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FMLMaximus

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FMLMaximus

34Fucked!

FMLMaximusFMLMaximus
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 24 September 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3978
  • Number of comments : 38
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 19 posted

About FMLMaximus : Mother, gamer, reader, love being outside with the earth. Only here to read FMLs but I enjoy meeting new people as well. I have been an avid reader of FMLs since I was in high school. I have yet to get one posted but I'm optimistic about it. :P

FMLMaximus's page activity

Visits<b>daveyyyyh</b> - 23 hours ago<b>saocrates</b> - the 08/31/2015 at 2:32pm<b>gopi</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 4:27pm<b>kirstyfunnybunny</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 3:15am<b>AirBusDriver</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 6:57pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 08/15/2015 at 4:31pm<b>Mons</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 10:51am<b>nfedrichy</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 4:52pm<b>Teyros</b> - the 08/05/2015 at 6:25pm<b>Chinhull</b> - the 08/04/2015 at 12:56am<b>hotheadslav</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 5:29pm<b>Steve97</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 11:50am<b>MrThump</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 2:40am<b>tiger820</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 5:09am<b>tiredofwaiting</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 1:14am<b>lil_jimmy</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 10:25pm<b>philsh94</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 8:00pm<b>zinoxity</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 2:15pm

Fucked!<b>daveyyyyh</b> - 17 hours ago<b>kirstyfunnybunny</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 9:14am<b>nfedrichy</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 10:52pm<b>Chinhull</b> - the 08/04/2015 at 6:56am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 3:44am<b>tiredofwaiting</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 7:14am<b>fadiuj</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 11:24am<b>MrThump</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 11:21am<b>lil_jimmy</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 11:19am<b>spockadelic</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 9:55am<b>Charles900</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 11:05am<b>xKrisSmoove</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 5:27pm<b>the_aspect</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 2:02pm<b>Lesser</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 12:29am<b>NodakN8V</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 7:10pm<b>dakatabg</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 12:40am<b>rogwest</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 11:17pm<b>rafa015</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 4:54pm

FMLMaximus's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of FMLMaximus's badges

FMLMaximus's favorite FMLs

Today, a customer service guy called to fix a problem I've been having with my phone. When it transpired that he couldn't help, he transferred me to another representative. This other representative ended up being a John Deere dealer in Michigan. FML

#21463522
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17156) - you deserved it (1171)

On 09/01/2015 at 10:26pm - misc - by NotBuyingATractor (man) - United States (California)

Today, I met my fiancé's much older sister for the first time. Turns out she is actually my old high school English teacher who used to make me cry at least 3 times a week. It's been three hours and I've accidentally called her Miss Willow 4 times and been reduced to tears twice. FML

#21462491
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26224) - you deserved it (2825)

On 08/30/2015 at 8:13am - misc - by Alice (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, at work, one of the elderly residents dropped a turd on the floor. I went to go get the nurse but couldn't find her. Upon returning to the scene, another resident picked it up and placed it in my hand, thinking it was mud. Now my nickname at work is 'Nugget'. FML

#21462428
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19731) - you deserved it (1563)

On 08/30/2015 at 2:20am - work - by anon - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had to explain to my dad how I rear-ended the car in front of me because of a particularly intense banjo solo. FML

#21461958
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11685) - you deserved it (17138)

On 08/29/2015 at 1:09am - misc - by mumfordandsonimdisappointed - United States

Today, my mom meant to send a picture of her poop to my aunt, but sent it to my swim coach instead. FML

Today, I witnessed my dad wake himself from a nap with his own fart and start panicking in confusion. I guess I shouldn't have broken down laughing, because he demanded to know what I did to him. He didn't believe the truth and bitched me out for screwing around. FML

#21453366
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22164) - you deserved it (1927)

On 08/08/2015 at 1:18am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I discovered that I am just tall enough and my hair is just long enough, to get caught in the ceiling fan if I flip it over to dry it. FML

#21452688
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22242) - you deserved it (2545)

On 08/06/2015 at 11:18am - misc - by Lilo4life - United States (California)

Today, I responded to an argument with my girlfriend by only using comebacks she'd used in previous arguments. I'm single now. FML

#21451268
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23186) - you deserved it (10139)

On 08/03/2015 at 10:14am - love - by Cygnus - United States (Iowa)

Today, a revolving door got the better of me. I made it into the crowded lobby, unlike my skirt. Bad day to wear a thong. FML

#21448563
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27167) - you deserved it (3441)

On 07/28/2015 at 1:18pm - misc - by Oopsie - United States (Vermont)

Today, I had to imagine myself savagely beating my cat to death, just to stop myself from getting a boner while a girl laid her head in my lap. FML

#21446710
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29043) - you deserved it (4804)

On 07/24/2015 at 8:12pm - intimacy - by strangely - United States (California)

Today, I went out to inspect the backyard. There are now more than two dozen spiders hanging out and webs crossing from one side of the yard to the other. I have decided to surrender this territory. FML

#21445864
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23305) - you deserved it (2497)

On 07/23/2015 at 5:44am - animals - by Skoff (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while I was at home watching Netflix, my parents drunkenly stumbled through the door making out the whole time. I thought that the situation couldn't get worse, but then my Dad asked me if I had a condom they could use. FML

Today, I went downstairs early in the morning to watch a movie. As I walked into the living room and reached for the light switch, I heard my dad say "Knew you'd change your mind. Get them panties off." followed by the sound of a zipper being undone. I've never been so mortified in my life. FML

#21442030
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33717) - you deserved it (2466)

On 07/15/2015 at 12:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my psycho ex girlfriend got up in my face after I dumped her. She said I'm going to pay and that one day, when I think I'm safe and happy, my joy will turn to ash in my mouth. When I pointed out she'd just ripped off a Game of Thrones quote, she kneed me in the balls. FML

#21439786
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26018) - you deserved it (3681)

On 07/10/2015 at 10:42pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to my girlfriend's parents' house for lunch. I ended up in the bathroom constipated and remembered reading it's easier to "go" if you are squatting. My girlfriend's dad walked in on me perched on the toilet like an owl. FML

#21430214
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25087) - you deserved it (4778)

On 06/22/2015 at 4:58pm - health - by oh no (man) - United States (California)



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