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FML102938's favorite FMLs
Today, a technician from my ISP came to my house to replace my router. He asked for a glass of water, one thing led to another, and for some reason I'll never fully understand, we ended up having sex. Looks like porn logic is not so far off the mark after all. FML
by je_regrette_tout / 03/09/2013 at 1:50pm / Intimacy
by poorkids / 10/31/2012 at 1:01am / United States (Washington) / Kids
Today, my dad finally met my girlfriend. Unfortunately, he was driving the ambulance that she was in, due to severe alcohol poisoning and was on the way to the hospital to have her stomach pumped. FML
by screwed / 02/07/2012 at 8:40pm / United States (Connecticut) / Health
Today, I had to do community service work, so I helped out at a senior center. One of the confused elderly patients, who believed the Cold War was still on, thought I was a Soviet and started screaming about how I was going to nuke his country. FML
by communistgirl / 01/24/2012 at 11:42am / United States / Work
Today, trying to be romantic, I invited my girlfriend over to watch a movie. I said she could pick one up on the way, and I'd pay for it later. I ended up having to suffer through some "movie" that involved nothing but Nicolas Cage gurning like a stroke victim between crappy fight scenes. FML
by actor my ass / 01/21/2012 at 5:44pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
by Shameful / 01/18/2012 at 2:57pm / United States (Alabama) / Health
by Anonymous / 01/10/2012 at 12:43pm / India / Kids
by blondie101 / 12/09/2011 at 1:11am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Badab1ng / 11/24/2011 at 1:52am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by anonymous / 11/17/2011 at 3:22pm / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy
Today, after getting dumped by my boyfriend, I tried to find comfort in one of my closest friends. He embraced me while I struggled against tears, and after a few moments of silence said, "Hey, you know what? I would fuck you anytime. Anytime." FML
by scewable / 10/13/2011 at 3:19am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by ksamp / 10/12/2011 at 12:26am / United States (Arkansas) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 10/06/2011 at 1:04pm / United States / Transportation
Today, I came home crying after my boyfriend dumped me for another girl. My dad told me to come tell him what was wrong. I sat down and let it all out, after which he looked up from his book, into my eyes, and gave me his loving advice: "Just cry about it and move on to another bastard." FML
by bastard magnet / 10/02/2011 at 6:14pm / United States (California) / Love
by Anonymous / 10/02/2011 at 7:51am / United States / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…