Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Epickiller

Offline (12 minutes ago) | Search for a member

Epickiller

4Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1766
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Epickiller : Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt.
Enjoy the journey. Not just the destination.
Life is change, growth is an option.
Life is too short to worry about the small stuff. Stress is bad for the heart.
Life is a TV show and you're the viewer, so relax and enjoy the program.

Epickiller's page activity

Visits<b>JessMac9000</b> - 7 hours ago<b>prajju99</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 10:46pm<b>melisssa87</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 7:48pm<b>BananaCoconutty</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 11:46am<b>sam882</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 12:27am<b>tonester456</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 5:11pm<b>saffy66</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 4:56pm<b>LyonDetreny</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 10:32am<b>wildnargles</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 3:34am<b>irish_lad</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 1:52pm<b>Eliseopwns</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 12:10pm<b>PeppermintPenny</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 4:33pm<b>cutycat136</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 8:05pm<b>sstahpp</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 11:20am<b>kibster9</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 11:17pm<b>arasx0</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 7:57am<b>origamidragon</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 2:08am<b>Leenah_93</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 4:20pm

Fucked!<b>saffy66</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 4:48pm<b>irish_lad</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 7:52pm<b>Eliseopwns</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 6:10pm

Epickiller's FML badges

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of Epickiller's badges

Epickiller's favorite FMLs

Today, while serving a customer, she told me: "God made you a working class citizen so you could serve! If God wanted you to go to college, he would have made sure you were able to go!" FML

Today, my cat has decided she can't eat unless I'm right there with her, so when she gets hungry she finds me and howls until I follow her to her food dish. She likes to eat pretty frequently, and I'm already getting a headache. FML

Today, was my first experience having sex. It was also my first experience with a condom breaking. FML

#21413990
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25942) - you deserved it (3261)

On 05/22/2015 at 12:27pm - intimacy - by Vexatious - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I found out my mom put breast milk in my cereal until I was 7 years old. FML

#21413959
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26570) - you deserved it (2431)

On 05/22/2015 at 11:17am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend of a week showed me her talent: shooting milk out of her vagina across the room. Goodbye dairy products. FML

#21413854
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24048) - you deserved it (2782)

On 05/22/2015 at 2:55am - intimacy - by zzarzzur (man) - United States (California)

Today, after being a resident DJ at a local club for over 4 years, I got fired. Not because I'm bad at what I do, but because my boss thinks I'm not 'having fun like the other DJs'. And by 'having fun' he means that I don't drink enough. I got fired for not being an alcoholic. FML

#21413333
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26336) - you deserved it (1681)

On 05/20/2015 at 11:56pm - work - by SFBEL - Belgium (Vlaams-Brabant)

Today, my grandmother yelled at me for driving erratically. I was "driving" in a video game. FML

Today, my brother babysat for me. He invited his girlfriend around without me knowing, and they were all playing hide and seek together. While he and his girl were hiding, they decided to have a quickie. My three year old found them and saw everything. She won't stop copying their sex noises. FML

#21412889
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30886) - you deserved it (2490)

On 05/20/2015 at 4:45am - intimacy - by wtf bro (man) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)

Today, after taking my crush to the train station late at night, I sat in a local park alone with my thoughts for a while. Two cops appeared out of nowhere and started searching me for drugs and weapons, asking me questions for a good 30 minutes. Not the kind of action I expected tonight. FML

#21412638
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24021) - you deserved it (2089)

On 05/19/2015 at 4:49pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Baden-Wurttemberg)

Today, I was fired for not asking a senior citizen for proof that he was over 21 and legally allowed to purchase alcohol. When I told my manager he was clearly over 21, he replied, "But what if he WASN'T?" FML

#21412440
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28496) - you deserved it (3041)

On 05/19/2015 at 7:43am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I saw a real, erect penis for the first time. My brother's, while he was jerking off. He doesn't know I saw, because he was holding a pair of panties over his face with his other hand. I'm trying like hell to act like I'm not mentally scarred. FML

#21411971
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29452) - you deserved it (2867)

On 05/18/2015 at 12:58pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, I surprised my 7 and 1.5 year old girls with a princess dinner. I quickly realized it was a scam when the "princesses" arrived looking more suited to a bachelor party. I was able to quickly get the girls out, but have spent the evening explaining why Pocahontas was heavily tattooed. FML

Today, I bought an expensive video game and decided to show it off and post a photo of it on Instagram. When I got home to play it, it rejected my activation key. I then realised it was showing in the Instagram post. FML

#21411390
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11738) - you deserved it (40831)

On 05/17/2015 at 9:09am - misc - by PISSED OFF - Australia

Today, after getting my dream job and quitting old one, I was told my position is strictly "experimental" and will only last 2 months. FML

#21411308
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28633) - you deserved it (3108)

On 05/17/2015 at 2:31am - work - by fuckkkkk - United States (California)

Today, I went to a domestic violence counseling group. I was the only male there, and I explained that my girlfriend punches me in the face in front of my kids. Everyone started laughing. FML



FML's blog

  • JT's illustrated FML
  • Hello everybody, how's it going? This week we're looking at the delicate art of getting along with your neighbours. If you've ever lived in an apartment building, you'll know that having people live…

Friday 22 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: