EpicBlondie89

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Offline (the 02/04/2016 at 9:15pm)

EpicBlondie89

5Fucked!

EpicBlondie89EpicBlondie89
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 15 March 1989 (27 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1224
  • Number of comments : 107
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About EpicBlondie89 : I'm not mean. You're just a sissy. Now unbunch your panties. Entertain me. Lurking since 2010, figured I'd finally make a profile. I'm divorced with 2 kids. I'm the coolest nerd you'll ever meet. I'm very blunt and sarcastic, so don't take me too seriously. It is, after all, the internet. Messages are welcome, I just now realized the app on my new phone can receive them. :)

EpicBlondie89's page activity

Visits<b>KrisEvergreen</b> - the 04/25/2016 at 10:20pm<b>thomas5915</b> - the 04/20/2016 at 7:02pm<b>pred8885</b> - the 03/15/2016 at 9:28am<b>Leo619</b> - the 03/15/2016 at 1:37am<b>websphere69</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 1:08pm<b>chitochito</b> - the 10/05/2015 at 6:26am<b>ToxicTyrael</b> - the 09/17/2015 at 10:30am<b>FoxHunt9119</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 6:23pm<b>JDSini</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 3:18pm<b>xKG33x</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 11:18pm<b>bxjxj</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 9:35pm<b>EnigMind</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 10:45am<b>ihartmytdi</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 3:20pm<b>LeBandit</b> - the 01/31/2015 at 11:18am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 01/31/2015 at 9:53am<b>BuckNekkid</b> - the 01/29/2015 at 7:52pm<b>edmunson</b> - the 01/17/2015 at 1:40am<b>abattior</b> - the 01/16/2015 at 7:27am

Fucked!<b>websphere69</b> - the 11/02/2015 at 9:31pm<b>chitochito</b> - the 10/05/2015 at 12:26pm<b>FoxHunt9119</b> - the 08/11/2015 at 12:27am<b>JDSini</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 9:19pm<b>edmunson</b> - the 01/17/2015 at 7:40am

EpicBlondie89's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

See all of EpicBlondie89's badges

EpicBlondie89's favorite FMLs

Today, I asked my 7-year-old daughter what job she would like when she grows up. She calmly replied that she wouldn't have one; she'd just bring her husband round to my place and steal food from me. FML

by faitesdesgosses / 05/19/2014 at 10:27am / Kids

Today, my boyfriend and I got into an argument. Naturally, I drove over to my best friend's house for comfort. My boyfriend saw me driving past his house and promptly broke up with me for being "a psycho stalker." She lives across the street from him. FML

by And you think I'M crazy? / 04/22/2013 at 1:06am / United States / Love

Today, I had to convince my husband that I'm not having an affair all because I refused to have sex with him. Apparently the fact that I gave birth to our twins 10 days ago isn't a good enough reason to turn him down. FML

by loving wife / 04/21/2013 at 6:20am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy

Today, my sister went into a blind rage at me for "upstaging" her by announcing that I'm pregnant, two months after she did the same. My husband and I have been trying for two years. She's in high school and doesn't even know who the father is. FML

by bntje / 04/14/2013 at 4:39pm / Netherlands (Overijssel) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was violently throwing up due to severe morning sickness. My boyfriend looked at me, then turned and walked away. In the end, my daughter gave me some paper towel and her juice. My 18-month-old is more supportive of my pregnancy than her 30-year-old father. FML

by InfamousLastWord / 03/27/2013 at 3:34pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend discovered that if he flicks my clitoris just right, my legs both twitch spastically regardless of arousal level. He thinks it's hilarious and can no longer take sex seriously. FML

by geewhy / 12/26/2012 at 4:20pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, I had to stand next to my wife at the supermarket, beet-red and pretending not to exist; about half an hour into our shopping, she completely lost her shit at the advertising on the loudspeaker, turned to another patron, and screamed into his face to shut the fuck up. FML

by Anonymous / 11/15/2012 at 2:47pm / Ireland / Miscellaneous

Today, at my school they were having a carnival to raise money. One of the patrons suggested that if they wanted to make money, they should have people pledge money to make me cover my ugly face with a bag. The school got over $500, and I had to wear a bag. FML

by Anonymous / 11/01/2012 at 7:11pm / United States (Vermont) / Miscellaneous

Today, multiple people admired my elaborate face paint. This happens every Halloween, at least every Halloween since I got badly burnt in a car accident. FML

by Anonymous / 11/01/2012 at 7:17am / United Kingdom (Kingston upon Hull, City of) / Miscellaneous

Today, in the spirit of Halloween and to get back at a child who repeatedly pressed the doorbell until I showed up, I quickly opened the door and yelled "Boo!" The child ended up being carried away crying with wet pants by a mother threatening to sue. FML

by NoSpirit / 11/01/2012 at 4:20am / Kids

Today, I jokingly asked my girlfriend what she got me for my half birthday, to which she replied "A baby." She was serious. FML

Today, my boyfriend and I were preparing for the arrival of Hurricane Sandy. I tasked him with going out to buy emergency groceries in case we lose power. He returned with dozens of microwave cup noodles. We're going to starve. FML

by cupnoodles / 10/28/2012 at 4:14pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I went out of my way to avoid street preachers thrusting hateful propaganda at me. A young woman ran up to me and started waving paper in my face, and I snapped at her to fuck off. Right afterwards I realised she was returning something that fell out of my pocket. She looked terrified. FML

by Anonymous / 10/26/2012 at 8:24am / Australia (South Australia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up after having a dream which included sex with a very hot guy. I realized it's about time I get laid, because the hot guy was Brock from Pokémon. FML

by L / 10/16/2012 at 6:59pm / Norway (Sor-Trondelag) / Intimacy

Today, I told my daughter that she won't be going to her homecoming dance as punishment for her terrible grades. She's been crying and singing "If I Die Young" in her room for hours. At this point, I don't know if I need to call a therapist or a vocal coach. FML

by Anonymous / 10/15/2012 at 12:07am / United States (Colorado) / Kids