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Ezellianna's FML badges
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
I like your style
You've liked someone. How cute!
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
Ezellianna's favorite FMLs
Today, I got pulled over by the cops for swerving a lot while driving. I tried to explain that my dog bit the back of my neck, but as soon as I opened my door to show him the bite marks and the dog, it ran out of the car. I still can't find him. FML
by anon / 04/26/2016 at 8:11pm / United States (New York) / Animals
by dvddtraveller / 04/22/2016 at 5:25pm / United States (California) / Love
by Dipping Tired / 04/20/2016 at 7:17pm / United States (New York) / Health
Today, after 2 weeks of hard work in the heat planting a garden, just as I thought the most stressful part was over, my wife's mother comes over and brings a huge dog. She then threw a tennis ball for the dog into my freshly seeded garden multiple times, completely destroying most of it. FML
by Completely Fed Up / 04/20/2016 at 2:55pm / United States (Washington) / Animals
by empress gleskizor the third of glarkon / 04/18/2016 at 2:12pm / Hungary (Budapest) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to take my permit test. I had been studying for months and was familiar with the whole book. When I sat down to take my test, I didn't recognize any of the questions. I went home and found out the book I used to study was the book my mom used to take her test in 1970. FML
by dk_2k16 / 04/12/2016 at 4:29pm / United States (Mississippi) / Work
Today, I had a second date with a really hot guy I met at the mall. Lucky for me, I went into anaphylactic shock from shrimp and the guy called my parents. When I left the hospital, I was notified that after he called my parents, he ordered more food and charged it to my credit card on file. FML
by echolaker2019 / 04/10/2016 at 11:57pm / United States (New York) / Love
Today, I took a girl to a sushi restaurant for our first date. She insisted she's had sushi before, but I had to watch her struggle with the chopsticks for a few minutes before mercifully asking the waitress for a fork. She then ate a fork full of wasabi, thinking it was guacamole. I think there won't be a second date. FML
by John_Elvis / 04/08/2016 at 11:30pm / United States (Indiana) / Love
Today, my 4-year-old brother has a very strict 8:30 PM bedtime. Since I would have to walk past his door to get to the rest of the house, I'm not allowed to leave my room past that time, lest I tempt him to get up too. I can't even go to the bathroom. FML
by minissaussette / 04/08/2016 at 7:39pm / Kids
Today, I found out that my violent ex has moved to my country for the sole purpose of tracking me down. I know this because my former boss called and told me she gave him my address. She loves the idea of us getting back together because, "You are such a cute couple!" FML
by running scared / 04/08/2016 at 5:40am / Norway / Love
by Shotacon / 04/06/2016 at 11:06pm / United States (New York) / Health
by mackamuir / 04/01/2016 at 9:01am / Australia (Queensland) / Money
by Anonymous / 03/29/2016 at 11:37pm / United States (Virginia) / Love
Today, I saw a ridiculously hot guy dining with his family. I decided not to flirt with him with his parents around but to ask his sister (who went to the restroom) to give him my phone number. When I came back, I saw her pointing a finger at me, and the whole family turning around and staring. FML
by Nightsong / 03/29/2016 at 10:54pm / Germany (Bayern) / Love
by nerp / 03/29/2016 at 3:44pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous