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EvilTurtle

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EvilTurtle

16Liked!

EvilTurtleEvilTurtle
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 27 September 1935 (79 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1004
  • Number of comments : 93
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

About EvilTurtle : Hello‚ I'm from Utah. No I'm not Mormon. Twelve FMLs submitted and none published, (new record?)... Feel free to message me . One more thing...Pitbulls are the best! Oh, one one more thing...The Simpsons are the greatest!

EvilTurtle's page activity

Visits<b>thealaskanyoung</b> - 2 hours ago<b>tournamentdecide</b> - 9 hours ago<b>brytonhansen</b> - 9 hours ago<b>Bbexxy</b> - 10 hours ago<b>Klivefrog</b> - 18 hours ago<b>teapotrevolt</b> - 20 hours ago<b>ksks1234</b> - 21 hours ago<b>PlainWhiteWalls</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 12:30am<b>lochiamochia</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 11:28pm<b>CitricAcid</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 9:57pm<b>Kitty_Kat44</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 9:44pm<b>stuckintime</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 9:24pm<b>happndinmonterey</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 2:27pm<b>awesomepantTamia</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 11:42am<b>stephanyovalle</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 10:39am<b>Wizardo</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 8:29am<b>ana_lee_bonde</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 12:56am<b>str1kepa1n</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 12:24am

Liked!<b>ksks1234</b> - yesterday at 4:43am<b>tournamentdecide</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 5:57am<b>1dvs_bstd</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 1:55am<b>Lagalette</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 6:09am<b>False_Stupidity</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 4:21am<b>SlowDownImaNoob</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 3:51pm<b>Exodiafinder687</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 9:49am<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 3:40am<b>Bbexxy</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 12:25pm<b>Cloco98</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 12:18pm<b>poncho55</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 7:56am<b>iAmPaul</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 4:38pm<b>BBlah</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 12:19pm<b>thebosslikeaboss</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 6:17pm<b>marmaries</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 5:13pm<b>dylanger16</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 9:36pm

EvilTurtle's FML badges

Colonel_Whiskers

You liked our secret mascot. Well done, Sherlock!

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

See all of EvilTurtle's badges

EvilTurtle's favorite FMLs

Today, I sharted during my wedding vows. FML

#21365151
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34610) - you deserved it (4297)

On 02/28/2015 at 9:16am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark (Nordjylland)

Today, I made a joke that my boyfriend was going to end up sending me into premature labor. Later, I went into labor for real. My boyfriend thought I was faking and refused to take me to the hospital. FML

#21342125
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30922) - you deserved it (7408)

On 01/22/2015 at 6:32am - health - by unsuspectingmom - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got stuck in an elevator. I called the fire department and told them where I was. They said they'd be right there and not to panic. It's hour 6. FML

#21332463
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33212) - you deserved it (2039)

On 01/07/2015 at 1:03am - health - by random875 - United States (Maryland)

Today, I slept on the plane ride home and had a scary nightmare. I started screaming in my dream, so loud that it shocked the old lady sitting next to me into screaming as well. The whole plane began laughing as we were both screaming. FML

Today, I sat down for a poop. The toilet seat slid off immediately, taking me with it. I lay on the bathroom floor for several moments stunned, still pooping. FML

#21308801
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32854) - you deserved it (4232)

On 11/30/2014 at 2:32pm - misc - by pooplife - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, I was at the mall with my young daughter. I hate pooping in public but I really had to go so I brought her in with me. Thinking we were alone, I started to go and my daughter yelled, "Good job, mommy, you're using the potty like a big girl!" I then heard laughing. FML

#21283795
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35927) - you deserved it (4425)

On 10/23/2014 at 2:43pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I confiscated a 1st grader's cell phone. It was better than anything I could come close to affording. FML

#21256659
154 comments

Today, I won a gruelling fitness competition, only to find out the mystery prize was a voucher to get 10 free spray tans. I'm black. FML

#21249089
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48290) - you deserved it (3994)

On 08/31/2014 at 2:44pm - misc - by disappointedjamaican - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, I almost got fired from work because a customer complained that I "threw up gang signs" at him. I was blocking the sun from my eyes. FML

#21202372
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41567) - you deserved it (3004)

On 07/08/2014 at 12:26am - work - by MaddyN - United States (Oregon)

Today, I parked my motorcycle in a parking spot. When I came back, my bike had been moved and was laying on its side with a note saying, "Sorry I dropped your motorcycle I was trying to move it forward so I could park my car because there weren't any other spots." FML

#21197788
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48934) - you deserved it (6214)

On 07/03/2014 at 9:30pm - misc - by AJL - United States

Today, I was driving my 7-year-old daughter to school, when out of nowhere a bird smashed into the windshield. Instead of screaming or being traumatized by the gore like me, my daughter started laughing, eventually calling the bird a "stupid bastard". FML

#21190484
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46282) - you deserved it (8337)

On 06/27/2014 at 4:22pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Comunidad Valenciana)

Today, while working in a call center at a university, someone threatened to report me to the President of the University because "I" wouldn't accept their daughter who had a 1.5 GPA and "got accepted into Harvard". I don't even make the decisions, I just answer calls. FML

Today, some alarm, somewhere in my house, is making a low battery noise. I've checked every smoke detector multiple times, and I can't find it. It has been hours. I'm not sure if its still doing it or if the sound has just invaded my brain. FML

Today, an older gentleman came into my work for underwear. I helped him find his size, pulled out a pair of navy ones and he then turned to me and said, "I don't want dark colours because I can't tell if I've shit myself." He then continued looking for all the white pairs. FML

#21163612
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42522) - you deserved it (4454)

On 06/05/2014 at 4:11am - work - by unashamed - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I figured I needed to go on a diet when I discovered I could make farting noises with my neck. FML

#21163432
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36176) - you deserved it (16821)

On 06/05/2014 at 12:11am - health - by fat and alone - United States (Alabama)



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