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FMLMaximus

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FMLMaximus

22Fucked!

FMLMaximusFMLMaximus
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 24 September 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2980
  • Number of comments : 32
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 16 posted

About FMLMaximus : Mother, gamer, reader, love being outside with the earth. Only here to read FMLs but I enjoy meeting new people as well. I have been an avid reader of FMLs since I was in high school. I have yet to get one posted but I'm optimistic about it. :P

FMLMaximus's page activity

Visits<b>Mons</b> - 21 hours ago<b>ezcustoms</b> - 23 hours ago<b>AirBusDriver</b> - yesterday at 12:24am<b>biasedshooter</b> - yesterday at 8:07pm<b>redstone7693</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 11:15pm<b>arasx0</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 2:57pm<b>buenos24</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 3:43am<b>snarkytruth</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 3:01am<b>Charles900</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 12:05am<b>Drag0nb0rn</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 9:10pm<b>Malteser95</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 8:57am<b>Andrewski12</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 8:30am<b>knightofdarkness</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 5:41am<b>Teyros</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 1:18am<b>Rkikkas9713</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 11:33pm<b>big_papa_</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 11:37am<b>Bretzelife</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 1:59am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 12:40am

Fucked!<b>Charles900</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 11:05am<b>xKrisSmoove</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 5:27pm<b>the_aspect</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 2:02pm<b>Lesser</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 12:29am<b>NodakN8V</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 7:10pm<b>dakatabg</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 12:40am<b>rogwest</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 11:17pm<b>rafa015</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 4:54pm<b>AirBusDriver</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 4:50pm<b>man_in_black08</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 2:46pm<b>MrsHaxxo</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 11:35am<b>karcummings</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 11:33am<b>martin8337</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 10:16am<b>mustangbravo</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 9:55am<b>ZY1431</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 9:41am<b>Geary519</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 11:49pm<b>Nolimit2217</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 2:15pm<b>copperchinchilla</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 8:30pm

FMLMaximus's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of FMLMaximus's badges

FMLMaximus's favorite FMLs

Today, I took my 2 year old to the potty in a public restroom. I was just about to set her on the toilet when the automatic flush went off, scaring her and causing her to pee all over both of us. FML

#21394708
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22147) - you deserved it (1786)

On 04/16/2015 at 2:36pm - kids - by klutz44 - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got trapped in my building's elevator for over an hour, with my dog who I had been rushing outside with because he had explosive diarrhea. FML

#21391716
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31418) - you deserved it (2448)

On 04/11/2015 at 8:12am - animals - by Crappy - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after getting a pay raise at work after 15 years and pulling a loan for a new house, I went back to work from a two-week paid vacation to find out that I had been fired two weeks ago for "no call, no show". My manager claims he doesn't recall ever signing a paper for my paid vacation. FML

Today, at a mind-numbingly boring support session, everyone was talking about their hardships. One guy was talking about losing his leg in a car accident. I was half-asleep and asked without thinking, "Did you ever find it?" I almost shat my pants at the roomful of death glares that followed. FML

#21389976
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16371) - you deserved it (30755)

On 04/08/2015 at 12:08pm - misc - by S to the HIT (man) - United States (California)

Today, at the DMV I was told I had to prove, with a doctor's note, that I was an amputee and my disability was permanent to get my placard. Apparently, setting my prosthetic leg on the counter wasn't proof enough, and is considered "threatening". The police were called. FML

#21386342
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36885) - you deserved it (2077)

On 04/02/2015 at 2:43am - health - by usadisvet (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, a coworker and I pulled a April Fools' joke on our boss. She "borrowed" his keys and rolled down his window. I took a car window from a scrap yard and sprinkled it on the ground near his door. His response was to kick the nearest object in anger. The nearest object happened to be my car. FML

#21385709
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24037) - you deserved it (9796)

On 04/01/2015 at 1:46pm - work - by TecheyTim - United States (New York)

Today, I ate a wonderful meal, after which I fell asleep on my couch and had a dream that my husband was passionately kissing me. I woke up to realize it was actually my cat licking bits of food out of my teeth. FML

Today, my mother walked in on me watching porn. As punishment, she sat down and made me watch the rest of it with her as she gave play-by-play commentary. FML

#21368964
266 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43226) - you deserved it (19567)

On 03/05/2015 at 10:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my wife complained that the coffee grounds I swept into the sink grossed her out. Yesterday, I removed several panty-liners from her soiled underwear before doing the laundry. FML

#21368886
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35698) - you deserved it (2407)

On 03/05/2015 at 8:34pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, while laughing at a jogger that fell down while running, I choked on my French fries. They had to give me the Heimlich maneuver. FML

#21366627
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13940) - you deserved it (48729)

On 03/02/2015 at 3:40pm - health - by teapotrevolt - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, while cleaning my son's room, I found an envelope labelled "PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL" under his bed. I opened it, only to find it was a glitter bomb. I couldn't get it all cleaned off myself before he got home. He just said "HAH! Serves you right!" and went to his room smirking. FML

#21365242
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18734) - you deserved it (55341)

On 02/28/2015 at 1:11pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I saw my grandma had registered on Facebook, so I wrote a welcome post on her wall. She replied "Delete." several times, then called me, accusing me of "hacking" her and demanding that I remove my name from her page at once. FML

#21364671
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29096) - you deserved it (2509)

On 02/27/2015 at 3:20pm - misc - by Y_Y (man) - United States

Today, while having sex, my fiancé started talking dirty. I enjoyed it, until he had a brain fart and said, "God, you love fucking my pussy." FML

#21364648
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29461) - you deserved it (3150)

On 02/27/2015 at 2:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I hit my head on the steering wheel when I sneezed. I managed to honk the horn and the guy next to me couldn't stop laughing. FML

#21361311
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32333) - you deserved it (4778)

On 02/22/2015 at 8:41pm - misc - by headache - United States



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