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  • Town/Country : Mushayrib, United Arab Emirates
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1285
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Empyree : "But a dream within a dream" 1849 by___________!

My music is Violent femmes, weezer, sublime, blink182, the black keys, the strokes. My favorite band is the offspring or nirvana. Favorite song blister in the sun by the violent femmes. if ur bored message me. By the way I'm german

Empyree's page activity

Visits<b>Bulldozer36</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 4:55pm<b>kitty_boo2810</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 7:21pm<b>sonshadsil94</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 12:59am<b>lexielou07</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 9:29pm<b>Antivist</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 9:26pm<b>nerdtoninja</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 1:08am<b>jtrizzle93</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 11:09pm<b>ptv_96</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 2:17am<b>myinsecurities</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 10:40am<b>kiki_1070</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 12:07pm<b>LynxieLynx</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 4:36pm<b>aa1717</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 1:05am<b>thatchick1405</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 8:19pm<b>michaelf461</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 10:17pm<b>Faithilicious123</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 10:26am<b>Prerogative</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 4:12am<b>andy594328</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 2:37am<b>jgilmanx13</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 4:53am

Empyree's FML badges

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You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.


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Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of Empyree's badges

Empyree's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up to a loud crashing in the middle of the night. I went to investigate, but found nothing amiss. Nothing except an axe firmly wedged in my front door, that is. It's safe to say that I have no clue who did it, and that I needed a fresh pair of underwear. FML

by nopissleft / 12/20/2013 at 4:05pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Miscellaneous

Today, at my job as a night janitor, at which I work alone, I saw an old man enter a bathroom. When I went to investigate, it was completely empty. I'm now scared to work. FML

by scared shitless / 12/10/2013 at 4:50am / United States (California) / Work

Today, my wicked mother has been with us for a week. She's already thrown away my daughter's favorite toy, broke my computer, scratched my oak table, stained my most expensive shirt, peed in our bed, and called the attention of the cops by staring at kids in school. She's staying for three months. FML

by longlongwinter / 12/05/2013 at 11:50am / United Kingdom (Southampton) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my kittens hunted and killed their first prey. My hamster. FML

by Chatons / 12/05/2013 at 1:52am / Switzerland / Animals

Today, I got paper thrown at me because I didn't agree with my classmate's conspiracy theory that Brian Griffin's death was planned by the illuminati. FML

by Amy / 12/05/2013 at 12:25am / Australia (South Australia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I watched a little girl laugh while giving bread to some pigeons at a bus stop. A bus then arrived. All the pigeons moved out of the away, except one. Its head got crushed by a wheel, and some blood splattered onto the little girl's shoes, who then screamed. With laughter. FML

by B_and_W / 11/21/2013 at 6:35am / France / Kids

Today, I met a fellow Star Wars fan. We began enthusiastically talking about how almost no one our age knows the good old classics anymore. I was referring to the original trilogy; she was talking about the ones with Jar Jar Binks. FML

by StarWarsGeek / 11/21/2013 at 1:00am / United States / Love

Today, my friends started calling me "Soberman" because I recently gave up alcohol and have a Doberman. Normally, I wouldn't mind the nickname, but they call me Soberman everywhere. My new boss now thinks it's because I AM an alcoholic. FML

by juice723 / 11/20/2013 at 6:09am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I learned that no matter how much of a nerd a girl claims to be, she is not ready for you to speak Klingon during sex. FML

by Anonymous / 11/19/2013 at 10:42pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up and went to the bathroom, only to find my dad sitting on the toilet, blind drunk. He screamed "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" at me. I just wanted to shave. FML

by :/ / 11/05/2013 at 4:01pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, some kid asked me if I was Mexican. After I explained to him that I was actually Venezuelan, he simply snorted and said, "That's the same f*cking thing. If you speak Spanish then you're Mexican." FML

by Rinelric1998 / 10/30/2013 at 10:59pm / United States (North Carolina) / Kids

Today, while having a serious talk with my father, he said, "Son, you're only alive because of a faulty, off-brand condom." FML

by my honest father / 07/10/2013 at 12:33pm / United States (Kansas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my daughter found out what happens when my husband watches Mythbusters and doesn't heed the disclaimer to "Not try this at home." He feels bad about her cut face, but says he's proud he can throw a playing card that hard. FML

by Married2handsome / 06/16/2013 at 7:58pm / United States (Florida) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML

by Anonymous / 06/07/2013 at 3:10am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, I caught my 14-year-old daughter stealing alcohol from me. After berating her for half-an-hour I finally said, "At least you're not doing drugs." She gave me a guilty smile and sheepishly said, "At least I'm not a prostitute?" FML

by prostitott / 05/04/2013 at 3:22am / Kids