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EvilDolly

Offline (the 04/14/2015 at 11:29pm) | Search for a member

EvilDolly

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 3348
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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EvilDolly's favorite FMLs

Today, my son got a beating. Apparently, he went to a club, waited until he saw a couple of girls pulling a duckface for a photo, then rushed over and threw pieces of bread at them. Their boyfriends, not too surprisingly, didn't appreciate this. I had to drive the idiot home from the hospital. FML

#21190541
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43179) - you deserved it (6150)

On 06/27/2014 at 5:15pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my friends thought it would be funny to slip a condom under my pillow at boot camp. The staff found out, I got bitched out for 30 minutes straight, and now I have to put a condom on the grip of any rifle I'm issued for a week. My new callsign is "Love Glove". FML

#21183341
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44689) - you deserved it (4628)

On 06/21/2014 at 5:42pm - misc - by LoveGlove (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my laziness reached an all-time high. I had a dream that I was at school and had spilled all the contents of my backpack onto the floor. I then purposely shook myself out of my sleep to avoid cleaning up the mess in my dream. FML

#21176688
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44171) - you deserved it (9951)

On 06/16/2014 at 12:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, my daughter admitted why her grades, which are usually straight A's, have been slipping the past few weeks. Turns out she has been deliberately failing tests to avoid becoming valedictorian, so she won't have to deliver a speech at graduation. FML

#21148414
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49305) - you deserved it (6078)

On 05/22/2014 at 3:24pm - kids - by stillaproudfather (man) - United States

Today, my girlfriend got the brilliant idea of trying out a sex tip dreamed up by one of the glorified trolls at Cosmo. I think my balls are broken beyond repair. FML

#21127421
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47381) - you deserved it (6768)

On 04/30/2014 at 7:40pm - intimacy - by FMBs (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, I finally decided to do something productive and clean my room. When I went to pick up the first thing off my floor I hit my head on my desk and gave myself a concussion. FML

#21123165
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35315) - you deserved it (6375)

On 04/26/2014 at 12:22am - misc - by vee2013 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my house was robbed. My two 70-pound German Shepherds obeyed me when I told them to attack. They also obeyed the robber when he said, "Sit". FML

#21113538
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54684) - you deserved it (4945)

On 04/15/2014 at 8:08am - animals - by stupiddog (man) - United States (California)

Today, my coworker tried to convince my boss that I'm not human. Her examples of how I'm influenced by demons included how I don't wear a jacket in the winter, and that I once got a nosebleed from sneezing. My boss thinks she's hilarious and is playing along. FML

#21111822
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39809) - you deserved it (3890)

On 04/13/2014 at 10:51am - work - by worker666 (woman) - United States

Today, I realized that my boyfriend is so obsessed with tickling me that my body has developed a conditioned response. Now I flinch every time he touches me, no matter what we're doing. FML

#21111720
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42709) - you deserved it (4186)

On 04/13/2014 at 5:33am - love - by Ticklish - United States (Iowa)

Today, I went out drinking with my tattoo artist brother-in-law. I was so wasted that I agreed to let him try working on me. I woke up with a tattoo of an animated marijuana plant smoking a cigarette. This'll look just great when I'm defending clients in court. FML

#21107817
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25307) - you deserved it (43850)

On 04/08/2014 at 6:04pm - misc - by not a dumbass pothead (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, while showering, I pulled on my white exfoliating gloves ready to wash my face. As I was about to use them, a dark stain caught my eye so I sniffed the mark only to discover it was poo. After further investigation, I find out my younger sister had been wearing them and 'experimenting'. FML

#21104331
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42730) - you deserved it (4160)

On 04/04/2014 at 10:17am - kids - by AshleyP - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend and I were snuggling and we placed our hands together, palm to palm. I can bend the tips of my fingers over hers, which apparently surprised her because she commented, "Huh, so big hands AREN'T related to penis size." FML

#21101616
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57271) - you deserved it (7380)

On 04/01/2014 at 2:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, while on patrol with my partner, we came across a guy getting a beat-down on the sidewalk. After restraining the attacker, we helped the victim to his feet, only for him to spit at us and call us "goddamn pigs". You're welcome, sir. FML

#21101111
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41119) - you deserved it (4046)

On 03/31/2014 at 4:07pm - work - by dunno why we bother (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, no matter how many toys and teddies she has, and no matter how much I punish her, I am most likely never going to be able to break my 10-week-old puppy's habit of stealing my underwear. She doesn't eat them or even chew on them. She steals them to sleep with. FML

#21096727
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38934) - you deserved it (5223)

On 03/26/2014 at 4:45am - animals - by Punphmelch (woman) - Australia (South Australia)



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