About Epickitty58 : My talents include not shaving my legs, Internet stalking, and eating. Those that speak to me may experience my gayness and feminism. Please approach cautiously.
Epickitty58's FML badges
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
The Thumb returns
You have thumbed 5000 comments.
You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.
Epickitty58's favorite FMLs
by anony / 05/24/2016 at 8:57am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Love
Today, my best friend decided to make some life changes. He got a new job, a new car, and asked me to move out of our apartment. We're 1,500 miles away from my hometown. I only moved all the way out here to live with him in the first place because he asked me to. FML
by BrokenAndHurt / 05/24/2016 at 8:28am / United States (New Hampshire) / Miscellaneous
Today, my friend, who I'm moving in with, flew up to drive from Pennsylvania to Texas, where she lives, with me. I went to the airport to pick her up and we discovered she accidentally flew to the wrong airport. On the other side of the state. I'm driving through the night to rescue her. FML
by LongDriveNoSleep / 05/24/2016 at 6:38am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, I took my 9-year-old sister to an ice cream shop. There we met a boy about her age, who started a conversation with her, told her she was pretty and they ended up exchanging numbers. I'm 24 and so far I've never succeeded at getting a girl's number like this. FML
by Anonymous / 05/24/2016 at 6:30am / Ukraine / Love
Today, an old guy with a cane got up in my face for "mocking" the way he walked. In retrospect, I guess it is pretty offensive for me to have had knee surgery and still be recovering from it. My apologies. FML
by Anonymous / 03/23/2016 at 12:06pm / United States (Nebraska) / Health
by Anonymous / 03/23/2016 at 10:36am / United States (Virginia) / Health
by gabimk23 / 03/23/2016 at 9:54am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals
Today, my stepmother started talking to me after a month of the silent treatment. When I asked her what I had done wrong, she replied, "Nothing, but do you know that feeling when you look at someone and you just want to choke them?" FML
by Stepmotherfucker / 03/23/2016 at 2:32am / Ukraine / Miscellaneous
Today, I was driving to work and I got a text from my girlfriend. She said she was breaking up with me. I was a little heartbroken, but I had to get on with my day. I got to work and my boss fired me. Turns out, my boss and girlfriend have been having an affair and she told him to fire me. FML
by Anonymous / 03/22/2016 at 9:36pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, while vacationing, a small boy asked to see the baby I was holding, wrapped in a blanket. I showed him, and his face reflexively scrunched up. The boy's mother came and apologized to me. Her face scrunched up too. FML
by NotAnUglyBaby / 03/22/2016 at 6:40pm / Mexico (Veracruz-Llave) / Holidays
by pancaketits / 03/22/2016 at 11:33am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, I found out about my sister's insanely detailed plan to abduct my one-year-old son and raise him as her own on another continent. All my mom did was tell me not to worry because she can't afford to move that far away. FML
by Dnamei / 03/22/2016 at 10:17am / Belgium / Miscellaneous
Today, my neighbors in the apartment above me yet again had a loud fight, well past midnight while I was trying to sleep. I stood on my bed and pounded on the ceiling to shut them up. And now I'll have to explain the two fist-shaped holes in the ceiling to my landlord. FML
by soon to have a fist shaped hole in my ass / 01/23/2016 at 2:49am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 01/23/2016 at 12:51am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I woke up after a two-day drive to go to my cousin's wedding. The view is beautiful, there's mountains everywhere, and my new backless dress is gorgeous. Too bad the hotel has bed bugs and my whole body is entirely covered in bright red bumps. FML
by wedding leper / 01/23/2016 at 12:25am / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I made heart shaped cookies for my girlfriend. My mom's reaction? "They look like dicks." FML Today, two months after moving up to Scotland to be with my fiancé, he broke up with me because he… Today, my boyfriend kept trying to convince me to do anal with him. After denying him several times…