About Ebola : you don't want to know
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Ebola's favorite FMLs
Today, my husband's ex-girlfriend is getting a restraining order on him. Turns out, for the past 2 years of our marriage, he has been trying to contact her and ditching work to stalk her. To top it all off, he told me not to come to court with him because he doesn't want her to see he downgraded. FML
by Anonymous / 04/19/2016 at 8:56pm / United States (California) / Love
by Coco / 04/19/2016 at 4:58pm / Denmark (Nordjylland) / Miscellaneous
by Notpunny / 04/18/2016 at 6:58pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
by j / 04/18/2016 at 6:24pm / United States / Intimacy
by empress gleskizor the third of glarkon / 04/18/2016 at 2:12pm / Hungary (Budapest) / Miscellaneous
Today, my mom finally noticed the joke file I have on my PC desktop called "bigcocklovespussy.jpg". It's just a cute picture of a chicken snuggling with a cat. She didn't actually open the file and just deleted it. She won't believe my explanation and grounded me for a month for "looking at porn". FML
by Anonymous / 04/17/2016 at 7:52am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, when I tried to break up with my girlfriend of 2 years, she had no idea we were even dating. She thought of all the movies, dinners and "sleep overs" I had with her was because we were such great friends. FML
by K.S.S. / 04/16/2016 at 10:24pm / United States (Indiana) / Love
Today, I started my period almost a week earlier than I expected to. I also happened to be at the beach with a guy that I really liked when it started. He was the one who noticed, and he informed me by saying that we couldn't go back in the water or we would be eaten by sharks. FML
by Unsuspecting / 04/16/2016 at 8:23am / United States / Health
by Anonymous / 04/16/2016 at 4:32am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I found out how acidic some of the chemicals I work with are. After a chemical shower, minor burns, and having to throw away my clothes due to a biohazard, I had the pleasure of running across the parking lot to my car, wearing only a lab coat around my waist. FML
by Anonymous / 04/15/2016 at 4:18pm / United States / Work
by never dip the wick in crazy / 04/15/2016 at 3:00pm / Romania / Love
Today, I was hauling cow shit. I had a car following me very closely, so I turned on the spreader to get them to back off. It was a cop. I got pulled over in a tractor for spraying cow shit on a cop car. FML
by farmingman / 04/14/2016 at 7:24pm / United States (Missouri) / Work
Today, while opening up to a few friends about how I was sexually abused as a child, one of them blurted "Pics or it didn't happen." How did the others react? With outrage? No, just with awkward chuckling. FML
by Anonymous / 04/13/2016 at 10:04am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
by SureDoesMakeAGirlFeelGood / 04/12/2016 at 9:45pm / Canada (Newfoundland) / Intimacy
Today, I went to take my permit test. I had been studying for months and was familiar with the whole book. When I sat down to take my test, I didn't recognize any of the questions. I went home and found out the book I used to study was the book my mom used to take her test in 1970. FML
by dk_2k16 / 04/12/2016 at 4:29pm / United States (Mississippi) / Work