Emelka

Search for a member

Offline (the 04/01/2015 at 8:00am)

Emelka

8Fucked!

Emelka
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 15 August 1995 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1120
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Emelka : Just a college student, who enjoys reading about other people's misfortunes

Emelka's page activity

Visits<b>Urpoppy</b> - the 02/14/2016 at 11:03pm<b>TheLastCenturion</b> - the 12/17/2015 at 5:03pm<b>RA91</b> - the 08/15/2015 at 5:34pm<b>jaakeeyy1</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 8:34am<b>itsalie</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 11:14pm<b>EclipseCandy6</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 3:02am<b>Exodiafinder687</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 5:51pm<b>FloWPs</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 3:22pm<b>TJJOE</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 7:02pm<b>papygeorges</b> - the 02/05/2015 at 10:41pm<b>amerr</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 7:13pm<b>ZachHatesPeople</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 5:23pm<b>soak_25</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 1:18pm<b>hotheadslav</b> - the 01/20/2015 at 4:55pm<b>James_is_Mexican</b> - the 01/03/2015 at 4:16am<b>enter______name</b> - the 01/03/2015 at 1:14am<b>FoxHunt9119</b> - the 01/03/2015 at 12:08am<b>Caninefreak</b> - the 01/02/2015 at 4:32pm

Fucked!<b>TheLastCenturion</b> - the 12/17/2015 at 11:05pm<b>RA91</b> - the 08/15/2015 at 11:34pm<b>Exodiafinder687</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 7:37pm<b>soak_25</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 7:18pm<b>mikethekid</b> - the 12/30/2014 at 3:59pm<b>f_ck_U</b> - the 12/04/2014 at 3:35pm<b>spockadelic</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 2:42am<b>seventoeight</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 1:53am

Emelka's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

See all of Emelka's badges

Emelka's favorite FMLs

Today, I made a speech in front of my entire graduating class and their families, despite my fear of public speaking. It seemed to go well and I got a big round of applause at the end. Then I panicked and instead of waving, I lifted my arm straight out in a Hitler salute. FML

by oooooops / 03/22/2015 at 8:32pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband again lost his keys. It's a daily struggle to find them. This time they were in an ice cube, literally. He said he must have accidentally put them in there when making ice. He's going to be the father of my future children. FML

by wife / 02/21/2015 at 10:47pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, a guy attacked me and tried to steal my bag. I tried to defend myself by biting him as hard as I could. I then woke up to my husband screaming in pain. FML

by poncho55 / 02/21/2015 at 3:28pm / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend was making lunch and asked me to pass her the peanut butter. I'll never know why, but as I handed it to her I said the first thing that came to mind: "I really want a dog." She looked at me in horror, then told me to get out of her house. FML

by Anonymous / 01/10/2015 at 3:00pm / United States (Vermont) / Love

Today, I got to experience the horror of my wife's pregnancy. She woke me up abruptly at 5 am by throwing up all over me due to her terrible morning sickness, then ate pickles covered in mayonnaise, and later dropped to the floor sobbing when I told her we were out of dog food. FML

by Anonymous / 12/11/2014 at 4:47pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, I had a dream that I kicked the moon like a soccer ball. It started swearing in my boyfriend's voice. That part wasn't a dream. FML

by Anonymous / 11/17/2014 at 5:00pm / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend broke the bed pretending to be a caterpillar. FML

by tine / 11/16/2014 at 4:44am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, my dad told me someday I'll find a man who wants a nice lumberjack for a wife. FML

by axewoman / 10/17/2014 at 4:14am / Love

Today, as I was lying in my bed eating my dinner, my roommate says to me: "I don't know how to say this, but we need more towels. The room is flooding." FML

by youonlyneed2squares / 09/24/2014 at 12:10am / Miscellaneous

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend with a ring from Kay Jewelers. She saw the box, started giggling, whispered, "'Kay", and then started laughing so hard at her joke she had to excuse herself. FML

by very punny / 09/02/2014 at 11:18pm / United States (Maryland) / Love

Today, after a long silent and awkward pause after asking my girlfriend's dad if I can take her on holiday for Christmas, he looked me dead in the eyes and said "No, you may not impregnate my daughter." FML

by Dafuq happen there / 08/23/2014 at 3:34am / South Africa / Intimacy

Today, at work, an old man was having trouble using his credit card at the checkout. I told him to "just stick it in", and he replied with "I love it when you talk dirty to me." The whole line at the checkout laughed. FML

by Anonymous / 08/03/2014 at 1:16am / Australia (Western Australia) / Work

Today, I'm moving. While packing, I realized I hadn't seen my cat in a few hours. I called her and realized she was inside one of the hundreds of boxes in my house. I accidentally packed my cat. FML

by Anonymous / 05/14/2014 at 4:43pm / United States (South Carolina) / Animals

Today, I was driving along when I noticed a kid struggling to push his car up the crest of a hill. I jumped out to help him, and he acted surprised to see me. Once we got the car over the hill, it rolled on down. I then saw that no one was actually in the driver's seat. I'd helped a vandal. FML

Today, I presented my child with the classic "Who came first, the chicken or the egg?" conundrum. In return, I got a detailed lecture on how birds evolved from dinosaurs, how life was created in the sea and an explanation about evolution. I got schooled by a 9 year old. FML

by Evolution mama / 02/05/2014 at 2:52pm / Iceland (Gullbringusysla) / Kids