About Ebola : you don't want to know
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Ebola's favorite FMLs
Today, my wife got fired for leaving work early once again. She's been doing random "spot checks" for the past month, convinced that she'll catch me cheating on her. This paranoid crap is exactly why I'm filing for divorce. FML
by Anonymous / 02/20/2016 at 7:53am / United Kingdom (Merton) / Love
Today, I had to console my bawling 6-year-old son and explain that his sister was lying when she told him that when boys in our family turn 13, they turn into girls. I'm not sure who disappoints me more right now. FML
by jts / 02/20/2016 at 4:55am / United States (North Carolina) / Kids
by Eyeslick / 02/20/2016 at 2:42am / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous
by StudentAbroad / 02/18/2016 at 8:27am / Ukraine (Kyyiv) / Miscellaneous
Today, despite hints, suggestions, and even blatant criticism, my coworker refuses to believe he smells like rotten donkey nuts. He says he only needs to shower once a week, and that he doesn't believe in deodorant. I volunteered to do an extra autopsy today because the morgue smells better. FML
by ragnarok1540 / 02/17/2016 at 11:35pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work
Today, during class, a girl had suggested how I, a 16 year-old guy, would be a high maintenance girlfriend. We sat and debated this, allowing for other people to listen in and agree with her, and eventually the entire class agreed with her. Even the teacher. FML
by ThatSped / 02/17/2016 at 10:22pm / Canada (New Brunswick) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/17/2016 at 4:36pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Work
Today, I sent an email to my teacher asking if a source was a primary source, he replied yes. I got my grade back for my essay and it was worse than I expected. My teacher said it was because I didn't use a primary source. I showed him the email, to which he replied, "Well, I was wrong in the email." FML
by Anonymous / 02/17/2016 at 8:16am / Canada (Quebec) / Work
by Anonymous / 02/17/2016 at 7:32am / Netherlands / Love
Today, two aggressive police officers appeared at my door informing me that a complaint was filed about my 18 year-old son having "inappropriate relations" with a 16 year-old. We live in England. I had to Google the law to prove to them this was legal. FML
by Confuseddad / 02/16/2016 at 5:17pm / United Kingdom / Kids
by Anonymous / 02/16/2016 at 9:56am / Netherlands / Miscellaneous
Today, my 13 year-old son had a seizure in the middle of his history class. We were at the hospital for three hours and several expensive tests later he informed me he faked the seizure so he could get out of a group presentation. He was so proud that he was such a good actor. FML
by EllieS9311 / 02/16/2016 at 8:16am / United States (Alabama) / Kids
Today, I found out that while on foreign exchange for over six months now, I have been pronouncing the word for "night" in German wrong. Apparently, this whole time, the way that I have been pronouncing it in German means "naked". This explains a lot. FML
by nullroute / 02/16/2016 at 6:34am / Switzerland (Aargau) / Miscellaneous
Today, the play I was directing opened. The curtain opened, and my lead actor and actress weren't prepared. I could tell from the looks on their faces as the whole audience saw him balls deep in her, doggy style, on stage. FML
by headinabag33 / 02/14/2016 at 8:57pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 02/14/2016 at 8:57pm / United Kingdom (Kingston upon Hull, City of) / Health