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FMLMaximus

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FMLMaximus

22Fucked!

FMLMaximus
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 24 September 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3379
  • Number of comments : 36
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 18 posted

About FMLMaximus : Mother, gamer, reader, love being outside with the earth. Only here to read FMLs but I enjoy meeting new people as well. I have been an avid reader of FMLs since I was in high school. I have yet to get one posted but I'm optimistic about it. :P

FMLMaximus's page activity

Visits<b>michaelm1290</b> - 18 minutes ago<b>AirBusDriver</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 7:48am<b>whatsittoyabuddy</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 9:58am<b>Charles900</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 8:47am<b>JavitheWrestler</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 7:34pm<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 3:10pm<b>MartinDJ</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 1:15am<b>MidgeAlot</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 7:27pm<b>AbsalomDeadface</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 2:10am<b>lex1459</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 4:57am<b>tchatfield9413</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 11:17am<b>wakemeupplease</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 4:44pm<b>the_aspect</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 8:31am<b>Markovski</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 10:57pm<b>dakatabg</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 10:35pm<b>NodakN8V</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 8:39pm<b>ForbbidenSky</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 12:50am<b>Teyros</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 2:31am

Fucked!<b>Charles900</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 11:05am<b>xKrisSmoove</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 5:27pm<b>the_aspect</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 2:02pm<b>Lesser</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 12:29am<b>NodakN8V</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 7:10pm<b>dakatabg</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 12:40am<b>rogwest</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 11:17pm<b>rafa015</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 4:54pm<b>AirBusDriver</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 4:50pm<b>man_in_black08</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 2:46pm<b>MrsHaxxo</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 11:35am<b>karcummings</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 11:33am<b>martin8337</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 10:16am<b>mustangbravo</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 9:55am<b>ZY1431</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 9:41am<b>Geary519</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 11:49pm<b>Nolimit2217</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 2:15pm<b>copperchinchilla</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 8:30pm

FMLMaximus's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of FMLMaximus's badges

FMLMaximus's favorite FMLs

Today, I finally found a bug I had been trying to get rid of. When I removed my bra, I noticed what looked like a piece of bug on it. Apparently, the bug was flattened and suffocated by my boob the entire day. FML

#21414219
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23938) - you deserved it (2337)

On 05/22/2015 at 10:26pm - misc - by Kurda (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, one of my idiot co-workers thought it'd be hilarious to "fix" my car while I was working. Now every time I step on the brake pedal, the horn goes off. FML

#21412007
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28116) - you deserved it (2298)

On 05/18/2015 at 2:41pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I stood up in front of the class and dropped my pen. As I bent over to pick it up, a boy in the front row loudly broke wind. I will forever be known as "that teacher who farted". FML

#21408482
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25800) - you deserved it (1969)

On 05/11/2015 at 4:54pm - work - by Becky (woman) - United Kingdom (Dorset)

Today, at a party I got blind drunk and I gave a guy a blowjob for the first time. I'm a 100% heterosexual male. FML

#21406764
296 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18389) - you deserved it (34876)

On 05/08/2015 at 12:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - India (Delhi)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend for the first time. I moved my leg to wrap it around him and accidentally hit his penis. Without thinking, I said, "Sorry little guy!" FML

#21402047
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31300) - you deserved it (9737)

On 04/29/2015 at 10:25pm - intimacy - by MiniJeans - United States (Florida)

Today, my mom announced my pregnancy to the entire family via Facebook with the post, "Just went from a MILF to a GILF in one moment of unprotected sex." FML

#21401833
100 comments

Today, my little sister filled the huge house I spent over a week building in Minecraft with TNT. She then demanded I give her all the money in my wallet, or she'd blow it all up. She's now $86.25 richer, and my parents think it's too hilarious to make her give me my money back. FML

#21399271
265 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25837) - you deserved it (22612)

On 04/24/2015 at 11:23pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I found out that, given the correct velocity, a used condom can actually fly through a tiny window and slap you on the leg. I also found out that when you go to the window to yell at the perpetrator, they might have more ammunition. FML

Today, while spring cleaning, my cat came into the kitchen with a live mouse in her mouth. She looked me dead in the eyes and dropped the mouse, which then ran into my bedroom. It's been 4 hours and I still can't find it. Where's the cat? Chilling like nothing happened. FML

#21396858
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29844) - you deserved it (3112)

On 04/20/2015 at 2:06pm - animals - by craZycatLady - United States (Kansas)

Today, my boyfriend let out a horrible fart in the middle of sex. Even though it was clearly his, he gave me disgusted look, called me a dirty bitch, then kept going. Let's just say I didn't finish. FML

#21396154
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30988) - you deserved it (2820)

On 04/19/2015 at 10:04am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I took my 2 year old to the potty in a public restroom. I was just about to set her on the toilet when the automatic flush went off, scaring her and causing her to pee all over both of us. FML

#21394708
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30212) - you deserved it (2449)

On 04/16/2015 at 2:36pm - kids - by klutz44 - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got trapped in my building's elevator for over an hour, with my dog who I had been rushing outside with because he had explosive diarrhea. FML

#21391716
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33755) - you deserved it (2495)

On 04/11/2015 at 8:12am - animals - by Crappy - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at a mind-numbingly boring support session, everyone was talking about their hardships. One guy was talking about losing his leg in a car accident. I was half-asleep and asked without thinking, "Did you ever find it?" I almost shat my pants at the roomful of death glares that followed. FML

#21389976
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17308) - you deserved it (32337)

On 04/08/2015 at 12:08pm - misc - by S to the HIT (man) - United States (California)

Today, at the DMV I was told I had to prove, with a doctor's note, that I was an amputee and my disability was permanent to get my placard. Apparently, setting my prosthetic leg on the counter wasn't proof enough, and is considered "threatening". The police were called. FML

#21386342
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38594) - you deserved it (2086)

On 04/02/2015 at 2:43am - health - by usadisvet (man) - United States (Tennessee)



Juliette Bubulle's illustrated FML

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  • It's the weekend so let's plaster on a fake smile and plough through this shit one more time. Sorry, I was channelling Bill Hicks there. I'll start again. Hi everyone, how are you doing? This week…

Friday 29 May 2015

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