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Offline (the 06/05/2015 at 10:43pm)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 17 August 1990 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 401
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Eggploint : ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Eggploint's page activity

Visits<b>Ramb0</b> - the 12/23/2015 at 2:02pm<b>lukelax</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 9:30am

Eggploint's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of Eggploint's badges

Eggploint's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband came too soon during sex. He then tried to pretend it didn't happen and continued. He humped me with a half-erect noodle for about seven minutes before I finally called him out. FML

by Evra / 04/16/2015 at 1:04am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was in the car with my 4-year-old sister and our puppy. Suddenly, she blurted out from the backseat, "I don't love you anymore." Shocked, I asked her to repeat herself. She looked me straight in the eye and said, "The puppy doesn't love you either." FML

by SadSister:( / 01/10/2015 at 7:15pm / United States / Kids

Today, I finally told my boyfriend that he's not very good at dirty talk. He does it every time we have sex and it always turns me off. He started crying. FML

by Nicole / 12/13/2014 at 10:20am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my mother requested that I return the $500 she had previously given me to help me pay for college. Her reasoning? "You work three jobs, you can afford it." I work three jobs because she decided buying herself a car was more important than my schooling. FML

Today, I was making love to my boyfriend. In the heat of the moment, I said his name. He immediately stopped, gave me a deadly serious look and said "Huh? What?" FML

by Anonymous / 10/24/2014 at 10:48pm / United States (Tennessee) / Intimacy

Today, I climbed onto my boyfriend's lap and sexily told him "It's getting hot in here," and started unbuttoning my shirt. He said "Oh," pushed me off him, and went to turn the ceiling fan on. FML

by gettinghotinhere / 10/17/2014 at 2:29pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was buying ingredients for a salad. I had only picked up a few cucumbers, when an elderly lady came up to me and murmured, "Make sure you use lots of lube, or that'll hurt. Been there, sweetheart." What the HELL? FML

by um... what the fuck, miss? / 08/02/2013 at 4:23pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, my 14-year-old step-daughter announced that she is 4 months pregnant. The father is my 15-year-old son. FML

by wdunn69733 / 10/11/2012 at 10:30am / United States (Georgia) / Kids

Today, my therapist clapped for me when I told her I'd made a friend. FML

by ohdang / 03/01/2012 at 12:12pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that as a supervisor, if you reprimand a female worker and end the conversation with "Now get back to making sandwiches," your boss will consider it sexism and suspend you. I work at Subway. FML

by MakeMeASandwich / 06/10/2011 at 1:01am / United States (Illinois) / Work

Today, I was about to propose. I got on my knee in front of my girlfriend and opened the box. My friend thought it would be funny to replace the ring with a condom. FML

by Catholicguy / 12/20/2009 at 3:14am / United States (California) / Love

Today, my five year old daughter was watching cartoons on TV. Then a Barbie commercial came on. My daughter sang along with the theme song "Be who you want to be, B-A-R-B-I-E." She then turned to me and said "Mom, I want to be a hooker." FML

by ....... / 06/23/2009 at 1:56pm / United States (Colorado) / Kids

Today, I was sitting in Science class and to my surprise I felt my pants suddenly becoming warm and wet. I looked behind me to see that 4 boys from my class had inserted a small funnel into my exposed buttcrack and where pouring the melted butter from the experiment into that area. FML

by Sarah / 03/10/2009 at 1:13pm / United Kingdom (Bolton) / Miscellaneous

Today, I finally broke my two year dry spell, but as she was putting on the condom, I came. She laughed from the time she was putting on her clothes to when she walked out the door. I don't think she's going to call back. FML

by theguy24 / 01/27/2009 at 7:47am / United States (Nebraska) / Intimacy