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Epikouros

Offline (the 09/17/2014 at 11:56am) | Search for a member

Epikouros

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 25 January 1971 (44 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 21135
  • Number of comments : 1196
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 21 posted

About Epikouros : Today, I noticed my ear-raping Rebecca Black parody on Youtube has more views than all of my intellectual blog posts since 2004 put together. FML

That's when I stopped blogging and started hanging out on FML.

My favorite commenters are NoorFML, DocBastard, perdix, DjeePee, nerdsgetmehot, Baustigt, Enslaved, The_A_Teen, ElenasBrazilian and Doortje.

Epikouros's page activity

Visits<b>ThirteenThirteen</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 5:20am<b>skiddymarker</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 5:34pm<b>mzrayray</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 9:37am<b>cdncw</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 12:05pm<b>SeanLewis</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 9:54am<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 3:49pm<b>Vanlendauman</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 4:20pm<b>missmorggan</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 2:06pm<b>LoganStar4</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 7:43pm<b>Soninuva</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 2:59am<b>bloodwraith96</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 4:43am<b>Welshite</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 10:02pm<b>cmonger</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 9:47am<b>sammy18f</b> - the 01/27/2015 at 4:12pm<b>RageWolf16</b> - the 12/28/2014 at 5:42pm<b>Mrhammer404</b> - the 12/25/2014 at 4:15pm<b>AHotCupOfCoffee</b> - the 12/06/2014 at 12:34am<b>TheCutestLizard</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 7:18am

Epikouros's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

See all of Epikouros's badges

Epikouros's favorite FMLs

Today, I was driving home, talking to my dad on the phone about losing my job. A man kept honking at me, I remarked to my dad how some people on the road are just assholes for no reason. I later realized I had left my laptop on my roof, and it flew onto the freeway. The man was signaling me. FML

Today, I had to give a presentation about Adolf Hitler. I wanted to point out he was a very good speaker, and could incite a crowd. Instead, what came out was 'Hitler's oral skills made everyone go wild with excitement" FML

#2508726
300 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37201) - you deserved it (62587)

On 06/01/2009 at 7:12pm - misc - by Cail (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, while shopping in the FML store I bought the "Retro Sport Tee," I didn't notice you are supposed to put your own "FML" on the shirt. Mine says "Today, Your Text Here. FML." FML

#2459150
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23105) - you deserved it (76079)

On 05/31/2009 at 8:03am - misc - by deucelututi - United States (New York)

Today, I was partnered with this really sexy guy for an audition. He says, "Am I really stuck with you? I can't even stand being seen with you in public!" I start cursing him out really loud, but then I realize that he's only reading the script. Everyone was staring, and he called me a crazy bitch. FML

#2445222
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11383) - you deserved it (63603)

On 05/30/2009 at 9:13pm - misc - by jazzyfizzle (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I turned 30 years old. My dad, the only living relative I have, gave me a call. Not to wish me a happy birthday, but to tell me about "a hot piece of ass" he nailed at the senior center last night. FML

#2429850
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54367) - you deserved it (2753)

On 05/30/2009 at 11:18am - misc - by willieboom (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was looking at the skeleton of a human male that we have in out biology classroom. I picked up the hand to examine the bones in the finger, and had the sudden realization that this is the only time that I have held hands with a boy. I'm a junior in college. FML

#2375758
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53727) - you deserved it (7986)

On 05/28/2009 at 3:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I wanted revenge on the rabbit who ate my garden's plants. When he returned, he was standing next to my brand new above-ground swimming pool. I pull out my 22. rifle and shot at it, but the bullet missed and popped a hole in my pool. 15,000 gallons of water flooded my basement. FML

#2321503
854 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37006) - you deserved it (265896)

On 05/26/2009 at 8:22pm - misc - by Jerrrr (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was at a mall. A woman stopped by me, said slowly and loudly, in Spanish "baño?" Knowing a bit of Spanish, I nodded and pointed the restrooms out for her. She then mutters about "dang Mexicans and their inability to speak English". I'm not even Latina. I'm Irish-American. FML

#2308873
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64508) - you deserved it (3759)

On 05/26/2009 at 1:45pm - misc - by Anon (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I went to the store to buy groceries. I didn't care how I looked, so I wore an old shirt that said, "Thousands of my potential children died on your daughter's face last night." I ran into my girlfriend's parents at the store. FML

#2244608
455 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42259) - you deserved it (145392)

On 05/24/2009 at 3:50pm - misc - by helloitsbrian6969 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got a phone call from a number I didn't recognize. It was a man with a speech impediment, and I began imitating him. He was the manager of a store I applied at. He wanted to arrange an interview. FML

#2237566
427 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13040) - you deserved it (221401)

On 05/24/2009 at 10:50am - work - by oopsie (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, on the way to an exam I saw a car accident happen. I stopped, helped the woman who was injured and waited for the paramedics. I was too late at school, the teacher didn't buy my excuse and I failed the exam. It was an examination of my first aid skills. FML

#2074283
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73197) - you deserved it (3974)

On 05/19/2009 at 5:21am - misc - by Sam (man) - Belgium (Oost-Vlaanderen)

Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserted dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML

#2026481
439 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33741) - you deserved it (146664)

On 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm - animals - by sucks (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was coaching a little league soccer game. I was telling one of my players to go cover another kid. I said "go cover the little yellow kid!" because he happened to be wearing a yellow shirt. He also happened to be Asian. I then got death stares from his family members. FML

#2009898
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58066) - you deserved it (21692)

On 05/17/2009 at 9:48am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I woke up to a hand rubbing my very erect penis, and a woman's peppermint breath in my ear. "Mom?" I called out instinctively, recalling how she always smells like peppermint. The hand stopped rubbing, and I turned to face my very disgusted looking girlfriend of three years. FML

#2005903
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28987) - you deserved it (86249)

On 05/17/2009 at 2:42am - intimacy - by Ohshit (man) - United States (Texas)



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