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Enzi

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Enzi

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2960
  • Number of comments : 71
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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Visits<b>dandancc</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 5:43am<b>izkiz</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 4:01pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 11/16/2014 at 12:00am<b>laneyk07</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 12:43am<b>countryb_cth</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 4:28am<b>ThatSlappinBass</b> - the 03/25/2014 at 10:26pm<b>swick25</b> - the 02/28/2014 at 7:03pm<b>angelk19</b> - the 02/16/2014 at 4:48pm<b>squartle</b> - the 01/16/2014 at 8:53pm<b>Rababco</b> - the 01/15/2014 at 12:07am<b>thedeadmen</b> - the 12/08/2013 at 1:16pm<b>maximus_black</b> - the 12/02/2013 at 12:15am<b>ohishkabibble</b> - the 11/29/2013 at 4:09am<b>cosicosei</b> - the 10/19/2013 at 1:45am<b>dropdeadluverrr</b> - the 10/07/2013 at 2:14am<b>Ghast1234</b> - the 08/31/2013 at 10:13pm<b>hunteryager</b> - the 08/17/2013 at 8:25am<b>outragedpeople</b> - the 08/14/2013 at 4:02am

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Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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Enzi's favorite FMLs

Today, I was sitting in the hospital waiting area. An old lady was crying, and my five year old daughter asked her, "Are you okay?" The woman quietly nodded, prompting my daughter to scream at the top of her lungs, "Well shut up then!" FML

#17391065
285 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35263) - you deserved it (10043)

On 08/06/2011 at 9:40pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my old neighbor pelted me with apples when I walked out the door. I ducked for cover and asked what her problem was. She yelled, "You took fresh peas from my garden!" I looked at her garden, only to see my dad tiptoeing back to our lawn, laughing and holding a bag full of peas. FML

#17344218
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32143) - you deserved it (2904)

On 08/02/2011 at 2:36pm - misc - by scully11 (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, the only thing that managed to get me out of bed was scrambling to watch my neighbours have a screaming match in the middle of our street about which one of their brain-dead kids spray-painted "CUNT FLAPS" and a rudimentary knob on the communal garage door. FML

#17266152
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20675) - you deserved it (2645)

On 07/26/2011 at 10:05am - health - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I woke up feeling great. I opened up the blinds and looked out from my window just in time to see a man ripping my mailbox from the ground and sprinting away with it. FML

#17193667
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29740) - you deserved it (2363)

On 07/20/2011 at 6:17pm - misc - by cheddar (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was at the park with my daughter. She walked up to a boy at the swings, held her hand out, and said, "Hi I'm Vanessa, and someday you'll be working for me." FML

#16591956
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32546) - you deserved it (12394)

On 06/10/2011 at 5:57am - kids - by Rachel (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I gave a girl answers to a test. She said she would give me something pleasurable in return. She gave me a Twinkie, saying, "I know how much fat people love twinkies." FML

#16207509
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25641) - you deserved it (35160)

On 05/16/2011 at 3:34pm - misc - by pyroman1127 - United States (Utah)

Today, I discovered that my new boyfriend is the type of guy who, when there is a conflict, will just scream "I LOVE YOU" over and over hoping that it will solve itself instead of actually trying to work the problem out. FML

#16055177
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37470) - you deserved it (7343)

On 05/05/2011 at 10:40am - love - by sad (woman) - United Kingdom (Somerset)

Today, my husband got out of the shower, came downstairs naked screaming ''EMBRACE THE HARDNESS!!'' Little did he know, my step mother was sitting right there at the kitchen table. FML

#15934305
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44903) - you deserved it (5623)

On 04/26/2011 at 1:28pm - intimacy - by Scarlett - United States (Washington)

Today, I was taking a crap in a public stall when three kids broke down the door and pelted me with eggs. FML

#15846054
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46457) - you deserved it (5700)

On 04/19/2011 at 11:06am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I discovered that the demonic voice that made me nearly piss myself all night, was my sister's Furby she stuck in the closet. FML

#15219004
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36785) - you deserved it (6548)

On 03/06/2011 at 2:38pm - misc - by Spooked (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was answering a text from one of my students asking me if they could re-take a test. I thought I'd texted back "No, you can't." Auto correct had used a more frequently used word: "No, you cunt." FML

#15184059
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39245) - you deserved it (24292)

On 03/03/2011 at 6:22am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I downloaded an application for my phone that reads whatever you type out loud. I started making it say things like "You like it when daddy spanks your tight little ass don't you?" Just as the message was playing back out loud, my mom walked up the stairs. FML

#15012156
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9463) - you deserved it (49552)

On 02/17/2011 at 2:02am - intimacy - by biglady (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my boyfriend and I were playing around. He threw me over his shoulder and turned around, smacking my face against the wall. Then he smacked my head into the fridge after turning round to see "what that loud bang" was. FML

#14244389
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34989) - you deserved it (4070)

On 12/18/2010 at 4:11am - love - by anonymous - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I went to use the public restroom. As I saw the toilet paper was out, I could see there was some hanging down from the other stall. As I went to grab it, I felt a hand grab mine and a voice ask seductively, "what were you reaching for?" FML

#13940137
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28065) - you deserved it (9239)

On 11/22/2010 at 7:18pm - misc - by reesemaster (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was mad at my mother. Why? We went to parent-teacher interviews, and she told my math teacher that she should allow bathroom breaks because I have a "very heavy menstrual flow." My teacher suggested I eat more red meat. They got into a seven-minute argument about this. FML

#13746005
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30476) - you deserved it (2378)

On 11/07/2010 at 12:04am - health - by noname (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)



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