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Empyree

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Empyree
  • Town/Country : 420, I Live In Cali AND Goto Summit High School That's All You Get To Know :)
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 145
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Empyree : "But a dream within a dream" 1849 by___________

My music is Violent femmes, weezer, sublime, blink182, the black keys, the strokes, evanescence, my favorite band is the offspring or nirvana. Favorite songs, blister in the sun by the violent femmes, loser by beck and handlebars by Flobots. if ur bored message me.

Empyree's last visitors

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Empyree's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

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Empyree's favorite FMLs

Today, I was sitting in a lecture about the history of the KKK and the problems it has caused, when the weirdest and quietest kid leans over my shoulder and says "I'd burn you first..." and winks. FML

#13455190
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27859) - you deserved it (2857)

On 10/15/2010 at 2:00am - misc - by racist - United States

Today, I fainted for the first time in my life. I was in the shower. With my girlfriend. Apparently, my brain and my erection had a battle for who got the most blood, and my erection won. FML

#6583595
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20666) - you deserved it (3003)

On 12/03/2009 at 12:50pm - intimacy - by Silent - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, at work, my stomach hurt and I passed gas for relief. Moments later, I discovered that my loose, silent "fart" was actually a wet, sneaky shart. The mess was beyond repair; I had to fake a family emergency and crept out of the office so that my coworkers wouldn't see my obvious crap stain. FML

#5796915
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29460) - you deserved it (7718)

On 10/12/2009 at 2:10pm - health - by Few_Absolutes (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my mother sent a letter to my best friend trying to comfort her over the death of her mother. She signed the letter "LOL, Jen" thinking LOL stood for "lots of love." FML

#1429978
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59504) - you deserved it (4968)

On 04/28/2009 at 5:51pm - misc - by unlolable4321 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it. He said, "I don't know what you're talking about, Megan". My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML

#159600
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (1094767) - you deserved it (108799)

On 02/28/2009 at 6:10am - love - by thatsucks (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, I found out that when I masturbate at night while watching internet porn I cast a huge shadow on the curtain and the entire street is able to see it. FML

#30273
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18273) - you deserved it (44489)

On 02/12/2009 at 6:54am - intimacy - by Evil_Egbert (man) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, for the 25th time, an Indian called my cell phone asking for 'Pinkie'. I don't know who the hell Pinkie is, but I don't appreciate people calling wrong numbers while I'm having it off. FML

#249
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27073) - you deserved it (8605)

On 11/07/2008 at 8:07pm - misc - by Hth - United States (Delaware)



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  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

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