. My favorite Family guy character is Herbert. Just to make it clear, I am straight. I miss the old days of FML with every1luvsboners and DocBastard (even though he's still here).

FMLandurstoo's page activity

Visits<b>cuz803</b> - the 10/19/2016 at 11:13am<b>Wolfo06</b> - the 09/01/2016 at 10:19am<b>rajnidevraj1996</b> - the 08/31/2016 at 8:32am<b>Sia_Will</b> - the 08/24/2016 at 8:39pm<b>necklacethief</b> - the 08/17/2016 at 11:51pm<b>masterfap</b> - the 08/17/2016 at 7:06am<b>annoyedperson</b> - the 08/04/2016 at 1:42pm<b>paigexox0</b> - the 08/04/2016 at 4:53am<b>jasonrellet</b> - the 07/04/2016 at 3:45am<b>OkWhatNow</b> - the 06/19/2016 at 7:42pm<b>Diarrhea_Volcano</b> - the 05/14/2016 at 2:28am<b>Kidd_Ant</b> - the 03/03/2016 at 5:13pm<b>TheGamingGamer</b> - the 02/17/2016 at 10:53pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 01/17/2016 at 8:27am<b>thefaekitten</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 10:27pm<b>Vintage_Cola</b> - the 12/15/2015 at 10:19am<b>koalasforlyfe</b> - the 12/09/2015 at 11:20pm<b>_MintyFresh</b> - the 11/21/2015 at 8:36pm

Fucked!<b>cuz803</b> - the 10/19/2016 at 5:13pm<b>Diarrhea_Volcano</b> - the 05/14/2016 at 8:29am<b>TheGamingGamer</b> - the 02/18/2016 at 4:53am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 01/17/2016 at 2:28pm<b>sarcasm_insanity</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 5:17am<b>Smennant</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 6:45pm<b>cj89898</b> - the 01/17/2015 at 2:26am

FMLandurstoo's FML badges

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FMLandurstoo's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom called me from jail. She was arrested for having sex in public. I was with my dad when I got the call. FML

by Monkey / 10/27/2012 at 11:02am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my 14-year-old step-daughter announced that she is 4 months pregnant. The father is my 15-year-old son. FML

by wdunn69733 / 10/11/2012 at 10:30am / United States (Georgia) / Kids

Today, I unintentionally moaned during my prostate exam. FML

by Anonymous / 09/28/2012 at 2:06pm / Netherlands (Gelderland) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up feeling ecstatic, because last night, my crush had told my best friend he likes me a lot. I sent him a text message telling him the feeling is mutual. A little while after sending it, it hit me that his confession had only been part of a dream. FML

by hannah / 09/15/2012 at 6:16pm / New Zealand (Marlborough) / Love

Today, I was walking to school with my earphones in, when someone tapped me on the shoulder. I was shocked, and whirled around to hit him in the crotch. I soon realized he was just trying to return the commuter pass I'd dropped at the station. FML

by Anonymous / 09/15/2012 at 2:34pm / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, my father bet me $200 that since my boyfriend is "such a stupid shit," he wouldn't be able to locate Paraguay on a map. I gladly accepted the bet. Not only did he not know where it is, he actually accused us of making the country up. FML

by dating a fucking idiot / 09/08/2012 at 3:16pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized how much I hate my girlfriend, when I got excited as the doctor told me I should refrain from having sex for the next two months. FML

by Anonymous / 08/22/2012 at 4:08pm / United States / Love

Today, I walked into the restroom at work, only to find my boss stroking and playing with himself. I have my annual performance assessment with him in an hour. FML

by Anonymous / 08/21/2012 at 1:39pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, after his second week of babysitting, my boyfriend has begun the disturbing habit of saying, "Ready or not, here I come!" every time he's about to orgasm. He doesn't see why this doesn't appeal to me. FML

by majorlyturnedoff / 08/20/2012 at 11:02pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I had to finally accept that my husband is too large for me. Normally, it'd be a bragging point, except my private parts can't handle it. After several infections brought on after vaginal tearing, I'm having to choose between being in perpetual pain, or giving up my sex life. FML

by sal / 08/18/2012 at 10:48pm / United States (Idaho) / Intimacy

Today, I finally finished my summer assignments for three AP classes. My schedule also arrived. Turns out my school can't place me in any of them, and I just wasted the last four weeks of my summer. FML

by spandexwiener / 08/18/2012 at 12:27pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, as I was riding my bike, my foot slipped and I did a slow speed-tumble over the top, ripping my balls wide open. Number of stitches: too many to count. Size of balls: softball. Color: blue. FML

by Anonymous / 08/18/2012 at 1:15am / United States / Health

Today, I bought the only cat on Earth that doesn't like chasing after a laser dot. Goodbye, hours of sick, sick entertainment. FML

by lonelygirl / 08/17/2012 at 7:33pm / United States (Utah) / Animals

Today, I was doing my laundry and I saw a dollar bill at the bottom of the washer. I excitedly dove in to retrieve the money, and promptly hit and broke my nose on the washer. FML

by Megan / 08/17/2012 at 3:30am / United States (Arkansas) / Money

Today, while I was taking my driver's test, my instructor received a text message. He promptly had a panic attack and screamed for me to pull over. It turned out his wife wanted a divorce. The last 15 minutes of my test consisted of him sobbing to himself as I drove back to the DMV. FML

by Samantha / 08/16/2012 at 6:36pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous