EnterSandman

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EnterSandman

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 8162
  • Number of comments : 216
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 109 posted

About EnterSandman : Just a dude that's had too many concussions and works 3rd shift so my brain has a rather strange thought process (when it has a thought process).

I love metal, so I give myself even more concussions head banging to the likes of Metallica, etc. I also do a bit of writing in my spare time since I take sleep aids that give me really weird dreams that could make awesome books (if I ever actually finish one and get it published, that is).

If I click on your account, don't worry. I just have the app on my iPhone and sometimes fat thumbs make it difficult to thumb comments, or your picture looked hilarious but was too small to see without clicking on. Anyways, thanks for taking the time to look at this (I think). If you happened to click this profile by mistake, don't worry. I won't hunt you down and release thousands of fire ants in your bed, I like my world drama-free.

EnterSandman's page activity

Visits<b>CamBamShamDaMan</b> - the 05/13/2016 at 1:30pm<b>tVictoria</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 5:17pm<b>blackeyeidiot</b> - the 09/20/2015 at 10:24pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 9:57pm<b>thatguy240</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 12:04pm<b>YourAuntsCousin</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 3:17am<b>vaderismyfriend</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 3:32pm<b>BellaP13</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 5:19pm<b>YouMadBra</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 12:56pm<b>paintedwings12</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 2:58pm<b>Starfoxx</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 2:08pm<b>Budderchook</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 9:35am<b>Franniee_</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 11:39am<b>eb9821</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 10:54am<b>janey000</b> - the 04/21/2014 at 7:21pm<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 03/09/2014 at 9:38pm<b>Mynameislinh</b> - the 03/09/2014 at 9:03pm<b>Narttu</b> - the 03/08/2014 at 10:22am

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/14/2015 at 3:57am<b>thatguy240</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 6:05pm

EnterSandman's FML badges

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EnterSandman's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to put up with a student who stubbornly insisted that King Solomon was, in fact, a Pokémon. FML

by madden2014 / 09/19/2013 at 6:23pm / United States (California) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I shaved my face after several months of growth. This would be OK if my 4-year-old daughter would still talk to me. Apparently she doesn't recognise me, and I'm scary. FML

by Smoothskin / 09/19/2013 at 5:18pm / Australia (Victoria) / Kids

Today, after getting back from a year-long world trip, I nearly fell on my knees and cried when I saw boxes of Twinkies at my local gas station. Finding out they were back was the highlight of the year. FML

by AwkwardPartyBear / 09/17/2013 at 5:27pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was home alone and heard the kitchen tap turn on. Shocked, I turned it off. It continuously kept turning itself on so I set my video phone on it to find out the cause. My cat has learnt to turn it on. I later found said cat teaching another. I have three cats. All my taps are like this. FML

by Madster15 / 09/15/2013 at 2:05am / Australia (Victoria) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I realized that what I thought for years was my country's National Anthem, is actually the theme song of a TV show. FML

by :| / 09/12/2013 at 6:27pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I took my 4-year-old son to the bank with me. He asked why we were going, and I explained that I had a couple of checks that they would turn into money. When we got in line, he loudly exclaimed that "Mommy has checks for money!" Except "checks" sounded almost exactly like "sex". FML

by Anonymous / 09/10/2013 at 2:30pm / United States (Tennessee) / Kids

Today, I learned that my parrots now can shit horizontally when I found the wall next to the cage covered in feces. FML

by StefanKa / 09/09/2013 at 5:30am / Poland (Mazowieckie) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I discovered that my boyfriend, who has frequent night terrors, also sleepwalks. And apparently sleep-pisses on the bathroom rug. FML

by laundry day again... / 09/08/2013 at 9:07am / United States / Love

Today, I had to finally accept that I have an eating disorder when I caught myself checking for the nutrition facts and calories on my shampoo. FML

by Jasmine_smilee / 09/02/2013 at 2:47am / United States (Oregon) / Health

Today, while I was sleeping, apparently I rolled over towards my fiancé and told him "We gotta save the turtles!" and had a five seconds long fart. Now he won't stop making fun of me. FML

by fartz / 08/31/2013 at 2:04am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, was my wedding day. We had a beautiful outdoor wedding and everything was going perfectly as planned. That is, until a bird flew over us and left a present right between my boobs. I had to stand at the altar for 30 minutes as bird poop melted in my cleavage. FML

by NewBride / 08/14/2013 at 1:39pm / United States (Nebraska) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found my elderly neighbour on all fours in my garden eating my flowers. FML

Today, my dog died. In the same kitchen corner that two of my other dogs have died. I have a "Corner Of Death" in my kitchen. FML

by The Corner Of Death / 08/12/2013 at 4:17am / United States (Texas) / Animals

Today, I stepped out of the house for some fresh air. It was still dark out, so imagine my horror when I accidentally stepped on a frog. It squealed for a split second before being crushed beneath my uncovered foot. FML

by traumatizedforlife / 08/05/2013 at 4:21pm / United States / Animals

Today, I finally talked my boyfriend into going down on me. Everything went well until I came and instinctively gripped his head with my thighs. He panicked and we both rolled off of the bed crocodile-style. Now he's too scared to even have sex with me. FML

by whyeventry? / 08/02/2013 at 12:39am / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy