Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLandFYL2_xoxo

Offline (the 01/18/2015 at 4:45pm) | Search for a member

FMLandFYL2_xoxo

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2552
  • Number of comments : 24
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About FMLandFYL2_xoxo : 17, Canadian and loves frozen yogurt.

I'll leave you with a quote:
"A tiger doesn't lose sleep over the opinion of sheep."

FMLandFYL2_xoxo's page activity

Visits<b>DoomSkuller</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 2:10am<b>sh4rpestl1ves</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 8:26pm<b>ckeekymontag</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 6:38pm<b>Scorpio1691</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 1:10pm<b>moneymuffen</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 11:48am<b>delfino1604</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 11:05am<b>CoolFootSnook</b> - the 02/18/2015 at 3:26pm<b>awesomepantTamia</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 8:31pm<b>MrFloooo</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 10:40am<b>justinnorris21</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 3:53pm<b>reezy1978</b> - the 01/15/2015 at 9:44pm<b>Zach_attack_</b> - the 12/28/2014 at 10:13pm<b>sexipapi25</b> - the 12/26/2014 at 2:23pm<b>failalltheway</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 10:07pm<b>waitwhatsgoingon</b> - the 11/28/2014 at 2:04am<b>ShroudedKnife</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 12:47am<b>r70093</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 1:26pm<b>1nfinitee</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 7:42pm

FMLandFYL2_xoxo's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of FMLandFYL2_xoxo's badges

FMLandFYL2_xoxo's favorite FMLs

Today, I accidentally said the wrong name during sex. That name just happened to be "Sarah", which is both my ex-girlfriend's name and my wife's sister's name. When she asked me which one I meant, I panicked and said, "Both." FML

#21140956
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35869) - you deserved it (56505)

On 05/15/2014 at 6:57pm - intimacy - by FLIPmcCOOL - Ireland (Cork)

Today, I got a new cell phone number and sent a text to my wife. Playing around, I said, "Hey sexy are you alone yet? I'm ready to come over." She responded with, "Hey, yeah he is at work - did you get a new number?" FML

#20941049
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (91425) - you deserved it (6632)

On 11/01/2013 at 3:01am - intimacy - by PapaW - United States (Utah)

Today, my mom let me stay home from school, because I was sick. We both agreed not to tell my dad, since he's adamant that I never miss even one day of school. A few hours after my mom left for work, he came back home, with another woman. FML

#20925128
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68900) - you deserved it (3216)

On 10/18/2013 at 12:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, I was playing World of Warcraft, when all of a sudden, I remembered I was supposed to be at a wedding. I was 25 minutes late to my own wedding. FML

#20880446
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22325) - you deserved it (89879)

On 09/14/2013 at 1:23am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I got a call from my son's kindergarten teacher. Apparently my son asked a girl to marry him. After she said no, he stabbed her with a fork. FML

#20829995
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59589) - you deserved it (5452)

On 08/10/2013 at 12:02am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, one of my cats gave birth. My other cat responded by eating the new litter in a jealous rage, then got indigestion and vomited. I had to clean up regurgitated kittens. FML

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me at his parents' house. I was overjoyed. His mom hugged me with tears in her eyes. His father, who never really spoke before, hugged me a few hours later when we were alone, his hands traveling to my ass and whispering, "I can change your mind." FML

#20788139
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69604) - you deserved it (4087)

On 07/17/2013 at 10:20am - misc - by ilivehere (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I foolishly thought that I was alone in the house, and let out a huge fart on the toilet. This went on for a while due to an upset stomach. I later walked into the living room only to find my parents and a few of their friends sitting on the couch, teary-eyed from laughing so much. FML

Today, I found out my work gave me a vacation for my performance. It's a trip to somewhere in the Caribbean, with the nickname "The Sunniest Place on Earth." I have skin cancer. FML

#20706766
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51205) - you deserved it (3752)

On 06/05/2013 at 12:22am - health - by TooSunnyForSkin - United States (Indiana)

Today, while sexting my girlfriend, I accidently sent a picture to her father instead of her. He sent back a link to a penis enlargement company's website. FML

#20705129
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30910) - you deserved it (65870)

On 06/04/2013 at 8:15am - misc - by tinypenis - United States (New York)

Today, I confessed to my girlfriend that I cheated on her. She told me that she needed time to think, and left. An hour later, her dad came by with a baseball bat. FML

#20691094
356 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26496) - you deserved it (133782)

On 05/28/2013 at 12:51pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was stuck home with a cold when my boyfriend's best friend sent me a text saying, "You doing alright?" I replied, thinking he was talking about my health. He replied, "I'm surprised you're taking the breakup so well." What breakup? Mine. He was ten minutes too soon. FML

#20690777
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55856) - you deserved it (3167)

On 05/28/2013 at 4:09am - love - by really? (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my grandma's chihuahua was run over while I was taking her for a walk. She later whispered to me, "It should have been you." FML

#20690610
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58701) - you deserved it (7581)

On 05/28/2013 at 1:05am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was making tea when I smelled something burning. My very fluffy cat had put his tail right next to the open flame and burnt his fur. Now I have a semi-hairless cat and a very smelly apartment. FML

#20647478
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42339) - you deserved it (7001)

On 05/07/2013 at 10:18am - animals - by AussieG75 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out that my wife is having an affair with the same guy my ex-wife left me for. FML

#20645479
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (92792) - you deserved it (5836)

On 05/06/2013 at 2:13pm - love - by Anonymous - Ireland (Donegal)



FML's blog

  • Tania's illustrated FML
  • Hi gang! How are you all doing? This week has been quite eventful for some people. Uber has been causing taxi drivers here and there to get their knickers in a twist, notable over here in France, which caused…

Friday 26 June 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: