Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Ebola

Online | Search for a member

Ebola

10Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 43521
  • Number of comments : 50
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Ebola : I never know what to write.

26 years old

Undergrad in biochem
Masters in biotechnology

I'm a research scientist

Ebola's page activity

Visits<b>carlfirebolt</b> - 4 hours ago<b>TheLostCauseFML</b> - 8 hours ago<b>lalala96</b> - 9 hours ago<b>acevango</b> - 17 hours ago<b>BellaBear90</b> - 22 hours ago<b>DBJ99</b> - yesterday at 2:01pm<b>Kataclysm97</b> - yesterday at 11:18am<b>delilablue95</b> - the 08/30/2015 at 10:08am<b>YBae</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 3:01pm<b>I_Like_Dogs</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 7:06pm<b>Caro97songs</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 12:16pm<b>lucythomson</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 6:08am<b>a_cool_guy</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 4:16pm<b>funneh1</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 11:50pm<b>LibertyLife20</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 12:14pm<b>imshadyxo</b> - the 08/05/2015 at 4:46am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 8:27am<b>MomentoMori</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 8:46pm

Fucked!<b>YBae</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 4:27pm<b>I_Like_Dogs</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 1:06am<b>imshadyxo</b> - the 08/05/2015 at 10:46am<b>CommentKing207</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 4:38pm<b>ashleyyeah</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 6:32am<b>OhWhoCares</b> - the 04/01/2015 at 9:05am<b>Purplesinger</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 4:36am<b>TiggyBonkers</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 11:23pm

Ebola's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Ebola's badges

Ebola's favorite FMLs

Today, a customer approached me, smiling and asked what kind of cheese was in our cheddar cheese balls. Thinking he was joking, I laughed and said "swiss." He ordered, found they were indeed cheddar cheese, and reported me. FML

Today, I went on a blind date. People always joke about how horrible Axe is, but this guy sprayed it on so thick that I genuinely had to fight to not retch the entire time. It was so bad that at one point I thought I was going to pass out. FML

#21456695
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21255) - you deserved it (1556)

On 08/16/2015 at 12:18pm - misc - by pvcnutcrackingdomqueen4u (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my girlfriend told me she wants to have sex with my ass. I'm not sure she's taking "no" for an answer, seeing as how she's keeping a dildo on her nightstand and is clearly waiting for me to fall asleep. FML

#21456687
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25739) - you deserved it (2600)

On 08/16/2015 at 11:49am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, I was kayaking with my family for my birthday, when we tipped over while going down a rocky cascade. My husband badly cut up his arm, and my car keys and my phone both went for a swim and never returned. Great birthday. FML

#21456651
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19002) - you deserved it (7605)

On 08/16/2015 at 8:39am - misc - by KeysToHappiness (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, we learned that our dog can run and urinate simultaneously. The entire house smells like piss. FML

#21456522
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21550) - you deserved it (1722)

On 08/15/2015 at 11:16pm - animals - by anonymous - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I had to fire an employee due to his staggering incompetence. The moment I said the F-word, he started fake-coughing, then loudly humming, then went to his desk and pretended not to hear anything I was saying. It took 3 of us to drag him out of the building kicking and screaming. FML

#21456323
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22574) - you deserved it (1645)

On 08/15/2015 at 11:47am - work - by bruised - United States (Florida)

Today, just as I was putting my contacts in, a gnat landed on it. Its guts got squished between my eyeball and the contact. FML

#21456316
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23239) - you deserved it (1594)

On 08/15/2015 at 11:20am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, it's been 2 days since my boyfriend "accidentally" slipped into the wrong hole while continuing to hammer me at full speed. I still can't poop or even walk right. FML

#21456278
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29246) - you deserved it (3562)

On 08/15/2015 at 5:32am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my husband decided he would rather be with his mistress than with me while I gave birth to our first child. FML

#21456262
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25812) - you deserved it (2031)

On 08/15/2015 at 4:22am - love - by MissyPants - United States (California)

Today, as I was driving, a bird swooped down, right in front of my car. I didn't have enough time to react, and so I had to listen to my wife cry the rest of the way home. She kept talking about how it bounced off the windshield and how it probably had a family. FML

#21456098
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22771) - you deserved it (2550)

On 08/14/2015 at 6:40pm - animals - by Wellthisishawkward - United States

Today, a cute guy approached me at a nightclub. I was really excited, until he drunkenly slurred "Babe, I'd suck the farts from your asshole!" and then threw up everywhere. FML

#21455978
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23342) - you deserved it (2119)

On 08/14/2015 at 12:50pm - misc - by Brooke (woman) - United States (California)

Today, at my grandmother's funeral, my senile grandfather kept asking me "Where's granny? I've been looking for her, but I can't find her." FML

#21455960
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30977) - you deserved it (1371)

On 08/14/2015 at 11:08am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Denmark

Today, my boyfriend asked me to start using a period tracker app so I can tell him which week of each month he needs to "stay the hell away" from me. FML

#21455940
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20976) - you deserved it (3393)

On 08/14/2015 at 9:19am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Today, my car went missing. My sister constantly asks to borrow it, so I called her and asked if she had it. She swore blind that she didn't, so I called the cops and reported it stolen. They soon caught her driving the stolen vehicle. She blames me and is now telling everyone I set her up to be arrested. FML

#21455905
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28217) - you deserved it (1639)

On 08/14/2015 at 6:57am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Ukraine (Donets'ka Oblast')

Today, I approached a hot female security guard and attempted to compliment her new tattoos. Instead of saying, "Nice tats", I ended up saying, "Nice tits". My HR meeting is tomorrow morning. FML

#21455888
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21964) - you deserved it (8711)

On 08/14/2015 at 5:35am - work - by babbling idiot - Canada



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: