Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Eyeslick

Online | Search for a member

Eyeslick

46Fucked!

Eyeslick
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 29 January 1998 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 6866
  • Number of comments : 51
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About Eyeslick : Hello! Welcome to my boring life! I'm not too special, I love listening to peoples problems and hopefully help find a solution to said problem. I am also very interested in psychology and the human body so because of these things I hope to be a psychiatrist some day to help people who have struggled like me! I am also very religious but please don't try to argue....You believe what you want and I'll believe what I want:)

If you already can't tell by my picture; I'm very serious about everything....(sarcasm)

There's not much more interesting about me other then being an avid gamer, Lifeguard, Fighter (Jiu-jitsu),soccer (Futbol) player (High School and Competitive) and an average swimmer...That's about it :D

Eyeslick's page activity

Visits<b>Kataclysm97</b> - 20 hours ago<b>Toonice45</b> - yesterday at 10:49pm<b>ScarletSarah</b> - yesterday at 7:06pm<b>greyshadow640</b> - yesterday at 4:55pm<b>FitFriday</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 3:41am<b>_ballislyfe</b> - the 02/09/2016 at 11:07pm<b>Hilda_x</b> - the 02/09/2016 at 11:31am<b>Michelle1121</b> - the 02/09/2016 at 5:09am<b>agostina_mc</b> - the 02/07/2016 at 10:43pm<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 02/07/2016 at 2:58pm<b>am1717</b> - the 02/07/2016 at 10:55am<b>psychedelicdezzy</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 7:21pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 7:13pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 7:11pm<b>CottonCandyQueen</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 3:45pm<b>isnobodyhere</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 2:32pm<b>SkylarInReverse</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 1:30pm<b>Andrew5454</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 1:09am

Fucked!<b>Kataclysm97</b> - 14 hours ago<b>greyshadow640</b> - yesterday at 10:57pm<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 02/07/2016 at 1:58am<b>isnobodyhere</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 8:33pm<b>SkylarInReverse</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 7:28pm<b>cyb3rbyte</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 2:35pm<b>lkah</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 6:36am<b>heartofhannah</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 4:20am<b>missa8604</b> - the 01/17/2016 at 10:46pm<b>Jellahhhhy</b> - the 01/16/2016 at 9:23am<b>macncheeze97</b> - the 01/12/2016 at 6:56am<b>random_funnygirl</b> - the 01/11/2016 at 11:53am<b>andrmac</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 2:41am<b>miss_cata26</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 7:41pm<b>tintarroja</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 11:22am<b>Caroline1812</b> - the 12/28/2015 at 7:43pm<b>cookimonstur</b> - the 12/17/2015 at 4:43pm<b>sierra_ky</b> - the 12/12/2015 at 6:57am

Eyeslick's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of Eyeslick's badges

Eyeslick's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to sneak out of work early to pick my 14-year-old son up from school. He and a friend had been found covered in Astroglide, racing each other down the corridor on their bellies. My boss noticed my absence from work, and now my son and I are both on suspension. FML

#20526049
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30763) - you deserved it (9439)

On 02/28/2013 at 7:15pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I walked outside to this guy attempting to steal my bike. When I asked him what he was doing he calmly replied, "I'm a bike inspector. You hooked your chain all wrong! This time is a warning; next time it'll be a ticket!" He then threw his full, opened Pepsi can at me. FML

#20524651
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31166) - you deserved it (2537)

On 02/27/2013 at 5:39pm - misc - by Chelsea - United States (Ohio)

Today, I gave birth to my daughter in a hospital corridor. The nurse who took me to my room afterward tried to comfort me by saying there've been worse incidents; she said that two years ago, a lady gave birth in the parking lot. That was me too. FML

#20521872
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60231) - you deserved it (4884) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/25/2013 at 2:47pm - health - by laprochainefoisjerestealamaison (woman) - France (Languedoc-Roussillon)

Today, my boyfriend made me play Slender. I was so terrified, I stopped playing 10 minutes in. Tonight, I kept hearing noises outside. When I peered out through the window, a bald figure in a suit was staring back at me. I shrieked in absolute terror; he burst out laughing. It was my boyfriend. FML

#20520443
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37046) - you deserved it (5384)

On 02/24/2013 at 4:20pm - misc - by stillfuckingcrying (woman) - Sweden (Kalmar Lan)

Today, I lost a bet with my friends. I had to go to the super market and buy a copy of 50 Shades of Grey along with a cucumber. The cashier was trying so hard not to laugh while ringing me up. FML

#20516035
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43100) - you deserved it (11414)

On 02/21/2013 at 8:43am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, the guy I like and his friend came home with me to work on a project. I opened my front door and my mum was at the top of the stairs completely naked, bent over, drying her hair with the hairdryer. It took a few moments for her to realise we were there. FML

#20504733
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34454) - you deserved it (2929)

On 02/13/2013 at 6:47am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (North Ayrshire)

Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting his parents. I'm nervous around them so he encouraged me to drink so I'd loosen up. I got so drunk I tore up all the things in his old room I thought were from ex-girlfriends and accidentally flashed his dad my crotch. FML

#20504494
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9882) - you deserved it (54354)

On 02/13/2013 at 12:07am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting his parents. I'm nervous around them so he encouraged me to drink so I'd loosen up. I got so drunk I tore up all the things in his old room I thought were from ex-girlfriends and accidentally flashed his dad my crotch. FML

#20504494
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9882) - you deserved it (54354)

On 02/13/2013 at 12:07am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, while waiting for my order at a restaurant, a woman walked up to me and slapped me. She looked at me for a moment and said "Sorry, I thought you were someone else." Ten minutes later, the same woman came back and slapped me again. FML

#20502782
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36115) - you deserved it (2666)

On 02/11/2013 at 8:42pm - misc - by Target - United States

Today, it's my boyfriend's birthday. He really likes Legend of Zelda, so I put on a Link hat, took my clothes off, and waited for him at his place. He came home with a hooker. FML

#20502217
175 comments

Today, a girl came up to me on the street and said, "You have like no swag, bro." Feeling clever, I said, "At least I have a high school education." She then took out her work ID, showing me that she was a surgeon, flipped me off, then walked away saying, "This is totally going on Facebook." FML

#20502122
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33136) - you deserved it (29175)

On 02/11/2013 at 10:26am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my son threw the biggest fit in history about going to the dentist. He broke a whole stack of plates, overflowed the bathtub, let the dog loose, and kicked his father when he tried to calm him down. My son is 17. FML

#20495428
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32980) - you deserved it (34637)

On 02/06/2013 at 6:12am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my dad opened a Chinese fortune cookie that read, "Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes." Now he won't stop calling me Experience. FML

#20494543
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39265) - you deserved it (3435)

On 02/05/2013 at 3:19pm - misc - by Experience (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, working as a nurse, I saw a patient in for follow-up after a partial leg amputation. I checked her blood pressure and gave her the reading, which prompted her husband to ask what it meant. She replied, "I'm alive." Before I could stop myself, "And kicking" spilled out of my mouth. FML

#20493802
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28551) - you deserved it (9108)

On 02/04/2013 at 10:30pm - health - by facepalm - United States (New Jersey)

Today, as a firefighter, we were called to assist the ambulance crew with lifting a deceased patient out of a house. Little did I know, he had been dead inside for 3 weeks, and was bloated and popped like a water balloon when we attempted to move him. My girlfriend made soup for the evening meal. FML

#20488428
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42326) - you deserved it (2436)

On 01/31/2013 at 11:39pm - work - by Fireguy92 (man) - United States (Michigan)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: