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Epikouros

Offline (the 09/17/2014 at 11:56am) | Search for a member

Epikouros

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 25 January 1971 (44 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 21081
  • Number of comments : 1196
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 21 posted

About Epikouros : Today, I noticed my ear-raping Rebecca Black parody on Youtube has more views than all of my intellectual blog posts since 2004 put together. FML

That's when I stopped blogging and started hanging out on FML.

My favorite commenters are NoorFML, DocBastard, perdix, DjeePee, nerdsgetmehot, Baustigt, Enslaved, The_A_Teen, ElenasBrazilian and Doortje.

Epikouros's page activity

Visits<b>ThirteenThirteen</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 5:20am<b>skiddymarker</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 5:34pm<b>mzrayray</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 9:37am<b>cdncw</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 12:05pm<b>SeanLewis</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 9:54am<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 3:49pm<b>Vanlendauman</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 4:20pm<b>missmorggan</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 2:06pm<b>LoganStar4</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 7:43pm<b>Soninuva</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 2:59am<b>bloodwraith96</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 4:43am<b>Welshite</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 10:02pm<b>cmonger</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 9:47am<b>sammy18f</b> - the 01/27/2015 at 4:12pm<b>RageWolf16</b> - the 12/28/2014 at 5:42pm<b>Mrhammer404</b> - the 12/25/2014 at 4:15pm<b>AHotCupOfCoffee</b> - the 12/06/2014 at 12:34am<b>TheCutestLizard</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 7:18am

Epikouros's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

See all of Epikouros's badges

Epikouros's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend of a year broke up with me because I didn't fight some guy that started hitting her right in front of me... In a dream. She was totally serious. FML

#5369029
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58988) - you deserved it (3583)

On 09/20/2009 at 9:21am - love - by dreamdude (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I saw a YouTube video of a guy scratching a knife and a screwdriver on his iPod, and at the end he showed how there were no scratches and the screen was still clean. I took my iPod touch and did the same with a knife. It didn't work. FML

#5355612
486 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21603) - you deserved it (251419)

On 09/19/2009 at 5:36pm - misc - by MgmEboy (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I pulled someone over for speeding. He was only 10 over the speed limit so I gave him an $84 fine. It turns out he is a workplace Occupational Health and Safety officer and because I wasn't wearing my high visibilty vest while standing on the side of the road he gave me a $250 fine. FML

#5309221
378 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23527) - you deserved it (80054)

On 09/17/2009 at 6:57am - work - by auscop (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, while my girlfriend and I were getting it on, she suddenly stopped and yelled "STOP!". I stopped, scared I'd hurt her. She then yelled "HAMMER TIME!" and started to dance. We never finished. FML

#5286193
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28659) - you deserved it (5094)

On 09/16/2009 at 1:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, while talking online with my boyfriend, the conversation turns sexual. He stops responding but I continue with the conversation. Then I get a response: "this is his sister. He fell asleep and I need the computer. I'll tell him you said goodnight, but not that other stuff". FML

#5266141
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24489) - you deserved it (7353)

On 09/15/2009 at 12:44am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I had an art class with my girlfriend. The teacher assigned "anti-cards", or cards for unusual or bad occasions. My girlfriend decided to make a "break-up" card, and I helped her write the poem inside it. After class, she gave it to me. FML

#5251989
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42488) - you deserved it (6072)

On 09/14/2009 at 2:54pm - love - by UnluckyArtist (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I realized that when my new roommate said we could both use the condoms he bought, he didn't mean separately. FML

#5228952
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39244) - you deserved it (4015)

On 09/13/2009 at 1:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I was eating MandMs on a chair when I dropped one and it fell under my crotch. My mom came in to see my hand on my crotch and me muttering, "Where is that little bastard?" FML

#5187635
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59564) - you deserved it (15326)

On 09/11/2009 at 2:26pm - misc - by awilson (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while at my parent's house I decided to take a shower. I had to use my sister's bathroom and once out, grabbed a comb from her cupboard to brush my hair. I then noticed the clumps of hair on my shoulders. It's a razor comb on one side, regular on the other. I used the wrong side. FML

#5174930
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30835) - you deserved it (16788)

On 09/10/2009 at 8:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my daughter used the kids potty chair on her own for the first time. Bad: The bucket was not in it so poo hit the floor. Good: she tried to clean it... Bad: with her socks. Good: she decided to clean the socks. Bad: she used the wall. Good: she finally called dad. FML

#5164209
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45620) - you deserved it (4305)

On 09/10/2009 at 3:51am - kids - by Udxero (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up to my 8 month old son happy as can be. I could hear him laughing over the monitor. When I walked into the room, he had somehow got his diaper off and was holding onto his new found penis. He thought it was hysterical when it went off and shot urine everywhere. FML

#5149923
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38904) - you deserved it (4419)

On 09/09/2009 at 3:33pm - kids - by WOCOACH (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was at a party with my boyfriend. There were some tents set up out the back so we decided to go in one. When we came out we got weird looks. It turns out my friend had turned on some lights behind the tent, showing a huge silhouette of me giving head. FML

#5102610
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9159) - you deserved it (30231)

On 09/07/2009 at 10:25am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was driving into a parking lot with some friends. I carelessly passed a sign when my friend said, "Wait what did that sign say?" I backed up to read it and guess what it said: "Severe Tire Damage. Do Not Back Up." Now all 4 of my tires are slashed. FML

#5006277
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16198) - you deserved it (39905)

On 09/02/2009 at 8:18pm - misc - by ooops (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I decided to lay out topless in my fenced-in backyard. For about an hour, everything was going great until I sneezed and my creepy, middle-aged neighbor said "bless you". From my bushes. FML

#4998689
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48030) - you deserved it (16002)

On 09/02/2009 at 1:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, on the train on the way to my mother's house, I was playing Mariokart with my son. He got a 'bomb' item, and yelled quite loudly, "I have a bomb!". Panic ensued. We got thrown off the train at the next stop. FML

#4874486
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47311) - you deserved it (6355)

On 08/28/2009 at 12:41am - kids - by mariokarter (woman) - United Kingdom (London)



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