FMLMaximus

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FMLMaximus

42Fucked!

FMLMaximusFMLMaximus
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 24 September 1990 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4964
  • Number of comments : 47
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 20 posted

About FMLMaximus : Mother, gamer, reader, love being outside with the earth. Only here to read FMLs but I enjoy meeting new people as well. I have been an avid reader of FMLs since I was in high school. I have yet to get one posted but I'm optimistic about it. :P

FMLMaximus's page activity

Visits<b>Teyros</b> - 18 hours ago<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 04/25/2016 at 6:36pm<b>Bonngoo</b> - the 04/20/2016 at 10:37pm<b>kev1316</b> - the 04/16/2016 at 12:36am<b>AirBusDriver</b> - the 04/13/2016 at 12:50pm<b>Malteser95</b> - the 04/06/2016 at 5:19pm<b>rafa015</b> - the 04/06/2016 at 3:58pm<b>Wane8822</b> - the 04/03/2016 at 10:57pm<b>Tobeza</b> - the 03/03/2016 at 6:23pm<b>jill97</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 11:26am<b>wafflelover</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 11:53am<b>lungjiao</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 1:17am<b>laurellkawes</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 10:03pm<b>hullarms</b> - the 01/09/2016 at 9:16am<b>jessejaymz08</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 3:50pm<b>Tomato_Cheese</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 12:35am<b>barisozdemir</b> - the 11/29/2015 at 12:54pm<b>TEZZ</b> - the 11/24/2015 at 11:16am

Fucked!<b>Wane8822</b> - the 02/20/2016 at 3:23am<b>Tomato_Cheese</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 6:36am<b>barisozdemir</b> - the 11/29/2015 at 6:54pm<b>dcam13</b> - the 10/30/2015 at 7:53am<b>Tarlachia</b> - the 10/27/2015 at 11:58am<b>pokysmalls</b> - the 10/18/2015 at 5:27am<b>melons</b> - the 10/07/2015 at 4:57pm<b>ToxicTyrael</b> - the 10/07/2015 at 8:23am<b>daveyyyyh</b> - the 09/03/2015 at 10:33pm<b>kirstyfunnybunny</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 9:14am<b>nfedrichy</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 10:52pm<b>Chinhull</b> - the 08/04/2015 at 6:56am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 3:44am<b>tiredofwaiting</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 7:14am<b>fadiuj</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 11:24am<b>MrThump</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 11:21am<b>lil_jimmy</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 11:19am<b>spockadelic</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 9:55am

FMLMaximus's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of FMLMaximus's badges

FMLMaximus's favorite FMLs

Today, I returned from a week long vacation in Aruba. After 10 hours of travel and 3 flights, I was walking to my car at the airport, excited to finally get home, only to realize I left my car keys, apartment keys, and work keys at the resort. FML

by LockedOut / 05/03/2016 at 11:50am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up to the sound of my boyfriend chuckling to himself. Turns out he had just clogged the toilet. When he called maintenance, halfway through explaining the problem he started hysterically giggling and had to hang up mid-sentence. This has been a reoccurring theme. FML

by sleepylillion / 04/25/2016 at 1:07am / United States (Hawaii) / Love

Today, I was hauling cow shit. I had a car following me very closely, so I turned on the spreader to get them to back off. It was a cop. I got pulled over in a tractor for spraying cow shit on a cop car. FML

by farmingman / 04/14/2016 at 7:24pm / United States (Missouri) / Work

Today, I watched in horror from the other room as my boyfriend picked the biggest, slimiest booger I've ever seen, then lowered it into his mouth and licked his finger clean. I very nearly threw up. FML

Today, as I walked around town I noticed some guys and even a couple of girls checked me out. When I got home later I realized they probably weren't checking me out, so much as wondering why the hell I had thick black eyeliner on only one eye. Oops. FML

by Anonymous / 02/05/2016 at 2:15pm / United States (South Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, while at work at a small Microsoft partner company, I had to write an email explaining why Internet Explorer is superior to Google Chrome. FML

by Coccinelle / 02/05/2016 at 11:36am / France / Work

Today, I agreed to anal with my boyfriend, which he was happy about, until I told him in the interest of fair play he also had to let me fuck him with a strap on. It didn't take him very long to suddenly decide anal is disgusting, with all kinds of health risks. And he thinks he's the smart one. FML

by sandra / 02/04/2016 at 8:01pm / Norway (Sor-Trondelag) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend and I got caught doing it in her parent's bed by her mom. Instead of making me leave, they forced me to stay for dinner. FML

by aj513 / 11/28/2015 at 8:20pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend told me he took pictures of me while I was sleeping. Instead of it being all cute like you see on social media, there's me sleeping with his dirty-ass sock on my face and him smiling in the background. FML

by Anonymous / 11/19/2015 at 3:15am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I excitedly told my husband that I'm pregnant with our first child. With the most shit-eating grin, he said, "Hi, Pregnant. I'm dad." FML

by Anonymous / 11/17/2015 at 9:13pm / United States (Virginia) / Kids

Today, I tried to give my first hand-job while wearing fuzzy socks in a carpeted room. I reached out to touch his penis and shocked him. FML

by nnniii / 11/15/2015 at 11:55pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that my immediate supervisor had modified my phone in the priority order at our call center. As a result, any calls that came in during the night shift would be routed to my phone first, so that he can play games on his phone uninterrupted. It's been a whole year. FML

by YouBossturd / 11/10/2015 at 10:17am / United States (District of Columbia) / Work

Today, I was in bed with the stomach flu. My boyfriend thought it would be funny to fart in the fan next to our bed, which caused me to vomit all over myself. FML

by Anonymouse / 11/06/2015 at 9:03pm / Health

Today, I dropped my phone between my legs and tried to catch it with my thighs. Instead, the phone fell through just as I crushed my own balls with my legs. FML

by MedChew / 10/30/2015 at 1:01pm / Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur) / Health

Today, while on a walk during lunch, I urgently needed to pee. Not thinking I could make it back to the office, I slipped into some bushes to relieve myself. As I was going, I looked to the side and saw two coworkers staring back at me. They were having sex, and I'm there with my dick out. Awkward. FML

by Embarrassed ass. / 10/23/2015 at 12:05am / United States (Oregon) / Work