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EvilTurtle

Offline (the 07/03/2015 at 4:11am) | Search for a member

EvilTurtle

103Fucked!

EvilTurtleEvilTurtle
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 2 September 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1753
  • Number of comments : 125
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 14 posted

About EvilTurtle : Let's role play I'm a cowboy you be the cow

EvilTurtle's page activity

Visits<b>clairesucks</b> - 15 hours ago<b>Dusty_Cups</b> - 18 hours ago<b>TKPhai</b> - 21 hours ago<b>constipation</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 6:55am<b>arabian22</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 5:01am<b>feven</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 8:52am<b>shells3173</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 12:40am<b>cutycat136</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 3:23pm<b>flyingmind</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 12:23pm<b>marktimemark</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 11:41pm<b>Wolfipoo</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 9:56pm<b>MissJennyale</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 6:39pm<b>skcmcpk</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 5:18pm<b>Mons</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 2:46am<b>bmcgoldrick1259</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 10:19pm<b>18emikot</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 1:49pm<b>fuckobamaintheas</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 12:21pm<b>seeoseek</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 8:23am

Fucked!<b>clairesucks</b> - 9 hours ago<b>arabian22</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 11:01am<b>feven</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 2:52pm<b>bmcgoldrick1259</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 4:19am<b>MissJennyale</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 11:58pm<b>FitFriday</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 8:43am<b>Rizzie0512</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 9:27am<b>MrsPegg</b> - the 06/09/2015 at 9:19am<b>e_is_for_eli</b> - the 06/08/2015 at 6:08am<b>ManUtdforlife</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 5:22pm<b>rgarz1</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 9:20am<b>MiguelRojas</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 6:19am<b>Epickitty58</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 3:28am<b>beckamoosee</b> - the 06/03/2015 at 7:48am<b>chairmanmeow1</b> - the 06/03/2015 at 7:46am<b>Hop6e</b> - the 06/03/2015 at 6:16am<b>skiddymarker</b> - the 06/03/2015 at 4:23am<b>Monday_funday</b> - the 06/02/2015 at 12:29pm

EvilTurtle's FML badges

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of EvilTurtle's badges

EvilTurtle's favorite FMLs

Today, my boss gave me the job of dealing with the guys doing the roofing at our store. His reasoning is that since we're all Hispanic, I'm perfect for the job because "You guys all know each other." FML

#21397904
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28570) - you deserved it (2458)

On 04/22/2015 at 11:06am - work - by -_- (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was talking with my mother. As we went to say goodbye, she said "I love you". Out of habit of saying I love you to my girlfriend, I said, "Love you too babe". FML

Today, while camping, I was given the sex talk, along with visuals created with marshmallows and a roasting fork. FML

#21377041
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29281) - you deserved it (3000)

On 03/18/2015 at 11:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my maths class and I had to sit through a slideshow of photos of our teacher's cat. The cat's name is Mr Cat. FML

#21376941
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (218) - you deserved it (26)

On 03/18/2015 at 5:44am - misc - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I finally went to the doctor's about my severe anxiety. I am so used to putting on a happy performance around people that she didn't believe anything was wrong with me. FML

#21376536
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (203) - you deserved it (3281)

On 03/17/2015 at 5:35pm - health - by scared - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my dad turned off our cable. The reason? His favorite character from The Walking Dead died. FML

#21375425
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32020) - you deserved it (3078)

On 03/16/2015 at 12:37am - misc - by jfields2474 - United States (California)

Today, feeling in need of a self-esteem boost, I took what I thought was a good selfie and I put it on Facebook. Out of 500 friends, the only response I got was a picture of Saddam Hussein with the caption, "This is why I bomb people." FML

#21370942
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29373) - you deserved it (7304)

On 03/09/2015 at 2:01am - misc - by why they bomb - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, during a family game of "Cards Against Humanity," I had to explain to my mom what queefing is. FML

Today, I sharted during my wedding vows. FML

#21365151
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37819) - you deserved it (4517)

On 02/28/2015 at 9:16am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark (Nordjylland)

Today, I made a joke that my boyfriend was going to end up sending me into premature labor. Later, I went into labor for real. My boyfriend thought I was faking and refused to take me to the hospital. FML

#21342125
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31020) - you deserved it (7425)

On 01/22/2015 at 6:32am - health - by unsuspectingmom - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got stuck in an elevator. I called the fire department and told them where I was. They said they'd be right there and not to panic. It's hour 6. FML

#21332463
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33251) - you deserved it (2046)

On 01/07/2015 at 1:03am - health - by random875 - United States (Maryland)

Today, I slept on the plane ride home and had a scary nightmare. I started screaming in my dream, so loud that it shocked the old lady sitting next to me into screaming as well. The whole plane began laughing as we were both screaming. FML

Today, I sat down for a poop. The toilet seat slid off immediately, taking me with it. I lay on the bathroom floor for several moments stunned, still pooping. FML

#21308801
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33006) - you deserved it (4245)

On 11/30/2014 at 2:32pm - misc - by pooplife - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, I was at the mall with my young daughter. I hate pooping in public but I really had to go so I brought her in with me. Thinking we were alone, I started to go and my daughter yelled, "Good job, mommy, you're using the potty like a big girl!" I then heard laughing. FML

#21283795
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37336) - you deserved it (4574)

On 10/23/2014 at 2:43pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend. We were getting into the mood so I tried to eat the popcorn kind of sexually, causing me to choke on the popcorn and throw up. FML

#21257293
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32388) - you deserved it (16158)

On 09/13/2014 at 2:29am - misc - by Nat - United States (Texas)



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