About Ev3d11 : I own an auto repair shop and like to restore vehicles.
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Ev3d11's favorite FMLs
Today, while driving, a spider crawled onto my gearstick. Not being afraid of them, I casually flicked it off. Onto the person sitting next to me. The person evaluating me for my driving test at the time, who happened to be arachnophobic. FML
by Arachnofail / 04/08/2016 at 12:16am / Miscellaneous
Today, I heard a noise outside in the middle of the night, so I went out for a look. I'm also pregnant and can't stop farting. I get 2 steps outside and accidentally let a huge one rip, then, from the shadows I hear "Oh my god!" and then running in the opposite direction. I farted away a prowler. FML
by Gassy / 09/21/2015 at 10:45am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
by Oihana / 07/31/2015 at 11:30pm / United States (North Carolina) / Kids
by nodoggforme / 01/30/2015 at 7:13pm / United States (Oregon) / Love
Today, I went into an exam room to do a check-up on one of my patients. I told the little girl's mother that she needed her flu shots. When the girl heard this, she took an apple out of her pocket and threw it at me. FML
by jazzie7719 / 09/28/2014 at 3:26pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Health
by sabz21 / 01/26/2014 at 11:37pm / United States (Connecticut) / Work
Today, a man started a deep conversation with me at the bus stop about life, death, and the miracles of things we take for granted every day. I was really enjoying it until he looked at his watch and said, "Oh shit, mushrooms make me lose track of time!" and ran off into the night. FML
by whatjusthappened / 12/20/2013 at 3:45am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was hanging out with some friends, and I had to take a dump. After I was done, I realized there was no more toilet paper, so I asked my friends to get me some. They threw in duct tape, sandpaper, and saran wrap, and told me to make a decision. FML
by Anonymous / 04/22/2013 at 2:33pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by mike h / 08/10/2012 at 12:37am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work
by kalikanna / 07/07/2012 at 2:10am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
by Taylor Easley / 03/17/2012 at 12:53am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my son told me he was afraid of monsters under his bed. When I poked my head under to show him nothing was there, the family cat sprang out and clawed me in the face. Now I have a gash on my chin, and my son refuses to go anywhere near his bed. FML
by Anonymous / 11/24/2011 at 12:07pm / United States (New York) / Kids
by THOMASisMYname / 07/06/2011 at 1:06pm / Canada (Ontario) / Transportation
Today, while getting ready for a friend's wedding, I was curling my eyelashes. My cat decided to jump onto the towel rod. As I went to catch her, I ripped all the eyelashes out of one eye. I called my boyfriend crying. When he saw me, he laughed and said, "You look really surprised in that eye." FML
by lashless / 05/22/2010 at 4:32pm / United States (Colorado) / Animals
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was fired from my job because I, in my bosses words, "Abided by company policy to such an…