EpicSquishii

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Offline (the 06/19/2015 at 12:45am)

EpicSquishii

54Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 8 August 1992 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 9032
  • Number of comments : 571
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About EpicSquishii : Hello.

My first name starts with an E. I'm 21 years old. I have two pets, one English Bulldog puppy, and one adorable black cat who is super huge but only 3 years old.

I sell cosmetics as a part time job and am in school full-time to become a child psychologist.
The Room is the funniest movie I've ever seen.

My favorite meal is steak and baked potatoes.
I like to have funny conversations, and I say offensive things really often to try and figure out how likely the other person is to be a good friend. If they get offended, I don't need or want them in my social circle. If they laugh and come up with something equally crazy, they're a potential bestie.

EpicSquishii's page activity

Visits<b>wheresmymary</b> - the 05/25/2016 at 6:34pm<b>serpent_king</b> - the 05/21/2016 at 9:23am<b>jbuckets_404</b> - the 05/20/2016 at 12:17pm<b>aj105</b> - the 05/20/2016 at 1:26am<b>noodlemantra</b> - the 05/19/2016 at 5:50am<b>skylea5</b> - the 05/16/2016 at 5:02pm<b>Dxstant</b> - the 05/15/2016 at 4:42am<b>angrykid11</b> - the 05/13/2016 at 3:16am<b>waffleminer25</b> - the 05/07/2016 at 9:14am<b>HealthKitt</b> - the 05/04/2016 at 9:43pm<b>MBrabs1996</b> - the 05/01/2016 at 11:07pm<b>teachermadchem</b> - the 04/29/2016 at 4:17pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/24/2016 at 11:57am<b>hare</b> - the 04/24/2016 at 12:56am<b>hereforfmls</b> - the 04/24/2016 at 12:43am<b>ELNiN0</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 7:33am<b>walker9879</b> - the 04/19/2016 at 5:25pm<b>MitchRapp</b> - the 04/12/2016 at 11:29pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 11:08pm<b>xyris</b> - the 03/31/2016 at 1:49am<b>Emma1562</b> - the 02/24/2016 at 3:53am<b>Wane8822</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 8:28pm<b>Panu</b> - the 01/13/2016 at 3:10pm<b>Adamjohn82</b> - the 12/30/2015 at 6:33am<b>wanted_2_want</b> - the 12/26/2015 at 7:27am<b>LPac5295</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 3:47pm<b>FyeahPoet</b> - the 12/23/2015 at 3:00am<b>DeathofCareBear</b> - the 12/04/2015 at 6:41pm<b>Starzak</b> - the 11/29/2015 at 5:55pm<b>RavingHaven</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 9:05am<b>krazy789</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 5:11am<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/06/2015 at 6:15am<b>crossl16</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 1:42am<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 10/31/2015 at 4:28am<b>paravoz</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 7:17am<b>krazayman</b> - the 10/18/2015 at 11:48pm

EpicSquishii's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

See all of EpicSquishii's badges

EpicSquishii's favorite FMLs

Today, I was in a public restroom when someone took the toilet next to mine. Moments later, a used tampon rolls into my cubicle followed by an "Oops!" A creeping hand then promptly reached under to retrieve it. Both her hand and the tampon touched my bare toes. FML

by Anonymous / 02/19/2010 at 9:21pm / Australia (Victoria) / Health

Today, I asked my girlfriend what she thought of us getting married some day. She said she wasn't sure about me yet and that we may want to go in different directions soon. We've been dating for three years and I had the ring in my pocket at the moment. FML

by chao / 12/21/2009 at 9:47pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Love

Today, I got in an elevator at a hotel. Just as the door was closing, somebody banged into the door and stuck their hand through. I yelled, "What, are you retarded?!" The doors then opened to reveal a mentally handicapped boy with his parents standing behind him. FML

by Mike / 12/17/2009 at 11:38am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom revealed to me that when I was in Preschool, I used to get caught in the bathroom with little boys while I was feeling their "no no" area. I was giving hand jobs to boys before I could read. FML

by Anonymous / 12/15/2009 at 9:20pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I asked my boss a simple question about a problem I was having with a project I am currently doing. He replied: ''You don't worry your sweet little ass about it babe". My boss is my girlfriend's father. Nice. FML

by GiWi / 11/18/2009 at 11:45am / Ireland (Cork) / Work

Today, I suffered a mental breakdown. I told my roommates about it, and they decided to throw a very loud party while I was sobbing in my room, unable to sleep. My Xanax prescription ran out, I have no more sick days, and I have to wake up in two hours to work a ten hour day. FML

by sadparty / 11/06/2009 at 1:05am / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, I took a smoke break at work and I noticed a huge zit on my face. I used the reflection from a window to take care of the problem and then realized that there was a staff meeting taking place on the other side. FML

by JC / 10/22/2009 at 7:05pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, working my pizza delivery job, I got a $45 parking ticket for parking in a no stopping zone. I argued with the bylaw enforcement officer, but no luck. I was so pissed, I yelled at him: "You have the worst job in the world", to which he replied: " Buddy, you deliver pizza!" FML

by nick / 10/18/2009 at 9:39am / Canada (Quebec) / Work

Today, I was in bed sick from pneumonia. I asked my boyfriend to nuke a can of soup for me. He said "in a sec, let me finish this game" and continued to play on his Xbox for an hour. Starving, I crawled out to make soup. When I sat down to eat, he paused the game and asked "you didn't make me any?" FML

by tooflufoschool / 10/14/2009 at 9:00am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I was waiting for a delivery between 9am-8pm. At 7:30 pm, I finally decided to have a 3 minute (desperately needed) shower. During which time the delivery man came. I ran down the street in a towel that barely covered me. He was driving away looking at me in the mirror laughing. FML

by calamityjosie / 09/18/2009 at 1:24pm / United Kingdom (Reading) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my parents decided I was old enough to know that my mother doesnt really have horrible nightmares. She's a screamer. FML

by UGH / 08/31/2009 at 7:48pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I was curious as to whether or not my mom was off of her medication. When I asked her, she pulled a knife on me. Looks like I got my answer. FML

by mommy_issues / 08/29/2009 at 12:46pm / United States (South Carolina) / Health

Today, I thought it would be a smart idea to walk out on the pier while the waves were 6 feet tall. I was having fun getting "splashed" by the waves crashing over until one wave knocked me over and dragged me 20 feet across the hard concrete pier. FML

by onebadwave / 08/21/2009 at 3:26am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that I was adopted, now my gay brother thinks it's acceptable to tell me that he's always wanted to have sex with me. FML

by JPF / 08/12/2009 at 11:13pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy

Today, was my grandmother's funeral and we had to sing. My dad is a horrible singer, and I tried my hardest not to laugh, I turned red faced and tears were falling from my eyes. My step mother held my hand and said that she was in a better place. I couldn't hold it any longer. I laughed my ass off. FML

by shewholaughsatthedead / 07/29/2009 at 9:44pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.