EpicSquishii

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Offline (the 06/19/2015 at 12:45am)

EpicSquishii

55Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 8 August 1992 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 9176
  • Number of comments : 571
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About EpicSquishii : Hello.

My first name starts with an E. I'm 21 years old. I have two pets, one English Bulldog puppy, and one adorable black cat who is super huge but only 3 years old.

I sell cosmetics as a part time job and am in school full-time to become a child psychologist.
The Room is the funniest movie I've ever seen.

My favorite meal is steak and baked potatoes.
I like to have funny conversations, and I say offensive things really often to try and figure out how likely the other person is to be a good friend. If they get offended, I don't need or want them in my social circle. If they laugh and come up with something equally crazy, they're a potential bestie.

EpicSquishii's page activity

Visits<b>dno79</b> - 23 hours ago<b>eyepuppy</b> - the 06/25/2016 at 7:23am<b>Chibster</b> - the 06/24/2016 at 5:12pm<b>Zatert</b> - the 06/23/2016 at 7:43pm<b>hoosiergirl94</b> - the 06/23/2016 at 3:45pm<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 06/18/2016 at 8:34am<b>Stiggy626</b> - the 06/17/2016 at 1:14pm<b>vincentjules</b> - the 06/15/2016 at 6:56pm<b>angrykid11</b> - the 06/13/2016 at 8:59pm<b>wanted_2_want</b> - the 06/10/2016 at 12:45am<b>whydough</b> - the 06/09/2016 at 6:53am<b>ninjuh_wingman</b> - the 06/08/2016 at 5:57pm<b>KingSquisher</b> - the 06/08/2016 at 2:52am<b>jubejube239</b> - the 06/06/2016 at 9:34pm<b>jon_894b</b> - the 05/31/2016 at 11:06am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/29/2016 at 5:07pm<b>Gruffplatypus87</b> - the 05/29/2016 at 7:23am<b>wheresmymary</b> - the 05/25/2016 at 6:34pm

Fucked!<b>dno79</b> - 17 hours ago<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 11:08pm<b>xyris</b> - the 03/31/2016 at 1:49am<b>Emma1562</b> - the 02/24/2016 at 3:53am<b>Wane8822</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 8:28pm<b>Panu</b> - the 01/13/2016 at 3:10pm<b>Adamjohn82</b> - the 12/30/2015 at 6:33am<b>wanted_2_want</b> - the 12/26/2015 at 7:27am<b>LPac5295</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 3:47pm<b>FyeahPoet</b> - the 12/23/2015 at 3:00am<b>DeathofCareBear</b> - the 12/04/2015 at 6:41pm<b>Starzak</b> - the 11/29/2015 at 5:55pm<b>RavingHaven</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 9:05am<b>krazy789</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 5:11am<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/06/2015 at 6:15am<b>crossl16</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 1:42am<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 10/31/2015 at 4:28am<b>paravoz</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 7:17am

EpicSquishii's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

See all of EpicSquishii's badges

EpicSquishii's favorite FMLs

Today, I was carrying my four-month-old son in a checkout line. An older couple behind us remarked that I would spoil my son if I carried him everywhere. My son responded by projectile vomiting all over the wife, then looked at me and giggled. FML

by Pandamomma / 07/21/2014 at 8:58am / United States (North Carolina) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I saw a cute guy and decided to say hi. As I started to think about things to talk about, one story in particular about a drummer who looked like Jesus stuck out in my mind. I was so nervous that instead of saying hi, I blurted out, "Some people look like Jesus!" and took off. FML

by wondercat40 / 04/24/2014 at 5:19pm / United States (Indiana) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I'm eight months pregnant with my second child. My 18-month-old son loves to watch my belly move when his baby brother moves. And then loves to smack my belly. It's going to be a long eighteen years. FML

by clrichmond2009 / 02/19/2014 at 1:48pm / United States (Virginia) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my 2-year-old son put his hand on my face, gave me a sweet kiss, and put his cheek against mine. Then he slapped me hard enough to leave a mark, laughed, and scrambled away. FML

by MommyProblems / 01/19/2014 at 12:17am / United States / Kids

Today, I got two pieces of mail. One was a fine for not presenting my concession card to ticket inspectors on a train. The other was my concession card. FML

by Anonymous / 10/08/2013 at 3:09am / China (Shanghai) / Money

Today, my teacher was talking about anorexia and bulimia. Midway through the lesson, she stopped and knowingly asked if I wanted to share my experiences with the class. I don't have an eating disorder, just a screwed-up metabolism. FML

by 94lbs of muscle / 10/02/2013 at 2:37pm / Health

Today, my best friend confessed to me that she's a lesbian. She quickly added, "Oh, don't worry, I don't like you. You're not attractive." FML

by ...thanks / 09/07/2013 at 10:17am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, out of partying reflex, I downed Communion wine like a vodka shot. FML

by Anonymous / 08/10/2013 at 6:05am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to my boss's dinner party. My sister, who also works with me, sat across from me at the table. I felt her kick me so I kicked her back. Then I heard something start crying. It was the boss's baby crawling under the table. FML

by offuckingcourse / 08/06/2013 at 1:07am / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, I went over my girlfriend of 3 months' house for the first time. As we walked through the door, I was greeted by a little girl whose first words to me were, "Are you my daddy?" FML

by walker / 07/06/2013 at 12:17am / United States / Love

Today, the crazy son of a bitch who lives next door to me once again got into a loud, rather one-sided argument with his cat. 20 minutes later, he knocked on my door, asking if he could stay at my place for a couple of days. The look he gave me when I said no has me fearing for my life. FML

by Anonymous / 06/05/2013 at 6:09pm / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I borrowed my boyfriend's laptop. Out of curiosity, I clicked through the bookmarks in his web browser. One of them took me to a site dedicated to sex stories featuring characters from My Little Pony. FML

by bestiality? do I look like a pig? / 05/26/2013 at 4:50pm / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous

Today, as I was walking down the street, a car full of hot girls pulled up and asked if I wanted to party; obviously, I said yes. They then shot at me with party poppers and threw party food all over me. FML

by KingUrge / 04/26/2013 at 4:36am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend from high school contacted me, telling me we should hang out some time; I casually agreed. Two hours later she's on my doorstep in tears, wanting me to take her back. She's married with kids. I live four states away and haven't a clue how she found out where I live. FML

by Anonymous / 04/21/2013 at 7:26pm / United States / Love

Today, my twelve year-old son thought it would be a good idea to relentlessly shoot the mail truck with a paintball gun in front of all the neighbors. FML

by NYmets456 / 04/05/2013 at 12:25am / United States (New York) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.