Epalmss

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Offline (the 08/21/2015 at 3:11pm)

Epalmss

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2820
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Epalmss's page activity

Visits<b>c_wyld</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 3:03pm<b>kansah</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 8:28am<b>RenoTheRhino</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 11:48pm<b>BBlah</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 10:45pm<b>annarcheer</b> - the 01/17/2015 at 1:42pm<b>nickthegoodkitty</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 7:09pm<b>demitrib</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 1:50pm<b>Skylae</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 1:54am<b>nabeh1213</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 2:22am<b>pugnamedwhiskey</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 7:10pm<b>Toutejulie</b> - the 05/26/2014 at 5:02pm<b>Ayezed</b> - the 05/20/2014 at 5:14pm<b>Adicto1998</b> - the 05/05/2014 at 10:51pm<b>bellesuore</b> - the 04/25/2014 at 6:50pm<b>redraven88</b> - the 04/01/2014 at 6:51pm<b>graffitied_love</b> - the 03/08/2014 at 8:45am<b>Rajni_dev</b> - the 03/04/2014 at 12:37pm<b>aminasalah</b> - the 02/28/2014 at 10:16am

Epalmss's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

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Epalmss's favorite FMLs

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, some homeless person came up to the window and started doing a voice-over. FML

by Anonymous / 03/14/2015 at 11:02pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, while cleaning my son's room, I found an envelope labelled "PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL" under his bed. I opened it, only to find it was a glitter bomb. I couldn't get it all cleaned off myself before he got home. He just said "HAH! Serves you right!" and went to his room smirking. FML

by Anonymous / 02/28/2015 at 1:11pm / United States (Oregon) / Kids

Today, a man asked me for directions outside of a local store. After about five minutes into the conversation, I noticed he had whipped his penis out and was stroking it. He then asked me if I liked what I saw. FML

by sammy18f / 02/23/2015 at 10:46pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I was on my way to work when my ex-wife drove past me in the car she got from me. She fucked me over so hard in the divorce that I have to ride my bike to work while wearing a full suit. FML

by D: / 02/19/2015 at 3:45pm / United States (Colorado) / Money

Today, I walked in on my husband jacking off to a photo of himself. FML

by Anonymous / 01/30/2015 at 3:16pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, my Canadian friend is staying a few days at my parents' house. I drove him from the airport, only to find my idiot dad had decked the spare room out with maple syrup bottles. He keeps saying "eh" all the time and asked "What's he so upset aboot?" when my friend was offended. FML

by ehxtraordinarily pissed / 12/13/2014 at 1:36pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad interrupted my job interview with a phone call, just to say "I fucked your mom." No shit, dad. FML

by Anonymous / 07/05/2014 at 1:53pm / United States / Work

Today, less than a day after my cranky downstairs neighbor passed away, I woke up to banging sounds against his apartment ceiling, like the ones he used to make whenever I walked around during the night. I'm shitting myself in fear. FML

by mdsfkljsfsdrewr / 06/03/2014 at 3:01pm / Lebanon (Beyrouth) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was teaching my 4 year old daughter how to use "stranger danger". Later that day, we went out and since I didn't buy her a ice cream, she kept screaming "STRANGER DANGER!" A total stranger tackled me until the cops arrived. FML

by imnotastranger / 05/08/2014 at 11:01pm / Kids

Today, to teach my 14-year-old son a serious lesson for bullying a child at school again, I grounded him for the rest of the year. He just snorted and said, "Cool, I'll just jack off all year then! Thanks, mum!" and happily retreated to his bedroom. FML

by Satan's Mum / 05/06/2014 at 2:38pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Kids

Today, I was at a party. Trying to overcome my social anxiety, I was trying to take part in conversations. So, when a girl mentioned she had a doctor's appointment next morning, I blurted out: "What kind of a doctor?" Everyone stared as she responded: "A gynaecologist." FML

by cocacola999 / 05/03/2014 at 6:38am / United Kingdom / Health

Today, while at my brother's funeral, my girlfriend decided to tell me she's been sleeping with him. FML

by loserman / 04/29/2014 at 6:40pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, while at a restaurant with my husband for our 4-year anniversary, he kept behaving strangely, breathing deeply and eventually sighing happily. I thought the wine had just gone to his head. Nope; he proudly admitted later that he'd jerked off without anyone noticing, even me. FML

by god / 04/29/2014 at 2:48pm / United Kingdom (West Lothian) / Miscellaneous

Today, at work, I served a group of three teens. Their tab was $75 and they tipped me nothing. They wrote a thank you on a piece of receipt paper, put it in a glass of water and used a coaster to turn the glass of water upside down on the table, spilling water everywhere. They also stole my pen. FML

by brerj09 / 04/28/2014 at 9:35am / United States (Minnesota) / Work

Today, at my wedding, my husband stood up to give a speech. It started out beautiful, until he told everyone how he started to fall in love with me after I blew him on our first date. FML

by Sue Ellen / 04/21/2014 at 11:43am / United States (Rhode Island) / Intimacy