Emma_91

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Emma_91

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 3 November 1991 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 53701
  • Number of comments : 299
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Emma_91 : Skater :)

Emma_91's page activity

Visits<b>URBeingLied2</b> - the 05/10/2016 at 3:48pm<b>_kristaaxo</b> - the 08/31/2015 at 2:21am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 3:00pm<b>karacakal2</b> - the 07/08/2015 at 5:35am<b>tchatfield9413</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 1:21pm<b>FaduFai</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 4:22am<b>daffyduck16</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 9:58am<b>mariusakke</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 4:34pm<b>jaydoug92</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 1:56am<b>dying_to_know</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 9:25am<b>Elgaard</b> - the 05/25/2014 at 3:43am<b>seninaa</b> - the 02/15/2014 at 6:36am<b>DedicatedNova</b> - the 10/01/2013 at 11:56pm<b>hazerdagreek</b> - the 10/01/2013 at 12:26am<b>mariepastyglue</b> - the 08/24/2013 at 5:47am<b>Cindy_Smiles</b> - the 07/29/2013 at 12:37pm<b>JFloUnknown</b> - the 06/24/2013 at 5:12pm<b>zkimlinger6661</b> - the 04/19/2013 at 8:45am

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 9:00pm<b>karacakal2</b> - the 07/08/2015 at 11:35am

Emma_91's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Emma_91's favorite FMLs

Today, my parents had a fight, which is a pretty normal occurrence at our house. But today, they fought over an orange. Dad is now sitting in his bedroom with the aforementioned orange. FML

by Roida / 10/26/2009 at 6:15am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, my cat managed to lock my dad and me outside of our house. FML

by Anonymous / 10/21/2009 at 10:58pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I got an email from the company that manages my cat's microchip informing me that I had to update my information that had been entered by the local Humane Society. Apparently, they listed my cat "Coral" as the owner, and me as the pet. To change it, they needed the cat's signature. FML

by APetsPet / 10/05/2009 at 3:23pm / United States (Florida) / Animals

Today, my girlfriend told me she lost her phone and not to call or text her. After about three hours, I text her phone, asking if she found it yet. I got a reply, saying "Nope." FML

by dumbass / 10/01/2009 at 4:07pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, in the middle of the night, I was punched in the face by my frightened girlfriend, who had just been awoken by her own fart. FML

by P0wned / 09/29/2009 at 5:21pm / France (Bretagne) / Love

Today, I was locked out of my house so I texted my cousin to come over and help me get in. She came over, stood on a chair and lifted me through the smallest unlocked window possible. Sadly, this was my bathroom window and I ended up head-first into my toilet. FML

by GodDaughter / 09/19/2009 at 8:08pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, after spending 20 minutes every day working on my abs for the last month and feeling pretty good about how they were looking, I received the first comment about them. A girl poked them and said 'squish'. FML

by Anonymous / 09/11/2009 at 10:51am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was hurrying for the bus home from work. It was raining and I had my umbrella up. As I hurried by two women, I felt my umbrella hit one of them on the head. I turned to apologise and saw her standing with her hands on her newly bald head. My umbrella had lifted her wig off her head. FML

by Karen / 08/31/2009 at 10:48am / United Kingdom (London) / Transportation

Today, I lazily answered the door in my pajamas. It was my elderly neighbor asking to borrow a can opener. Despite the strange and unwarranted scowl she was giving me I obliged. It wasn't until after she had left that I notice my penis was completely sticking out through the flap in my pants. FML

by Anonymous / 08/27/2009 at 3:28pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got my first tattoo. It's a large broadsword which runs the length of my spine. I went home to show it off and learned that the hilt on my neck looks just like a penis when the rest of it is covered with my shirt. FML

by damnit / 08/25/2009 at 2:44am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous

Today, when I opened the door to my room at night, I saw this big menacing thing staring right at me. I gasped and my heart started racing. I apprehensively turned on the lights, and I realized that it was the semi-deflated Spongebob balloon that has been in my room for weeks. FML

by Scared / 08/23/2009 at 2:19am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 6 year old daughter somehow learned about sex. She also had the open house at her school where she meets her new teachers. When the teacher asked where she came from, she said, "My daddy's happy sacks." FML

by Ben / 08/21/2009 at 5:28pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was playing catch with my 6 year old cousin in the garden, when he demanded a piggy back. Trying to be the good cousin, I did so and he soon shouts "Run! Run!" so I do so. Suddenly he shouts "STOP! My winky's gone pointy". I gave my 6 year old cousin an erection. FML

by Girl / 08/18/2009 at 8:23pm / United Kingdom (Hampshire) / Intimacy

Today, I walked in on my husband in our room completely naked. At first I thought he was waiting for me so we could have sex. He hadn't seen me yet, so I started to undress too to surprise him. Then I saw that he had drawn a face on his penis and he was talking to it. FML

by Anonymous / 08/18/2009 at 1:37am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend updated her Facebook status when I was with her. No, let me correct myself. Today, my girlfriend updated her Facebook status when I was in her. FML

by Anonymous / 08/16/2009 at 2:53pm / United States (California) / Intimacy