Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Emi1y

Online | Search for a member

Emi1y

187Fucked!

Emi1yEmi1y
  • Town/Country : Redwood, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 30 July 1998 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1427
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 20 posted

About Emi1y : Hello there;)

-- I'm Emily!

-- I'm fluent in sarcasm, sign language, and English!

-- I am extremely into nerds (weird, I know.)

-- Now a senior in an online high school

-- Living in Texas but from New York State (No, not the city, but the upstate part near the Canadian border where there's a lot of farm land!)

-- My favorite TV shows are Teen Wolf, Awkward, American Horror Story, The Walking Dead, Sons of Anarchy, and Breaking Bad!

-- My favorites movies are The Wolf of Wall Street, any Batman movie, The Last House on the Left, The Heat, Forrest Gump, and Pitch Perfect 1 and 2.

-- Hunting, fishing, anything that takes place outdoors... I love all that good stuff.

-- I shoot a Panzer V crossbow.

Go ahead, send me a message! Or don't, that's cool too! Continue on, loves! ✌🏼️👌🏼

Emi1y's page activity

Visits<b>Mcstud1y</b> - 3 hours ago<b>sswagyP</b> - 5 hours ago<b>Tarek_Youssef</b> - 12 hours ago<b>reshab911</b> - 17 hours ago<b>ncbeach22</b> - yesterday at 4:34pm<b>chager59</b> - yesterday at 2:30am<b>G_Cargo</b> - yesterday at 10:55pm<b>domclark94</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 4:54pm<b>mynameischarles</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 3:53pm<b>LERother</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 10:52am<b>balboa_2</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 9:55pm<b>ForGodAndMusic</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 6:09pm<b>jk_waks23</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 1:27am<b>deadpool69</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 6:44pm<b>XxDanno316xX</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 7:58am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 6:32am<b>313USMC1775</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 12:35am<b>Etched</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 10:49pm

Fucked!<b>Mcstud1y</b> - just now<b>G_Cargo</b> - yesterday at 9:55pm<b>deadpool69</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 12:45am<b>sswagyP</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 10:08pm<b>fmyhardon</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 1:57am<b>ttoill3</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 9:33pm<b>BananaCoconutty</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 8:11am<b>hallieee</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 5:03am<b>jk_waks23</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 4:40am<b>313USMC1775</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 9:42pm<b>thatguynamedsky</b> - the 07/17/2015 at 10:23pm<b>MalekiMaker99</b> - the 07/17/2015 at 6:12am<b>ForGodAndMusic</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 7:39pm<b>XxDanno316xX</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 1:51pm<b>alyak98</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 3:05am<b>wellimaginger</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 8:28am<b>Amitsagar</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 8:15am<b>balboa_2</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 9:03am

Emi1y's FML badges

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of Emi1y's badges

Emi1y's favorite FMLs

Today, my parents sent me to the hospital because they thought I had diabetes. One of the symptoms is that you a pee a lot. The only reason I go to the bathroom so often is so I can masturbate. FML

#21449844
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6838) - you deserved it (9283)

On 07/31/2015 at 1:38am - intimacy - by doodoobref - United States (Arizona)

Today, as if having an old man shit on the floor of the busy restaurant I work at wasn't bad enough, my manager made a video commentating over the camera footage of me discovering said giant pile of shit, and shared it with the entire staff. This is going to haunt me forever. FML

Today, I had to listen to my grandma talk about how she's "allergic" to toilet paper, and how she lets nature "take care of it". FML

#21449508
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16571) - you deserved it (1063)

On 07/30/2015 at 11:30am - health - by WhatTheFuck - United States (Illinois)

Today, I woke up on the couch and realized I had fallen asleep while doing laundry. Ran to the laundry room, and found all my clothes gone. I really wish I hadn't been doing a load of all my pants. FML

#21449249
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17162) - you deserved it (2239)

On 07/29/2015 at 9:50pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, at a baseball game, I smiled and waved at the little girl in front of me. She cried. FML

Today, I had to wait thirty minutes after closing to check out a lady who was purchasing 20 different styles of curtains. I asked what she would be doing with them all, and she replied that she would be bringing 19 of them back tomorrow, as she didn't know which would match. FML

#21448838
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22174) - you deserved it (1424)

On 07/28/2015 at 11:04pm - work - by jlmbull - United States (Michigan)

Today, I finally hooked up with my longtime crush. I told all my friends about it, because of course I was really excited. Until later that night, when he texted me, telling me not to tell anyone what had happened, and that it was a one time deal. Oh, and right after that, he asked me for nudes. FML

Today, I told my coworker who I have been crushing on for a while, that I really enjoyed our time last night. I immediately realized that the time we spent last night was in my sex dream. FML

#21438922
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28172) - you deserved it (8537)

On 07/09/2015 at 7:20am - intimacy - by who_cares - United States (California)

Today, while lifeguarding over children at work, I started thinking about my girlfriend and got a hard on. Before I realized it, I saved a kid and then hopped out of the pool next to a 5 year old in front of my managers and a little over 50 patrons with a raging boner. My HR meeting is tomorrow. FML

#21437372
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25864) - you deserved it (6617)

On 07/06/2015 at 1:28pm - intimacy - by notacreep - United States (California)

Today, I was having a dream about Chris Pratt. Instead of having a sexy dream that I would have enjoyed, I dreamt he was a supervisor at my work. He kept telling me how much I sucked. FML

#21437326
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25653) - you deserved it (2844)

On 07/06/2015 at 11:14am - intimacy - by BrittUnicorn - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I found out the only reason why a friend of mine even bothered talking to me. He thought that I'd sleep with him if he was nice enough. FML

#21437177
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24142) - you deserved it (2150)

On 07/06/2015 at 1:30am - intimacy - by I'm_Not_Interested - United States (Nevada)

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. All the magic vanished when I kept queefing every time he thrust into me. We made it about 10 seconds before he broke down into hysterical laughter and lost his boner. FML

#21436148
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27984) - you deserved it (3713)

On 07/04/2015 at 1:02am - intimacy - by alison (woman) - United States

Today, my extremely religious mom ranted at me, saying I'd only bought an electric toothbrush so I could masturbate with it. I'm a guy. FML

#21435969
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27101) - you deserved it (1831)

On 07/03/2015 at 5:29pm - intimacy - by but cum to think of it... (man) -

Today, my long-distance boyfriend came to see me and told me that he had a surprise for me. I was excited at the idea of a romantic gesture, but forgot about it until he arrived and things began heating up. As I was removing his pants, I said, "Ooh, you shaved!" to which he replied, "Surprise!" FML

#21435204
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24126) - you deserved it (3771)

On 07/02/2015 at 1:53am - intimacy - by mirandale (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my dad texted me, saying "My dicks so hard 4 u". I'm desperately hoping he meant to send that to his girlfriend instead. FML

#21434895
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29431) - you deserved it (1785)

On 07/01/2015 at 2:56pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) -



FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie replies #1
  • Hello all you crybabies, from Land's End to John o' Groats. Yes, I'm finally here my lovelies. Since last week, my inbox hasn't stopped humming with the noise of new mail dropping into it, letters full…

Friday 31 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: