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Emmaisobel

Offline (the 02/12/2015 at 8:06pm) | Search for a member

Emmaisobel

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2079
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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Emmaisobel's page activity

Visits<b>Steve95401</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 11:40pm<b>JacCat</b> - the 03/27/2013 at 4:47am

Fucked!<b>Steve95401</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 4:40am

Emmaisobel's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

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Emmaisobel's favorite FMLs

Today, my science teacher decided not to recommend me for an honors science class for next year. The reason? Last week, I made the mistake of asking whether spray tans give vitamins in the same way as the sun. FML

#21349372
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14703) - you deserved it (43509)

On 02/03/2015 at 10:53pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my dad and I were having a conversation about boneless chicken. He told me that they are raised boneless, going into detail, and I bought every word of it. Not until he started laughing did I realize how gullible I really am. I'm 22. FML

#21344889
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15237) - you deserved it (25619)

On 01/27/2015 at 12:43am - misc - by katrina2d (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my mom paid me a surprise visit me at my university dorm. She ended up rifling through my stuff and started to pull out a box from on top of my wardrobe. Before I could stop her, it slipped and fell. Today's forecast: 100% chance of dildo rain. FML

#21338507
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31854) - you deserved it (4527)

On 01/16/2015 at 8:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was having some rare good sex with my husband, when he suddenly said "I'm fuckin' BORED," and pulled out so he could go play his video games. FML

#21303901
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38856) - you deserved it (4338)

On 11/22/2014 at 1:18pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland (Kilkenny)

Today, I had to babysit both my neighbor's 3-year-old daughter and my very pregnant cat. I left the room briefly, only to come back to a traumatized 3-year-old crying in horror as my cat gave birth in front of her. FML

#21303819
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32547) - you deserved it (3766)

On 11/22/2014 at 10:34am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Maine)

Today, I was selling winter-themed cookies at my university. I cheerfully asked a girl if she would like to buy cookies to support peer tutoring. Her response? "I don't eat food." FML

#21303227
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31558) - you deserved it (3537)

On 11/21/2014 at 8:51am - misc - by UTRejected (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was getting to second base with a really hot guy, but I couldn't stop laughing when he said my boobs were "soft like cake." He got so embarrassed that he lost his boner. FML

#21303170
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33335) - you deserved it (9202)

On 11/21/2014 at 4:56am - intimacy - by weirdthingtosay (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, while using a public toilet, a guy started pissing beside me at the urinal. The breach of bathroom etiquette then escalated to him taking a long look down at me and saying "Nice sack, dude." followed by him finishing up and leaving without even washing his hands. FML

#21302695
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29303) - you deserved it (2274)

On 11/20/2014 at 11:35am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, on our second date, the unemployed guy I'm seeing tried to convince me to open a joint bank account in our name. FML

#21299619
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32869) - you deserved it (4508)

On 11/15/2014 at 2:58pm - love - by back to cock-hunting (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I got home and found my wife cuddling with the dog and our new kitten. Both the cat and my wife hissed at me when I tried to join in. FML

#21298618
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33255) - you deserved it (3853)

On 11/13/2014 at 9:14pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend bought us plane tickets to Mexico for our "Honeymoon". This would be nice if he had proposed and if we'd been dating for longer than 2 weeks. FML

#21297437
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34661) - you deserved it (3278)

On 11/12/2014 at 12:21am - love - by anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, like any other day since that stupid movie Frozen came out, people have been asking me if I want to build a snowman, like they're the funniest people on the planet. My name is Elsa. FML

#21297408
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44189) - you deserved it (3859)

On 11/11/2014 at 11:34pm - work - by elsatheannoyed (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I thought I felt my cellphone vibrating. Turned out it was just my girlfriend letting out a vicious fart against my leg. FML

#21296102
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36144) - you deserved it (5369)

On 11/10/2014 at 9:28am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Berlin)

Today, I sat my son down for a talk about how he's been too lazy to brush his teeth lately. I said "Son, we need to have a chat about oral hygiene." He rolled his eyes, sighed, and said he already knew to clean "it" before a girl went down on him, and asked if he could go already. FML

#21295420
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39243) - you deserved it (5145)

On 11/09/2014 at 1:23pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, I excitedly told my mom that I'm pregnant with my second child. She shot back, "You know what's a REAL achievement? Jacking your dad off in church last week without anyone noticing. Aim higher." I really didn't need to know that. FML

#21294899
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41548) - you deserved it (3793)

On 11/08/2014 at 6:02pm - kids - by jennabee97 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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