Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Epickiller

Offline (4 hours ago) | Search for a member

Epickiller

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 906
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Epickiller : Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt.
Enjoy the journey. Not just the destination.
Life is change, growth is an option.
Life is too short to worry about the small stuff. Stress is bad for the heart.
Life is a TV show and you're the viewer, so relax and enjoy the program.

Epickiller's page activity

Visits<b>sammybunny40</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 10:58pm<b>kjax</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 11:24pm<b>Wheatbreadman</b> - the 02/05/2015 at 9:50am<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 01/20/2015 at 1:43am<b>awesomepantTamia</b> - the 12/29/2014 at 6:35pm<b>stuckintime</b> - the 12/27/2014 at 4:17pm<b>Wolfparable</b> - the 12/24/2014 at 10:15am<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 11:31pm<b>RamboMartini</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 12:00pm<b>AppleJacksBrony</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 11:44pm<b>ctothej</b> - the 06/19/2013 at 1:55pm

Liked!<b>kjax</b> - the 02/05/2015 at 10:35pm

Epickiller's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of Epickiller's badges

Epickiller's favorite FMLs

Today, my 3-year-old daughter came along, pointing a finger at me. I pretended to eat it by putting it in my mouth. She then said to me with disgust, "Why are you eating my booger?" Ah, that explains the saltiness… FML

#21363801
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19669) - you deserved it (6181) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/26/2015 at 2:35am - love - by ManchotDesAndes - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was given my yearly evaluation as a cake decorator at Walmart. They said I "was easily the best decorator there" and "the bakery has definitely improved since I got there." In the same conversation they put "unsatisfactory" on my evaluation and denied my raise. FML

Today, I had a talk with my daughter about how I hope her first boyfriend is a special one because 'spending the night' with a boy is a big deal. She replied with a giggle, "Mom, I lost my virginity in a parking lot three years ago!" FML

#21362728
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26037) - you deserved it (5408)

On 02/24/2015 at 5:25pm - intimacy - by Like mother like daughter (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, away at college, I called my grandmother to hear how she was doing after her knee surgery. She ended up talking about Hooters and how I should work there because of my "rare body". When I mentioned I've been studying computer science, earning a 3.8 GPA, she replied, "But you're a girl." FML

#21361518
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31095) - you deserved it (2720)

On 02/23/2015 at 2:45am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I came home from work to find that my girlfriend had sold all of my N64 and Atari games and both the consoles and bought me a PS4 with the money. While I was standing there in shock, she kissed me on the cheek and said, "I know, I'm the greatest." FML

#21361122
447 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40309) - you deserved it (3786)

On 02/22/2015 at 3:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my caring way too much about proper grammar got out of hand when I corrected my girlfriend during a talk about her dying grandmother. FML

#21353788
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15706) - you deserved it (33687)

On 02/10/2015 at 11:58pm - misc - by randomdude3890 - United States (Nebraska)

Today, while shopping with my 6-year-old daughter, she said, "Mommy, remember you wanna get duck tape!" A middle-aged guy nearby scoffed and told her: "DUCT, not DUCK. Dumb cunt." I ended up having to drive my bawling daughter home with no shopping. FML

#21352119
290 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42963) - you deserved it (2974)

On 02/08/2015 at 2:16pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, a creepy old guy kept hitting on me in line at Subway. I got scared and told him to back off because my dad was waiting for me outside. He replied that he wouldn't object to a three-way. FML

#21352037
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33786) - you deserved it (2285)

On 02/08/2015 at 11:05am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I had my first threesome. It was me, my wonderful girlfriend, and her shithead cat after he decided my balls were a bag of catnip and just had to play with. Things ended pretty fast. FML

#21351917
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30760) - you deserved it (3057)

On 02/08/2015 at 3:35am - animals - by OnlyAvailableID - Australia

Today, hours after being turned down for sex, I woke up to my boyfriend sitting at the computer, jacking off to a picture of my deceased mom. FML

#21351381
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45591) - you deserved it (3755)

On 02/07/2015 at 6:51am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had a big figure skating competition. Many of the girls before me fell or did not execute their jumps correctly. Me? I skated a flawless program. I was placed last because they said I didn't push myself hard enough to the point of falling. FML

#21351174
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40050) - you deserved it (2535)

On 02/06/2015 at 9:35pm - misc - by depressedskatergirl - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my girlfriend tried to justify having a one night stand with some other guy, with the words, "I'm on my period, okay?!" She acted like I was crazy when I asked how the fuck that made any sense. FML

#21350975
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32223) - you deserved it (2091)

On 02/06/2015 at 3:10pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my 97-pound pitbull wagged and chased his tail while I was being mugged. FML

#21350749
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33288) - you deserved it (3151)

On 02/06/2015 at 2:06am - animals - by ZAnon - United States (Texas)

Today, my fiancée told me about her new diet. Apparently, she is only going to drink water and tan in a tanning bed so she can photosynthesise. She thinks this will help her lose weight, since she doesn't have to eat anything. I'm dating a dumbass. FML

Today, at work, I sneezed so hard that I hit my head on my cash register. A second later, I heard roaring laughter from the security room, followed by someone saying to play it back. I'd almost convinced myself it wasn't about me, when one of the guys came out and gave me a thumb up. FML

#21349710
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33558) - you deserved it (2970)

On 02/04/2015 at 2:28pm - work - by fxck (woman) -



FML's blog

  • FML's badges: pointless but essential!
  • If you're a regular on FML, it probably means that you're a member. Whatcha mean you're not a member? Right, for a start, run along and create yourself an account. Doing so will allow you to comment on…

Monday 23 February 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: