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EmsyyyRose13

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EmsyyyRose13
  • Town/Country : Albuquerque, New Mexico, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 5 August 1995 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 392
  • Number of comments : 116
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About EmsyyyRose13 : Hello fellow FMLers!

I'm Emily; a freshman at the University of New Mexico who plans to major in English.

EmsyyyRose13's last visitors

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EmsyyyRose13's FML badges

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of EmsyyyRose13's badges

EmsyyyRose13's favorite FMLs

Today, I asked my husband to try a little foreplay for once, instead of just rushing into sex. His idea of foreplay was to sweetly whisper that he was going to "penis" me so hard. That's the first time I've heard the word "penis" used as a verb, and hopefully the last. FML

#21007475
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43459) - you deserved it (4925)

On 12/27/2013 at 5:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, a drunk man walked into my house at 2pm, screaming out, "Honey, I'm home!" He had the wrong house, but it looks like I've finally met my new neighbour. FML

#20895601
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35132) - you deserved it (2950)

On 09/25/2013 at 12:35pm - misc - by nicetomeetyou2 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while working as a cashier, a really cute guy came up and said, "Hi Morgan". I freaked out and asked him how he knew my name. He then replied, "You have a name tag". FML

#20874687
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29772) - you deserved it (16343)

On 09/09/2013 at 5:51pm - work - by anon -

Today, my girlfriend freaked out, thinking she might be pregnant due to her period being late. I found myself reminding her that one actually has to have had sex recently to become pregnant. We've been living together, sexless, for over a year. FML

#20859311
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48858) - you deserved it (5153)

On 08/29/2013 at 2:12pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my 13-year-old daughter and I went to a tropical themed restaurant. She wanted a strawberry Daiquiri, so I asked the waitress for a virgin strawberry Daiquiri. My daughter then said, "But dad, I'm not a virgin." FML

#20775827
334 comments

I agree, your life sucks (92420) - you deserved it (10330)

On 07/11/2013 at 10:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me to completely shave off all of my already-groomed pubic area because, "It looks so unnatural." Ignoring the obvious lack of logic, I asked him why he keeps his totally ungroomed. Turns out "Men having hair is okay. Women aren't supposed to, though." FML

#20759121
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46635) - you deserved it (11244)

On 07/02/2013 at 12:37am - intimacy - by yeshehaspornaddiction (woman) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, my boyfriend told me that he was going to buy me a "magic wand". Being a Harry Potter fanatic, I assumed he meant a replica wand. It turns out he actually meant a Magic Wand vibrator. I was more excited about the HP wand. FML

#20758994
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42606) - you deserved it (8488)

On 07/01/2013 at 11:37pm - intimacy - by whorecrux (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, as a joke, my friends pushed me into the men's restroom and held the door shut. As I was trying to push the door open, I heard a voice behind me say, "Wow. Immaturity, huh?" I turned to find a guy taking a dump in one of the urinals. FML

#20757332
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52590) - you deserved it (3336)

On 07/01/2013 at 1:50am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was explaining to my son that porn isn't a realistic depiction of sex. Just as I finished explaining to him that threesomes rarely happen in real life, he started crying. I feel like a dream-crushing monster. FML

#20756438
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42787) - you deserved it (7932)

On 06/30/2013 at 5:44pm - kids - by sorry, kiddo (man) - Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest)

Today, I've come to the conclusion that my phone addiction is getting out of control after I typed my PIN code into the microwave. FML

#20754108
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24181) - you deserved it (34327)

On 06/29/2013 at 10:57am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after spending four hours cooking food for a special family dinner, I went to take a shower before they arrived. I came back out less than twenty minutes later to find most of the food gone, and a very guilty-looking puppy. FML

Today, I was accused of shooting drugs at work. I was only feeding a baby bird that was tucked into my arm using a medicine syringe. I've been smuggling it to work because it has to eat every 2 hours or it will starve. Now everyone there thinks I'm a hardcore dope fiend. FML

#20751061
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42505) - you deserved it (7793)

On 06/27/2013 at 7:56pm - animals - by Gribby - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was diagnosed with strep throat. My mom wasted no time accusing me of whoring around and claiming that most people get strep from performing oral sex. FML

#20750267
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38753) - you deserved it (2722)

On 06/27/2013 at 12:58pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Finland (Western Finland)

Today, another "gentleman" called and asked for my "services". This is happening a lot lately, because apparently I have the old number of a prostitute. I told him I'm not who he's looking for, to which he replied that I sound like a "sexy lady" and that he wanted to have some fun. FML

#20748362
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38866) - you deserved it (2766)

On 06/26/2013 at 1:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had to go to therapy for my fear of cats. All the way there, my girlfriend kept making cat noises and scratching at me. FML

#20748338
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37180) - you deserved it (7331)

On 06/26/2013 at 12:42pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)



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