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Offline (the 09/03/2016 at 7:51pm)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 24 September 1998 (18 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2475
  • Number of comments : 92
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About Eliseopwns : I'm a cyclist, swimmer, and huge geek... that's about it. I love video games, anime, and movies.

Steam, Xbox, and PS are all Eliseopwns, add me so we can get a gaming sesh going B)

Eliseopwns's page activity

Visits<b>DeliMeat08</b> - the 11/20/2016 at 7:06pm<b>LegoCarpet</b> - the 11/17/2016 at 2:11am<b>Robby2448</b> - the 09/26/2016 at 8:50pm<b>SpartyOnWayne</b> - the 09/24/2016 at 5:41pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 09/24/2016 at 12:52am<b>BLXCKLIGHT</b> - the 09/17/2016 at 12:50am<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 09/08/2016 at 4:01pm<b>thatoneguy255</b> - the 09/04/2016 at 9:19pm<b>angrykid11</b> - the 08/19/2016 at 3:34am<b>missa8604</b> - the 08/17/2016 at 10:08pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 08/13/2016 at 11:00pm<b>jsad03</b> - the 08/09/2016 at 12:44am<b>Chibster</b> - the 07/25/2016 at 8:42pm<b>MitchRapp</b> - the 07/12/2016 at 3:01pm<b>Diamond_don</b> - the 07/10/2016 at 5:12am<b>janfleury</b> - the 07/10/2016 at 12:19am<b>dbpdp</b> - the 06/25/2016 at 7:06pm<b>chewsef</b> - the 06/17/2016 at 11:13pm

Fucked!<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 09/08/2016 at 10:01pm<b>iwillreapyou</b> - the 06/06/2016 at 6:38pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/17/2016 at 3:02pm<b>BananEnigma</b> - the 04/07/2016 at 12:31am<b>nfedrichy</b> - the 12/09/2015 at 1:10pm<b>SorrowsReward</b> - the 11/07/2015 at 9:08am<b>oops6663</b> - the 09/26/2015 at 4:38pm<b>carebear1228</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 4:41am<b>kunal222</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 3:26am<b>Kevinmeowbeanz</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 12:35am<b>badboy8125</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 2:24pm<b>DoomSkuller</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 11:41pm<b>emmatheamazingx</b> - the 05/23/2015 at 3:25pm<b>Acerhawk</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 3:37am<b>ToxicPlant</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 3:05am<b>apineapple</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 3:15am<b>I_Am_A_Rock</b> - the 05/03/2015 at 1:06am<b>lochiamochia</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 6:44pm

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Eliseopwns's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to get a colonoscopy. Which wouldn't have been so bad if they had removed the camera from my rectum before waking me up. FML

by Camera / 04/17/2015 at 12:56am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I found out that turkeys can fly. I also found out how much a new windshield costs. FML

by Anonymous / 04/12/2015 at 2:29pm / United States (Vermont) / Money

Today, my dad turned off our cable. The reason? His favorite character from The Walking Dead died. FML

by jfields2474 / 03/16/2015 at 12:37am / United States (California) / Geek

Today, while in the waiting room at the dentist's, some kids were running and screaming. One of them stopped right beside me, turned to face me, and threw up in my lap. FML

by alostr1 / 02/06/2015 at 12:32pm / United States / Health

Today, both my female flatmate and my gay male flatmate have got their boyfriends round. They've both stuck 'Do Not Disturb' signs on their bedroom doors and are both playing music which doesn't quite muffle the sounds of what they're up to. I haven't had a date in over six months. FML

by fukinlonely / 01/12/2015 at 7:53am / United Kingdom / Love

Today, my boyfriend gave me a long, philosophical explanation about how he doesn't love me, but we should still have sex. FML

by Anonymous / 12/07/2014 at 11:35pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I realized how bad my depression has gotten when I caught myself fantasizing about suicide while having sex with my husband. FML

by Anonymous / 12/16/2013 at 2:55am / Intimacy

Today, I had to explain to my son why it is not okay to slap old women's butts. He's 16. FML

by mandm / 09/24/2013 at 5:01pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I was waitressing at work, when a woman decided to change her baby's nappy on a table. One moment I was asking her to leave, and the next, she was shoving a fully shat-out nappy into my hands. She asked me to get rid of it and fetch her baby wipes. FML

by aisbash / 09/01/2013 at 3:35pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, I got my girlfriend to play Smash Bros Brawl with me. As it was her first time, I set up handicaps to give her at least a shot at winning. She won, quite handily. A little irritated at this, I took off the handicaps and tried again. She beat me even faster. FML

by Loser / 08/21/2013 at 11:17am / United States / Geek

Today, I walked in on my daughter hugging and sobbing into her Edward Cullen cut-out. She won't tell me what's wrong, yet she can confide in a creepy fictional stalker whose facial expression is locked to "chronically constipated". Where did I go wrong? FML

by So little trust. / 07/12/2013 at 7:18pm / Canada (Alberta) / Kids

Today, the extremely uncooperative client whom I'm trying to defend in court sent me a letter in which he threatened to sue me, because charging him for my services supposedly violates his "constipational rights". FML

by harrington61 / 05/19/2013 at 5:27pm / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, I was feeling down about being the only single person out of a group of eight friends. Out of desperation, I made up "Jonny", a hot fitness instructor whom I recently hooked up with. Now "Jonny" and I have been invited to a friends' night out. FML

by forever alone / 05/12/2013 at 5:09pm / United Kingdom / Love

Today, my boyfriend bought me a silver necklace. I have a silver allergy, but I thanked him anyway and encouraged him to return it. I found out later that he knew about my allergy all along and bought it on purpose so he could return it, get a refund, and still look good. FML

by Anonymous / 05/09/2013 at 3:12pm / Norway (Oslo) / Love

Today, my fiancée broke off our engagement. For some bizarre reason, she'd hidden a pair of expensive boots and her iPad underneath our ride-on mower. I turned the mower on and destroyed both without realizing it. According to her, the fault is all mine. FML

by Wow. Really? / 04/29/2013 at 2:07pm / United States (Ohio) / Love