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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 30 August 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1837
  • Number of comments : 139
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 15 posted

About EvilTurtle : FML stands for Fuck My Life, just in case you didn't know. 😊

EvilTurtle's page activity

Visits<b>saba_ajira</b> - 8 hours ago<b>sarahrosie1996</b> - 10 hours ago<b>chairmanmeow1</b> - 24 hours ago<b>mccrightp</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 6:33pm<b>fardggh</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 4:19pm<b>person52</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 10:42pm<b>sam882</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 9:38pm<b>babeybazooka</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 5:13pm<b>TheGolfGTI</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 1:44pm<b>johnrdz3</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 11:25am<b>LiamakaLiam</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 5:44am<b>Indiantrolledd</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 3:14am<b>classicsparkles</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 4:35pm<b>Lanker</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 4:31pm<b>Histayra</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 4:07pm<b>Exhayle</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 3:58pm<b>Stxsyh</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 3:43pm<b>Mynamewontfi</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 3:29pm

Fucked!<b>StealingWifi</b> - the 07/17/2015 at 12:33am<b>clairesucks</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 5:37am<b>arabian22</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 11:01am<b>feven</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 2:52pm<b>bmcgoldrick1259</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 4:19am<b>MissJennyale</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 11:58pm<b>FitFriday</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 8:43am<b>Rizzie0512</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 9:27am<b>MrsPegg</b> - the 06/09/2015 at 9:19am<b>e_is_for_eli</b> - the 06/08/2015 at 6:08am<b>ManUtdforlife</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 5:22pm<b>rgarz1</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 9:20am<b>MiguelRojas</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 6:19am<b>Epickitty58</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 3:28am<b>beckamoosee</b> - the 06/03/2015 at 7:48am<b>chairmanmeow1</b> - the 06/03/2015 at 7:46am<b>Hop6e</b> - the 06/03/2015 at 6:16am<b>skiddymarker</b> - the 06/03/2015 at 4:23am

EvilTurtle's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

See all of EvilTurtle's badges

EvilTurtle's favorite FMLs

Today, my boss gave me the job of dealing with the guys doing the roofing at our store. His reasoning is that since we're all Hispanic, I'm perfect for the job because "You guys all know each other." FML


I agree, your life sucks (28581) - you deserved it (2459)

On 04/22/2015 at 11:06am - work - by -_- (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was talking with my mother. As we went to say goodbye, she said "I love you". Out of habit of saying I love you to my girlfriend, I said, "Love you too babe". FML

Today, while camping, I was given the sex talk, along with visuals created with marshmallows and a roasting fork. FML


I agree, your life sucks (29329) - you deserved it (3008)

On 03/18/2015 at 11:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my maths class and I had to sit through a slideshow of photos of our teacher's cat. The cat's name is Mr Cat. FML


I agree, your life sucks (235) - you deserved it (26)

On 03/18/2015 at 5:44am - misc - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I finally went to the doctor's about my severe anxiety. I am so used to putting on a happy performance around people that she didn't believe anything was wrong with me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (212) - you deserved it (3286)

On 03/17/2015 at 5:35pm - health - by scared - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my dad turned off our cable. The reason? His favorite character from The Walking Dead died. FML


I agree, your life sucks (32039) - you deserved it (3079)

On 03/16/2015 at 12:37am - misc - by jfields2474 - United States (California)

Today, feeling in need of a self-esteem boost, I took what I thought was a good selfie and I put it on Facebook. Out of 500 friends, the only response I got was a picture of Saddam Hussein with the caption, "This is why I bomb people." FML


I agree, your life sucks (29390) - you deserved it (7307)

On 03/09/2015 at 2:01am - misc - by why they bomb - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, during a family game of "Cards Against Humanity," I had to explain to my mom what queefing is. FML

Today, I sharted during my wedding vows. FML


I agree, your life sucks (37833) - you deserved it (4519)

On 02/28/2015 at 9:16am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark (Nordjylland)

Today, I made a joke that my boyfriend was going to end up sending me into premature labor. Later, I went into labor for real. My boyfriend thought I was faking and refused to take me to the hospital. FML


I agree, your life sucks (32278) - you deserved it (7969)

On 01/22/2015 at 6:32am - health - by unsuspectingmom - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got stuck in an elevator. I called the fire department and told them where I was. They said they'd be right there and not to panic. It's hour 6. FML


I agree, your life sucks (33260) - you deserved it (2048)

On 01/07/2015 at 1:03am - health - by random875 - United States (Maryland)

Today, I slept on the plane ride home and had a scary nightmare. I started screaming in my dream, so loud that it shocked the old lady sitting next to me into screaming as well. The whole plane began laughing as we were both screaming. FML

Today, I sat down for a poop. The toilet seat slid off immediately, taking me with it. I lay on the bathroom floor for several moments stunned, still pooping. FML


I agree, your life sucks (33026) - you deserved it (4245)

On 11/30/2014 at 2:32pm - misc - by pooplife - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, I was at the mall with my young daughter. I hate pooping in public but I really had to go so I brought her in with me. Thinking we were alone, I started to go and my daughter yelled, "Good job, mommy, you're using the potty like a big girl!" I then heard laughing. FML


I agree, your life sucks (37355) - you deserved it (4575)

On 10/23/2014 at 2:43pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend. We were getting into the mood so I tried to eat the popcorn kind of sexually, causing me to choke on the popcorn and throw up. FML


I agree, your life sucks (32402) - you deserved it (16162)

On 09/13/2014 at 2:29am - misc - by Nat - United States (Texas)

FML's blog

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  • It's a new summer, so here's a new feature. OK, that doesn't mean much, but you've got to start somewhere. The idea came from the fact that we get sent a lot of FMLs that touch us, in our heart of…

Friday 24 July 2015

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