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Ebola's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 03/23/2016 at 10:36am / United States (Virginia) / Health
Today, my stepmother started talking to me after a month of the silent treatment. When I asked her what I had done wrong, she replied, "Nothing, but do you know that feeling when you look at someone and you just want to choke them?" FML
by Stepmotherfucker / 03/23/2016 at 2:32am / Ukraine / Miscellaneous
Today, I was driving to work and I got a text from my girlfriend. She said she was breaking up with me. I was a little heartbroken, but I had to get on with my day. I got to work and my boss fired me. Turns out, my boss and girlfriend have been having an affair and she told him to fire me. FML
by Anonymous / 03/22/2016 at 9:36pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, while vacationing, a small boy asked to see the baby I was holding, wrapped in a blanket. I showed him, and his face reflexively scrunched up. The boy's mother came and apologized to me. Her face scrunched up too. FML
by NotAnUglyBaby / 03/22/2016 at 6:40pm / Mexico (Veracruz-Llave) / Holidays
by Oh / 03/22/2016 at 6:36pm / United States (North Carolina) / Love
by Anonymous / 03/22/2016 at 5:17pm / United States (California) / Kids
Today, I received a letter from an eBay seller for whom I recently left an honest, negative review. I don't know what I was expecting, but I certainly wasn't ready for what spilled out coating my jeans, shoes, and brand new carpet: Glitter. FML
by okaydisarray / 03/22/2016 at 4:23pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by pancaketits / 03/22/2016 at 11:33am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by BlueSteele220 / 03/22/2016 at 4:57am / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, after a DNA test and getting his sperm count checked, my husband still doesn't believe our son is his. He was kicked in the nuts several times as a child, something he believes has rendered him infertile. FML
by ifunnybatman / 03/22/2016 at 12:03am / United States (Georgia) / Kids
by Delicious / 03/20/2016 at 10:09pm / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
by billjoebob424 / 03/18/2016 at 9:18pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 03/18/2016 at 4:56pm / United States / Love
by drucle / 03/18/2016 at 8:49am / Denmark (Hovedstaden) / Health
Today, after asking my hubby for what seems the millionth time to stop shoving his finger into my bum crack, I thought it would be funny to give him a taste of his own medicine by doing it to him. Right as my finger was in his crack, he let loose a huge fart. FML
by Grimmy / 03/17/2016 at 4:12am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous