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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 15441
  • Number of comments : 6165
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Enslaved : Owns a Red Shoe Diary. Wants to be loved, just not by you.

Hello me ... Meet the real me

Open your eyes and see that Life is Beautiful, enjoys Silent Lucidity, and still Rides the Lightning.

It's complicating me sometimes

I took you home
Set you on the glass
I pulled off your wings
Then I laughed

How do I live without the ones I love?
Time still turns the pages of the book it's burned
Place and time always on my mind
I have so much to say but you're so far away

Enslaved's page activity

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Liked!<b>JuggaloGamer</b> - 19 hours ago<b>zScribbley</b> - 24 hours ago<b>Sansa</b> - yesterday at 10:37am<b>ksks1234</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 7:50pm<b>murythawn</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 6:16am<b>0mysteriousman0</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 11:56pm<b>kunal222</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 10:02pm<b>Princess_Ash12</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 10:58pm<b>AfroCircusMan</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 2:09pm<b>buckstop1</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 1:50pm<b>martin8337</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 8:09am<b>mip_92</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 12:25am<b>Chrissyella</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 11:39pm<b>briang959</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 10:20pm<b>woainishamu</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 9:47pm<b>lolcat97</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 9:20pm<b>mohem</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 8:32pm<b>MxAxRxCxO</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 6:51pm

Enslaved's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

See all of Enslaved's badges

Enslaved's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized something: when other people are drunk, they dance around and make out with people. When I'm drunk, I apparently think it's a great idea to chew on electrical cords. FML


I agree, your life sucks (17033) - you deserved it (28574)

On 12/29/2012 at 2:30am - misc - by almostkilledmyself - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, while at the store with my mom and baby brother, a guy started to talk to me. Just as he went to give me his number, my mom handed me my brother and said, "Here's your son, your AA meeting's in an hour, let's go." FML


I agree, your life sucks (50303) - you deserved it (4739)

On 12/26/2012 at 1:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I unwrapped my present and, to my surprise, I had gotten a repair manual for my truck. Apparently, my parents are "Tired of seeing that piece of shit in front of our house." FML


I agree, your life sucks (13331) - you deserved it (20404)

On 12/26/2012 at 3:30am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I looked at my neighbor's empty lawn; he's an old guy and he usually has the best Christmas lights. We knew he might not be able to do them this year, so I felt bad and I did them for him. Later, a neighbor asked about them and I told her that I helped out. She said, "You do know he died, right?" FML


I agree, your life sucks (32954) - you deserved it (17229)

On 12/21/2012 at 11:00am - misc - by Syd - United States (Texas)

Today, I was waiting in line to use the bathroom. I complained to the guy next to me about how long the lady was taking. I kept making jokes about it, but he never seemed to laugh. Finally, the door opened and out came a lady in a wheelchair. The guy next to me was her husband. FML


I agree, your life sucks (9024) - you deserved it (59875)

On 12/19/2012 at 12:12pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I sent in an assignment from my batshit insane teacher. The assignment was to read a poem, analyze it, and make a comic of its plot. This would've been fine if the teacher who assigned it to me didn't teach math. FML

Today, my daughter finally gave birth to twin boys. She informed me that she named them Peregrin Took and Meriadoc Brandybuck. My grandsons are named after Hobbits. FML


I agree, your life sucks (28363) - you deserved it (5380)

On 12/06/2012 at 11:49pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I bought my son a nice car for his 18th birthday. When I gave it to him, he just got mad and told me that if I really wanted to spend that much money on him, I should've used it to help him pay for college. FML


I agree, your life sucks (15201) - you deserved it (49543)

On 12/05/2012 at 6:27am - kids - by Anonymous - Israel

Today, I went to a restaurant with my boyfriend. After dessert, he went to the bathroom so I quickly called the waiter over and paid the bill, thinking it was a nice gesture. When he returned, he broke up with me for "emasculating" him. FML


I agree, your life sucks (24775) - you deserved it (4133)

On 11/27/2012 at 6:36am - love - by Clementine (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he'd rather play the new Assassin's Creed game or have a night of sex with me. He started crying from indecision. FML


I agree, your life sucks (34484) - you deserved it (10956)

On 11/24/2012 at 8:54am - intimacy - by ladylol (woman) - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, my family came over for Thanksgiving. We were supposed to have had dinner hours ago, but my mom kept sneaking into the kitchen and dialing down the temperature on the oven, claiming I was going to overcook everything. At this rate, we'll be lucky to have eaten by midnight. FML


I agree, your life sucks (20372) - you deserved it (1492)

On 11/22/2012 at 6:18pm - misc - by mommycooks (woman) - United States

Today, I asked my manager if wearing makeup was a requirement for the job. She told me, "Not if you're naturally pretty... So for you, yes". FML


I agree, your life sucks (25298) - you deserved it (3045)

On 11/17/2012 at 4:15am - work - by satega - United States (Missouri)

Today, I decided to buy a meal for a homeless man who was being shunned at an intersection. When I went to hand it to him, I realized it was my dad, wearing a tattered old shirt and pretending to be homeless to make some money. FML


I agree, your life sucks (31993) - you deserved it (1961)

On 11/12/2012 at 12:12am - misc - by BulldogHoops - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and things started getting pretty hot. That is, until I tried to remove her shirt. Somehow, I managed to grab her pajama shorts and give her a violent wedgie. FML


I agree, your life sucks (17270) - you deserved it (28106)

On 11/08/2012 at 1:25pm - intimacy - by shit.... (man) - Malaysia (Selangor)

Today, I watched my girlfriend slowly floss her teeth, and then eat what showed up on the floss. FML


I agree, your life sucks (23717) - you deserved it (2802)

On 11/04/2012 at 4:16pm - misc - by i fking love docb - Virgin Islands, U.S.

Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

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  • Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML
  • Madonna must be the only person breathing a sigh of relief right now thanks to all the idiots arguing about the colour of a dress. Thanks to a badly-lit photograph, everyone seems to have forgotten that she super…

Friday 27 February 2015

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