Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLMaximus

Offline (9 hours ago) | Search for a member

FMLMaximus

5Liked!

FMLMaximusFMLMaximus
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 24 September 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2317
  • Number of comments : 25
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 14 posted

About FMLMaximus : Mother, gamer, reader, love being outside with the earth. Only here to read FMLs but I enjoy meeting new people as well. I have been an avid reader of FMLs since I was in high school. I have yet to get one posted but I'm optimistic about it. :P

FMLMaximus's page activity

Visits<b>soak_25</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 10:43pm<b>ian3866</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 9:41pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 1:19am<b>ToxicLover29</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 8:16am<b>els2010</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 4:33am<b>arasx0</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 6:23pm<b>steftriv</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 5:41pm<b>mongoosemike</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 7:59pm<b>hallieee</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 5:03am<b>TheMagicalpanda</b> - the 02/18/2015 at 7:51pm<b>stalwartslacker</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 6:52pm<b>daveyyyyh</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 10:01pm<b>copperchinchilla</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 2:30pm<b>Acerhawk</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 4:32pm<b>joshtapp</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 10:32pm<b>MattBenid</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 3:29pm<b>Helldemon</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 1:22pm<b>triplebeerox</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 3:59am

Liked!<b>copperchinchilla</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 8:30pm<b>Acerhawk</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 10:32pm<b>gary3768</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 6:06am<b>Toolishing</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 6:10am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 9:25pm

FMLMaximus's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of FMLMaximus's badges

FMLMaximus's favorite FMLs

Today, while laughing at a jogger that fell down while running, I choked on my French fries. They had to give me the Heimlich maneuver. FML

#21366627
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11465) - you deserved it (40944)

On 03/02/2015 at 3:40pm - health - by teapotrevolt - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, while cleaning my son's room, I found an envelope labelled "PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL" under his bed. I opened it, only to find it was a glitter bomb. I couldn't get it all cleaned off myself before he got home. He just said "HAH! Serves you right!" and went to his room smirking. FML

#21365242
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16652) - you deserved it (49836)

On 02/28/2015 at 1:11pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I saw my grandma had registered on Facebook, so I wrote a welcome post on her wall. She replied "Delete." several times, then called me, accusing me of "hacking" her and demanding that I remove my name from her page at once. FML

#21364671
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27382) - you deserved it (2450)

On 02/27/2015 at 3:20pm - misc - by Y_Y (man) - United States

Today, while having sex, my fiancé started talking dirty. I enjoyed it, until he had a brain fart and said, "God, you love fucking my pussy." FML

#21364648
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26377) - you deserved it (2994)

On 02/27/2015 at 2:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I hit my head on the steering wheel when I sneezed. I managed to honk the horn and the guy next to me couldn't stop laughing. FML

#21361311
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31189) - you deserved it (4501)

On 02/22/2015 at 8:41pm - misc - by headache - United States

Today, my husband again lost his keys. It's a daily struggle to find them. This time they were in an ice cube, literally. He said he must have accidentally put them in there when making ice. He's going to be the father of my future children. FML

#21360688
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33307) - you deserved it (7904)

On 02/21/2015 at 10:47pm - misc - by wife - United States (California)

Today, a guy attacked me and tried to steal my bag. I tried to defend myself by biting him as hard as I could. I then woke up to my husband screaming in pain. FML

#21360466
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32555) - you deserved it (3889)

On 02/21/2015 at 3:28pm - misc - by poncho55 (woman) -

Today, I got the most tear-jerking comment so far about my severe stutter. While I was talking to my neighbor, his little brother interrupted and asked me if I was possessed by a demon. FML

Today, my grandma rushed into my work and told my manager I had to leave due to a family emergency. Panicked, I ran to get my stuff and ran to the car. When I asked what had happened, she replied, "I needed someone to go see 50 Shades of Grey with me." FML

#21355550
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33048) - you deserved it (3377)

On 02/13/2015 at 8:27pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my husband recited to me the name and model number of every single weapon in the game Doom, along with what they did and roughly where to find them. Last month, he forgot my birthday. We've been married for 6 years; he hasn't played Doom in at least 10. FML

#21353586
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31716) - you deserved it (3250)

On 02/10/2015 at 7:00pm - love - by doomed (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, at work, I sneezed so hard that I hit my head on my cash register. A second later, I heard roaring laughter from the security room, followed by someone saying to play it back. I'd almost convinced myself it wasn't about me, when one of the guys came out and gave me a thumb up. FML

#21349710
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33608) - you deserved it (2971)

On 02/04/2015 at 2:28pm - work - by fxck (woman) -

Today, I slept on the plane ride home and had a scary nightmare. I started screaming in my dream, so loud that it shocked the old lady sitting next to me into screaming as well. The whole plane began laughing as we were both screaming. FML

Today, I took out my old hairdryer and turned it on. I then gave my roommate a show as I ran out of the bathroom, naked and screaming, after a spider was blasted out of the hairdryer and directly at my face. FML

#21316166
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32063) - you deserved it (4041)

On 12/12/2014 at 11:35am - misc - by lateralligator - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out first-hand that the most horrifying sight you can ever witness is two morbidly obese people getting nasty with each other in a dance club's run-down, public restroom. FML

#21316146
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31564) - you deserved it (4330)

On 12/12/2014 at 11:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Alaska)

Today, my sister turned the volume on my phone way up and changed the ringtone to a woman's blood-curdling scream. I found this out when she called my phone at 2am as I slept next to it. I pissed my pants and fell out of bed screaming in terror. I'll never hear the end of this. FML

#21313211
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37820) - you deserved it (3615)

On 12/07/2014 at 3:54pm - kids - by terdberglerforlyfe (man) - Brazil (Sao Paulo)



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #12
  • Another month, another bunch of shitposts. Yes, it's time to delve into the postbag and have another look at the weird and wonderful stuff we've been sent by people from all over the world. Hope you…

Tuesday 3 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: