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FMLMaximus

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FMLMaximus

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FMLMaximusFMLMaximus
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 24 September 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2708
  • Number of comments : 26
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 15 posted

About FMLMaximus : Mother, gamer, reader, love being outside with the earth. Only here to read FMLs but I enjoy meeting new people as well. I have been an avid reader of FMLs since I was in high school. I have yet to get one posted but I'm optimistic about it. :P

FMLMaximus's page activity

Visits<b>ian3866</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 9:19pm<b>daveyyyyh</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 2:57pm<b>pureportedpear</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 10:26am<b>knightofdarkness</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 6:23pm<b>Geary519</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 6:49pm<b>Nolimit2217</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 9:15am<b>soak_25</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 10:43pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 1:19am<b>ToxicLover29</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 8:16am<b>els2010</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 4:33am<b>arasx0</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 6:23pm<b>steftriv</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 5:41pm<b>mongoosemike</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 7:59pm<b>hallieee</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 5:03am<b>TheMagicalpanda</b> - the 02/18/2015 at 7:51pm<b>stalwartslacker</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 6:52pm<b>copperchinchilla</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 2:30pm<b>Acerhawk</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 4:32pm

Liked!<b>Geary519</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 11:49pm<b>Nolimit2217</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 2:15pm<b>copperchinchilla</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 8:30pm<b>Acerhawk</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 10:32pm<b>gary3768</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 6:06am<b>Toolishing</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 6:10am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 9:25pm

FMLMaximus's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of FMLMaximus's badges

FMLMaximus's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband used the vacuum cleaner. Proud of him for this first-ever initiative, I congratulated him. His second initiative was to stick the nozzle on my ass, yelling, "Liposuction!" FML

#21380706
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27914) - you deserved it (4576) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/24/2015 at 8:58am - love - by chassezlenaturel (woman) - Belgium

Today, I ate a wonderful meal, after which I fell asleep on my couch and had a dream that my husband was passionately kissing me. I woke up to realize it was actually my cat licking bits of food out of my teeth. FML

Today, my mother walked in on me watching porn. As punishment, she sat down and made me watch the rest of it with her as she gave play-by-play commentary. FML

#21368964
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43190) - you deserved it (19533)

On 03/05/2015 at 10:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my wife complained that the coffee grounds I swept into the sink grossed her out. Yesterday, I removed several panty-liners from her soiled underwear before doing the laundry. FML

#21368886
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35623) - you deserved it (2404)

On 03/05/2015 at 8:34pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, while laughing at a jogger that fell down while running, I choked on my French fries. They had to give me the Heimlich maneuver. FML

#21366627
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13934) - you deserved it (48688)

On 03/02/2015 at 3:40pm - health - by teapotrevolt - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, while cleaning my son's room, I found an envelope labelled "PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL" under his bed. I opened it, only to find it was a glitter bomb. I couldn't get it all cleaned off myself before he got home. He just said "HAH! Serves you right!" and went to his room smirking. FML

#21365242
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18181) - you deserved it (47)

On 02/28/2015 at 1:11pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I saw my grandma had registered on Facebook, so I wrote a welcome post on her wall. She replied "Delete." several times, then called me, accusing me of "hacking" her and demanding that I remove my name from her page at once. FML

#21364671
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29080) - you deserved it (2507)

On 02/27/2015 at 3:20pm - misc - by Y_Y (man) - United States

Today, while having sex, my fiancé started talking dirty. I enjoyed it, until he had a brain fart and said, "God, you love fucking my pussy." FML

#21364648
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29213) - you deserved it (3139)

On 02/27/2015 at 2:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I hit my head on the steering wheel when I sneezed. I managed to honk the horn and the guy next to me couldn't stop laughing. FML

#21361311
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31788) - you deserved it (4520)

On 02/22/2015 at 8:41pm - misc - by headache - United States

Today, my husband again lost his keys. It's a daily struggle to find them. This time they were in an ice cube, literally. He said he must have accidentally put them in there when making ice. He's going to be the father of my future children. FML

#21360688
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33795) - you deserved it (7946)

On 02/21/2015 at 10:47pm - misc - by wife - United States (California)

Today, a guy attacked me and tried to steal my bag. I tried to defend myself by biting him as hard as I could. I then woke up to my husband screaming in pain. FML

#21360466
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32989) - you deserved it (3904)

On 02/21/2015 at 3:28pm - misc - by poncho55 (woman) -

Today, I got the most tear-jerking comment so far about my severe stutter. While I was talking to my neighbor, his little brother interrupted and asked me if I was possessed by a demon. FML

Today, my grandma rushed into my work and told my manager I had to leave due to a family emergency. Panicked, I ran to get my stuff and ran to the car. When I asked what had happened, she replied, "I needed someone to go see 50 Shades of Grey with me." FML

#21355550
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33348) - you deserved it (3384)

On 02/13/2015 at 8:27pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my husband recited to me the name and model number of every single weapon in the game Doom, along with what they did and roughly where to find them. Last month, he forgot my birthday. We've been married for 6 years; he hasn't played Doom in at least 10. FML

#21353586
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31916) - you deserved it (3258)

On 02/10/2015 at 7:00pm - love - by doomed (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, at work, I sneezed so hard that I hit my head on my cash register. A second later, I heard roaring laughter from the security room, followed by someone saying to play it back. I'd almost convinced myself it wasn't about me, when one of the guys came out and gave me a thumb up. FML

#21349710
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33677) - you deserved it (2956)

On 02/04/2015 at 2:28pm - work - by fxck (woman) -



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