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EOD1Ace's FML badges
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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
EOD1Ace's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 12/22/2013 at 2:10pm / Israel / Kids
by Anonymous / 12/22/2013 at 3:45am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
Today, I thought it was a good idea to flush the stink bug I found in my kitchen. Later I went in the bathroom to take a crap, and next thing I know, I feel a stink bug on my privates. I guess it didn't flush after all. FML
by Anonymous / 12/21/2013 at 4:50pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by back to creepers / 12/21/2013 at 3:05pm / United Kingdom (Worcestershire) / Geek
by Anonymous / 12/21/2013 at 2:13pm / Sweden / Kids
Today, I woke up to a loud crashing in the middle of the night. I went to investigate, but found nothing amiss. Nothing except an axe firmly wedged in my front door, that is. It's safe to say that I have no clue who did it, and that I needed a fresh pair of underwear. FML
by nopissleft / 12/20/2013 at 4:05pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 12/17/2013 at 4:57pm / Egypt / Kids
by igotpride / 12/09/2013 at 4:01pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by eer004 / 12/07/2013 at 5:06am / United States (Texas) / Animals
by Anonymous / 12/01/2013 at 1:07am / United States / Miscellaneous
by clodius / 11/20/2013 at 1:25pm / United Kingdom (North Lanarkshire) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend went down on me. I don't know why, but my mind wandered. He now thinks that he has the skills of a porn star, while I'm pretty sure that finally solving a mathematical problem I've been working on for a week caused me to orgasm. FML
by you+me-clothes=53>< / 11/19/2013 at 12:13pm / Austria (Wien) / Intimacy
Today, my mom bitched me out for still being single at age 19, and still not having started a family. She considers this "immoral," yet showed nothing but praise for my sister, who's pregnant at 15 and doesn't know which of three guys is the father. FML
by failed brood mare / 11/17/2013 at 12:46pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, a week after my dad discovered Family Guy and started mindlessly repeating catchphrases from it 24/7, I finally lost my temper and told him how incredibly annoying it is. He just paused, turned to look me in the eyes, and said, "Shut up, Meg." FML
by Anonymous / 09/06/2013 at 6:56pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I came home to find my housemate cowering in the lounge corner, sobbing, hugging a bag of chips while the automatic vacuum cleaner gently bumped into him. Apparently he "mistakenly" put magic mushrooms in his sandwich instead of peanut butter. FML
by down trodden / 09/05/2013 at 3:45am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…
- Today, I was playing video games in the dark and drinking soda during the slow periods. When I took… Today, My sister called my boyfriend by my ex's name. I haven't been with my ex for six years. Now,… Today I got my period after missing it last month, the good part, I'm not prego, the bad part, it's…