Eion

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Eion

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4146
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Eion : me ke aloha asshole

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Eion's page activity

Visits<b>Oddire</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 5:17pm<b>jackalsssss</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 12:56pm<b>darilingLo</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 7:12pm<b>ChloeMiller18</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 2:06am<b>kylie31</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 5:20pm<b>BklynChick</b> - the 04/04/2014 at 6:55pm<b>SKYE2</b> - the 04/03/2014 at 11:31pm<b>breakinlegs</b> - the 04/03/2014 at 9:13pm<b>PaigeLeeAnn11</b> - the 04/03/2014 at 12:45am<b>ksks1234</b> - the 03/29/2014 at 4:01pm<b>erinblackk</b> - the 03/09/2014 at 3:54pm<b>Hilda_x</b> - the 03/04/2014 at 9:07am<b>ThatOtherMegan</b> - the 02/19/2014 at 5:47pm<b>MomentoMori</b> - the 02/15/2014 at 10:06am<b>Izzyduck07</b> - the 02/13/2014 at 11:34pm<b>ToriaButtcheek</b> - the 02/12/2014 at 4:18am<b>KaseyAlex</b> - the 02/04/2014 at 12:29am<b>HopelesslyCiara5</b> - the 01/31/2014 at 4:09pm

Eion's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

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Eion's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom stopped playing badminton with me because she claimed I was too aggressive. Apparently winning, playing by the rules, and smashing is considered aggressive. FML

by moms a baby / 03/30/2014 at 10:44pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was babysitting my 4-month-old niece at the park, when a woman came up to me and said, "Don't worry, dear. You'll get your figure back soon." FML

by notamum / 03/28/2014 at 10:07pm / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went on a trip to Cleveland. After getting lunch, my brother and I started walking back to my car. Halfway there, we were jumped, threatened with a knife, and yelled at to hand over our money. The only thing my brother could do was ask our mugger, "Uh, what gender are you?" FML

by Anonymous / 03/28/2014 at 10:00pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I spent my first night at my boyfriend's place, and my first night sleeping beside him. I woke up in the early hours to him holding me and muttering in his sleep something like "surprise fisting". I'm beyond terrified. FML

by cockfist / 03/04/2014 at 5:41pm / United Kingdom (Glasgow City) / Intimacy

Today, while walking through Wal-Mart I noticed a cute employee. With a sudden burst of confidence, I walked right up to him, intending to ask for his number. Instead, I looked him in the eye and said, "Excuse me sir, how much do you know about bedsheets?" and then ran. FML

by booksandshadows / 03/04/2014 at 4:06am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I have exactly 204 snowflakes saved onto my computer, all of which I made on this snowflake-making website. This is what my life has come to. FML

by ealovan / 03/03/2014 at 12:18am / United States (Iowa) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got my first massage. At the end, the masseuse made a gesture indicating which way the exit was. After having had her hands all over my body for the past hour, I thought the gesture was indicative of a goodbye hug. Things got awkward really fast. FML

by AlwaysAwkward / 03/02/2014 at 9:30pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was shopping for dresses when my fiancé turned into what I can only call a groomzilla. He told me and my maid of honor that we need to lose weight because he's not "paying all this money for a pair of fatties to not look good." FML

by Ms. Piggy / 03/02/2014 at 2:09pm / United States (Tennessee) / Money

Today, I found out that my lover and boyfriend of over 5 years has me listed in his contacts as "Vagina". FML

by ouch / 03/02/2014 at 3:44am / United States (Iowa) / Love

Today, I set up a small social gathering for a few friends. One of them didn't have a ride, so the others, who'd already shown up, went to go give him a ride. After no sign of them for a whole hour, I called to see what was wrong. They went out to eat and completely forgot about me. FML

by Anonymous / 03/02/2014 at 12:03am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, after paying at the gas station, the cashier stuck out her hand, which was clenched into a fist. I thought she wanted a fist-bump, so I gave her one. She just stared back at me. Turns out she was just trying to give me my change. FML

by SarahNB / 03/01/2014 at 4:09pm / United States (Utah) / Money

Today, I finally finished making my daughter's wedding cake. When I checked on it later, I found a large slice had been cut out. I soon found out that my husband had instagrammed himself eating it, with the caption "#guiltypleasures". FML

by Anonymous / 01/31/2014 at 11:36am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. After a while, he started staring at my lady parts, and said my "vag looks like a mockingjay". He then stretched the lips apart like wings and made little "CA-CAW CA-CAW!" sounds. FML

by Goodyear / 01/19/2014 at 10:59pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend started whispering "blowjobbbb" into my ear while we were watching a movie. When I asked him what he was doing, he denied ever saying it and claimed it must have been a subliminal message in the movie. FML

by Subliminal message / 01/19/2014 at 6:21pm / Switzerland / Intimacy

Today, my grandfather told me that I was ugly. When my mom found out, she said that "old people are allowed to tell the truth". FML

by Pop / 01/14/2014 at 9:38pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous