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Offline (the 09/07/2016 at 4:53am)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 24 September 1990 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 6354
  • Number of comments : 47
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 21 posted

About FMLMaximus : Mother, gamer, reader, love being outside with the earth. Only here to read FMLs but I enjoy meeting new people as well. I have been an avid reader of FMLs since I was in high school. I have yet to get one posted but I'm optimistic about it. :P

FMLMaximus's page activity

Visits<b>lutessiarose</b> - the 12/01/2016 at 6:33am<b>Robby2448</b> - the 11/27/2016 at 10:43pm<b>Teyros</b> - the 11/21/2016 at 3:49pm<b>eyepuppy</b> - the 11/03/2016 at 4:12pm<b>Toonice45</b> - the 10/28/2016 at 1:12am<b>lolol123</b> - the 10/19/2016 at 1:58am<b>SpartyOnWayne</b> - the 09/24/2016 at 5:45pm<b>chewsef</b> - the 09/24/2016 at 3:54pm<b>AirBusDriver</b> - the 09/24/2016 at 3:02pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 09/24/2016 at 9:17am<b>Generalleroy</b> - the 09/24/2016 at 6:44am<b>Infamous278</b> - the 09/08/2016 at 10:21pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 08/31/2016 at 2:10pm<b>doubledutchy</b> - the 08/31/2016 at 4:53am<b>thatoneguy255</b> - the 08/27/2016 at 10:47pm<b>Lct1196</b> - the 08/11/2016 at 10:08am<b>elizabeth_black</b> - the 08/10/2016 at 10:09am<b>mattdrew32</b> - the 07/23/2016 at 10:59pm

Fucked!<b>Robby2448</b> - the 09/27/2016 at 2:51am<b>DerBuchmacher</b> - the 07/17/2016 at 8:46pm<b>FFStepchild283</b> - the 07/14/2016 at 11:51pm<b>Lct1196</b> - the 07/07/2016 at 7:05pm<b>AyeTee77</b> - the 06/08/2016 at 11:58pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 06/02/2016 at 5:25pm<b>alcalaboy5</b> - the 06/02/2016 at 3:43pm<b>Wane8822</b> - the 02/20/2016 at 3:23am<b>Tomato_Cheese</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 6:36am<b>barisozdemir</b> - the 11/29/2015 at 6:54pm<b>dcam13</b> - the 10/30/2015 at 7:53am<b>Tarlachia</b> - the 10/27/2015 at 11:58am<b>pokysmalls</b> - the 10/18/2015 at 5:27am<b>melons</b> - the 10/07/2015 at 4:57pm<b>ToxicTyrael</b> - the 10/07/2015 at 8:23am<b>daveyyyyh</b> - the 09/03/2015 at 10:33pm<b>kirstyfunnybunny</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 9:14am<b>nfedrichy</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 10:52pm

FMLMaximus's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of FMLMaximus's badges

FMLMaximus's favorite FMLs

Today, I made a point of talking to our parachute riggers, and thanking them for all they do. Today is also the first day I had to pull my reserve chute because my main chute didn't open correctly. FML

by rickjameson / 08/29/2016 at 6:19am / United States (North Carolina) / Work

Today, I went to get my first acupuncture. The doctor was a cute Korean woman, so I tried to start a conversation. When she pricked me with a needle near the tailbone, I involuntarily let one loose and saw her gag. FML

by Revelyn / 06/03/2016 at 6:18pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I returned from a week long vacation in Aruba. After 10 hours of travel and 3 flights, I was walking to my car at the airport, excited to finally get home, only to realize I left my car keys, apartment keys, and work keys at the resort. FML

by kaleemuller / 05/03/2016 at 11:50am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I woke up to the sound of my boyfriend chuckling to himself. Turns out he had just clogged the toilet. When he called maintenance, halfway through explaining the problem he started hysterically giggling and had to hang up mid-sentence. This has been a reoccurring theme. FML

by sleepylillion / 04/25/2016 at 1:07am / United States (Hawaii) / Love

Today, I was hauling cow shit. I had a car following me very closely, so I turned on the spreader to get them to back off. It was a cop. I got pulled over in a tractor for spraying cow shit on a cop car. FML

by farmingman / 04/14/2016 at 7:24pm / United States (Missouri) / Work

Today, I watched in horror from the other room as my boyfriend picked the biggest, slimiest booger I've ever seen, then lowered it into his mouth and licked his finger clean. I very nearly threw up. FML

by UUUGHHH / 02/05/2016 at 3:33pm / Miscellaneous

Today, as I walked around town I noticed some guys and even a couple of girls checked me out. When I got home later I realized they probably weren't checking me out, so much as wondering why the hell I had thick black eyeliner on only one eye. Oops. FML

by Anonymous / 02/05/2016 at 2:15pm / United States (South Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, while at work at a small Microsoft partner company, I had to write an email explaining why Internet Explorer is superior to Google Chrome. FML

by Coccinelle / 02/05/2016 at 11:36am / France / Work

Today, I agreed to anal with my boyfriend, which he was happy about, until I told him in the interest of fair play he also had to let me fuck him with a strap on. It didn't take him very long to suddenly decide anal is disgusting, with all kinds of health risks. And he thinks he's the smart one. FML

by sandra / 02/04/2016 at 8:01pm / Norway (Sor-Trondelag) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend and I got caught doing it in her parent's bed by her mom. Instead of making me leave, they forced me to stay for dinner. FML

by aj513 / 11/28/2015 at 8:20pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend told me he took pictures of me while I was sleeping. Instead of it being all cute like you see on social media, there's me sleeping with his dirty-ass sock on my face and him smiling in the background. FML

by Anonymous / 11/19/2015 at 3:15am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I excitedly told my husband that I'm pregnant with our first child. With the most shit-eating grin, he said, "Hi, Pregnant. I'm dad." FML

by Anonymous / 11/17/2015 at 9:13pm / United States (Virginia) / Kids

Today, I tried to give my first hand-job while wearing fuzzy socks in a carpeted room. I reached out to touch his penis and shocked him. FML

by nnniii / 11/15/2015 at 11:55pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that my immediate supervisor had modified my phone in the priority order at our call center. As a result, any calls that came in during the night shift would be routed to my phone first, so that he can play games on his phone uninterrupted. It's been a whole year. FML

by YouBossturd / 11/10/2015 at 10:17am / United States (District of Columbia) / Work

Today, I was in bed with the stomach flu. My boyfriend thought it would be funny to fart in the fan next to our bed, which caused me to vomit all over myself. FML

by Anonymouse / 11/06/2015 at 9:03pm / Health