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EEPWARRIOR's FML badges
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I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
EEPWARRIOR's favorite FMLs
Today, it was my birthday, so when I woke up, I came downstairs yelling, "ALL I WANT FOR MY BIRTHDAY, IS A BIG BOOTY HOE," only to find that my family had thrown me a surprise party. All my grandparents were at the bottom of the stairs. FML
by anonymous / 01/12/2014 at 8:40pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by gottacatchemall / 01/08/2014 at 12:43am / United States / Intimacy
by oh why... / 12/20/2013 at 9:51am / United States / Love
by fuckadaisical / 12/06/2013 at 3:23pm / United Kingdom (Rhondda Cynon Taff) / Intimacy
Today, I was walking back home from a party, when I received an email from our neighborhood watch. It said to beware, because a "thug-like" stranger with a white shirt and brown hair had entered the neighborhood. My hair is indeed brown and I was wearing a white shirt. FML
by paranoid neighborhood / 11/27/2013 at 12:51pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, my mom visited. While she was using the bathroom, my man-child of a husband thought it would be funny to knock on the bathroom door with his penis, thinking it was me in there. She opened the door to find him standing there doing the "helicopter". FML
by LadyLola / 11/25/2013 at 12:22am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
by Eggs / 11/15/2013 at 12:00am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, I heard crashing noises coming from my dining room. I got up to see what it was; my asshat cat was flinging himself at my chandelier. He'd figured out how to grab the ceiling fan from the other room, build momentum, and launch into my expensive chandelier. Hooray. FML
by IamAflyingCat / 10/22/2013 at 5:12am / United States / Animals
Today, I was at the dentist getting a cavity fixed for the first time. The dentist showed me the drill and other tools, and referred to them as things like "Mr. Bumpy Brush". I'm 15. She thought I was "special". FML
by maxkeyftw / 10/17/2013 at 1:06am / United States (California) / Health
by mustabeendrugs / 10/13/2013 at 9:14pm / United States (Arizona) / Work
by Anonymous / 10/11/2013 at 6:00pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health
by Angrily Paranoid / 10/06/2013 at 1:29am / United States (Washington) / Health
by muffin / 07/16/2013 at 8:01am / Austria / Miscellaneous
Today, I reached a new low and embarrased my entire family. While in the frozen section of Walmart, I dropped to my knees and let out a horrific, agonizing scream, when I found out they were out of Strawberry Toaster Strudels. FML
by Anonymous / 02/28/2010 at 2:17pm / United States (New York) / Love
Today, I got industrial toilet cleaner in my eyes. Despite the raging fire party going on behind my eyelids, I resisted the urge to stop, drop, and roll, and calmly got in the shower to wash it off. Wherein I promptly slipped, fell, and whacked my head full-force on the bathtub on the way down. FML
by twoheadedboy / 05/06/2009 at 4:46pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I realized why my dad got mad when he found out that my girlfriend and I have sex. Turns out… Today, I told my husband that I wanted to take advantage of the alone time we would have while our… Today, I took advantage of the fact that my wife was sleeping to watch a porn film on my computer.…