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Eggploint

Offline (the 06/05/2015 at 10:43pm) | Search for a member

Eggploint

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 17 August 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 202
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Eggploint : ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Eggploint's page activity

Visits<b>lukelax</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 9:30am

Eggploint's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of Eggploint's badges

Eggploint's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband came too soon during sex. He then tried to pretend it didn't happen and continued. He humped me with a half-erect noodle for about seven minutes before I finally called him out. FML

#21394468
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32410) - you deserved it (4929)

On 04/16/2015 at 1:04am - intimacy - by Evra (woman) - United States

Today, I was in the car with my 4-year-old sister and our puppy. Suddenly, she blurted out from the backseat, "I don't love you anymore." Shocked, I asked her to repeat herself. She looked me straight in the eye and said, "The puppy doesn't love you either." FML

#21334677
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29172) - you deserved it (2454)

On 01/10/2015 at 7:15pm - kids - by SadSister:( - United States

Today, I finally told my boyfriend that he's not very good at dirty talk. He does it every time we have sex and it always turns me off. He started crying. FML

#21316697
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35927) - you deserved it (6532)

On 12/13/2014 at 10:20am - intimacy - by Nicole (woman) - United States

Today, my mother requested that I return the $500 she had previously given me to help me pay for college. Her reasoning? "You work three jobs, you can afford it." I work three jobs because she decided buying herself a car was more important than my schooling. FML

Today, I was making love to my boyfriend. In the heat of the moment, I said his name. He immediately stopped, gave me a deadly serious look and said "Huh? What?" FML

#21284688
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31453) - you deserved it (3727)

On 10/24/2014 at 10:48pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I climbed onto my boyfriend's lap and sexily told him "It's getting hot in here," and started unbuttoning my shirt. He said "Oh," pushed me off him, and went to turn the ceiling fan on. FML

#21279866
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42966) - you deserved it (6333)

On 10/17/2014 at 2:29pm - intimacy - by gettinghotinhere - United States (California)

Today, I was buying ingredients for a salad. I had only picked up a few cucumbers, when an elderly lady came up to me and murmured, "Make sure you use lots of lube, or that'll hurt. Been there, sweetheart." What the HELL? FML

#20817265
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57064) - you deserved it (5539)

On 08/02/2013 at 4:23pm - misc - by um... what the fuck, miss? (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my 14-year-old step-daughter announced that she is 4 months pregnant. The father is my 15-year-old son. FML

#20111886
520 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75585) - you deserved it (8824)

On 10/11/2012 at 10:30am - kids - by wdunn69733 - United States (Georgia)

Today, my therapist clapped for me when I told her I'd made a friend. FML

#19195377
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28535) - you deserved it (3656)

On 03/01/2012 at 12:12pm - misc - by ohdang - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out that as a supervisor, if you reprimand a female worker and end the conversation with "Now get back to making sandwiches." your boss will consider it sexism and suspend you. I work at Subway. FML

#16589228
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52807) - you deserved it (8214)

On 06/10/2011 at 1:01am - work - by MakeMeASandwich (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was about to propose. I got on my knee in front of my girlfriend and opened the box. My friend thought it would be funny to replace the ring with a condom. FML

#6842155
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44452) - you deserved it (4032)

On 12/20/2009 at 3:14am - love - by Catholicguy (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was sitting in Science class and to my surprise I felt my pants suddenly becoming warm and wet. I looked behind me to see that 4 boys from my class had inserted a small funnel into my exposed buttcrack and where pouring the melted butter from the experiment into that area. FML

#260451
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (89419) - you deserved it (27107)

On 03/10/2009 at 1:13pm - misc - by Sarah - United Kingdom (Bolton)

Today, I finally broke my two year dry spell, but as she was putting on the condom, I came. She laughed from the time she was putting on her clothes to when she walked out the door. I don't think she's going to call back. FML

#2792
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40344) - you deserved it (8083)

On 01/27/2009 at 7:47am - intimacy - by theguy24 - United States (Nebraska)



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