Eyeslick

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Eyeslick

84Fucked!

Eyeslick
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 28 January 1998 (18 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 8530
  • Number of comments : 53
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 7 posted

About Eyeslick : Hello! Welcome to my boring life! I'm not too special, I love listening to peoples problems and hopefully help find a solution to said problem. I am also very interested in psychology and the human body so because of these things I hope to be a psychiatrist some day to help people who have struggled like me! I am also very religious but please don't try to argue....You believe what you want and I'll believe what I want:)

If you already can't tell by my picture; I'm very serious about everything....(sarcasm)

There's not much more interesting about me other then being an avid gamer, Lifeguard, Fighter (Jiu-jitsu),soccer (Futbol) player (High School and Competitive) and an average swimmer...That's about it :D

Eyeslick's page activity

Visits<b>pengw1</b> - yesterday at 12:01am<b>uhhitsmegan</b> - the 05/27/2016 at 5:11pm<b>v4valour</b> - the 05/26/2016 at 3:46pm<b>alixlauren</b> - the 05/25/2016 at 3:17pm<b>shyy_girl</b> - the 05/23/2016 at 12:33pm<b>SadieDex</b> - the 05/22/2016 at 1:56pm<b>Crazynocatlady</b> - the 05/21/2016 at 5:56pm<b>AnnaMuffin</b> - the 05/15/2016 at 3:57pm<b>DrowningLessons</b> - the 05/08/2016 at 8:39pm<b>Lorrali</b> - the 05/05/2016 at 10:40pm<b>shanewh40</b> - the 05/05/2016 at 6:41am<b>teenagedropout</b> - the 05/01/2016 at 8:14pm<b>phoneaddict13</b> - the 05/01/2016 at 3:53am<b>firemuncher</b> - the 04/30/2016 at 10:11pm<b>AnnaDelRey</b> - the 04/28/2016 at 4:21am<b>connorthomas</b> - the 04/27/2016 at 10:36am<b>max367</b> - the 04/24/2016 at 12:28pm<b>RandomJam124</b> - the 04/17/2016 at 7:29pm

Fucked!<b>uhhitsmegan</b> - the 05/22/2016 at 8:16pm<b>shanewh40</b> - the 04/30/2016 at 2:28pm<b>Neverlandsqueen</b> - the 03/28/2016 at 3:45pm<b>RaspberryFlower</b> - the 03/04/2016 at 10:27pm<b>Marelena20</b> - the 02/29/2016 at 7:56pm<b>davie94</b> - the 02/23/2016 at 4:16am<b>thefaekitten</b> - the 02/23/2016 at 2:56am<b>alixlauren</b> - the 02/22/2016 at 11:07pm<b>LivToFail</b> - the 02/22/2016 at 8:49pm<b>RoseWithThorns</b> - the 02/22/2016 at 7:44am<b>tellyc</b> - the 02/22/2016 at 1:38am<b>ardenxo</b> - the 02/22/2016 at 12:22am<b>GreekGleek6</b> - the 02/21/2016 at 8:43pm<b>hellnosucka</b> - the 02/21/2016 at 7:51pm<b>lexiieeex3</b> - the 02/21/2016 at 7:11pm<b>ZoeeeGuyss</b> - the 02/21/2016 at 5:40pm<b>smallandroid</b> - the 02/21/2016 at 3:59pm<b>coyotefox</b> - the 02/21/2016 at 3:43pm

Eyeslick's FML badges

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

Follow up

You subsequently gave feedback by commenting on an FML that you’d submitted and was published.

One ring to rule them all

You submitted an FML that was successfully published on the website. This makes you an exceptional human being.

See all of Eyeslick's badges

Eyeslick's favorite FMLs

Today, I dressed up as Batman for a comic book convention. I was hit by a car on the way there by a man dressed up as the Joker for the same convention. FML

by ironies a b*tch / 04/13/2013 at 1:04am / United States (Illinois) / Transportation

Today, my boyfriend of 2 weeks said that he was going to cook me dinner. After waiting for the frozen pizza that he decided to make for me to be completely cooked, he said, "Oh I hate this part", reached into the oven with his bare hands and took out the pizza, all while screaming. He is 24. FML

by Anonymous / 04/11/2013 at 11:42am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, after my shift at the hospital ended, I happened to look into a full-length mirror. My new scrubs turned out to be see-through. Instead of my undies, everyone got a good look at my cellulite-ridden ass. Fan-fucking-tastic day to wear a thong. FML

by birdiebeth13 / 04/10/2013 at 1:41pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Work

Today, I met my boyfriend's family for the first time. We got on the subject of theatre, and his dad brought up "The Book of Mormon", how finally someone was making fun of those "nasty, polygamist, cultist freaks", and if his son ever dated one, he would disown him. I'm Mormon. FML

by kenabrookee / 04/03/2013 at 1:48am / United States (California) / Love

Today, one of my 5-year-old son's teeth fell out, but he's quite scatterbrained and he lost it. He did however find my vibrating duck under my pillow, and is now crying because he thinks that I stole his tooth so that the tooth fairy would bring me a toy. FML

by laptitesouris / 03/31/2013 at 7:35pm / France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur) / Kids

Today, I awoke to my husband talking to someone on the phone at 2am. I heard him say, "Baby you're making me hard." Immediately, I asked him who he was talking to. His response? "It's Jake, from State Farm." FML

by anonymous / 03/27/2013 at 7:55pm / United States (Hawaii) / Intimacy

Today, my cat learned how to open doors. Ever since then she's been running up to my room, opening my door, and running away. My cat is playing ding-dong ditch. FML

by Apes / 03/25/2013 at 3:18am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, at a science-fiction convention, a woman came up to me and told me that my white face paint was a mess, my contacts looked cheap, and my costume was an all-round failure. I wasn't wearing a costume, I'm an albino. FML

by Anonymous / 03/19/2013 at 10:16pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked into the room naked while my wife was on the computer to surprise her. She smiled, put down her laptop and left for the bathroom so I started jerking it in anticipation. It was really feeling good until my wife's best friend, who was on Skype, started giggling. FML

by fredo / 03/19/2013 at 8:31am / United States (Iowa) / Intimacy

Today, when I got home, my child had three bruises. My babysitter's excuse? "She hit me first". FML

by Amanda / 03/10/2013 at 12:08pm / Canada / Kids

Today, a technician from my ISP came to my house to replace my router. He asked for a glass of water, one thing led to another, and for some reason I'll never fully understand, we ended up having sex. Looks like porn logic is not so far off the mark after all. FML

by je_regrette_tout / 03/09/2013 at 1:50pm / Intimacy

Today, I went to my daughter's room with clean laundry. I found her lying on her bed with a hand down her pants, totally zoned out and staring blankly at the Justin Bieber poster on her wall. FML

by parental failure / 03/03/2013 at 12:03pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to a paintball match with a group of friends, one of whom brought his dad along. His dad is a weight-lifting, wannabe alpha male fucknut who thinks that chokeslamming opponents is a legitimate close-quarters paintball tactic. My broken shoulder disagrees. FML

by Anonymous / 03/02/2013 at 1:59pm / United Kingdom / Health

Today, as I was about to open a door at school, a student opened it and hit me. As I recovered and was about to open it again, someone else opened the door, hitting me again. Everyone laughed. FML

by Doors Hate Me / 03/02/2013 at 9:09am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, after working out at the gym, I went to grab my bag, and realized that my phone was missing. Panicking, I reached into my pocket, pulled out my phone, and dialed my mom's number to tell her I'd lost it. It took me until the last ring to realize what I was doing. FML

by Anonymous / 03/01/2013 at 2:02am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous