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DynamicDave

Offline (the 08/22/2014 at 6:23am) | Search for a member

DynamicDave

5Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 22 December 1988 (26 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 9496
  • Number of comments : 833
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 18 posted

About DynamicDave : I'm here to enjoy the wittiness of others and occasionally contribute something worthwhile myself. I'm big on grammar, so I tend to sympathize with grammar nazis. I rarely am one myself, but if the error is particularly egregious I may call someone out.

Also, I generally thumb up buried comments. This is partially due to my passion for free speech and partially due to the fact that I enjoy being a contrarian.

I've also been known to troll every now and then.

If you're on this side of the ground, that makes it a good day! And if life throws you lemons, ask your God (or lack thereof) why they weren't sent instead to some guy on a desert island who is dying, since he's really thirsty and you just had a refreshing beverage a few moments ago.

DynamicDave's page activity

Visits<b>FUCKINEEDANAME</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 3:28pm<b>jacob_coryell98</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 3:34am<b>Jackimo98</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 10:48am<b>turtle_turtle_4</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 12:54am<b>animalluver1244</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 5:21pm<b>dianadarwish</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 2:37am<b>unluckyorwhat</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 9:48pm<b>SilverMaster02</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 7:52pm<b>UncleHoodie</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 1:02am<b>Kidjazzin</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 8:07am<b>that_average_guy</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 12:07am<b>eski2015</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 10:31am<b>singer0421</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 7:30am<b>LoveNnyl</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 8:28am<b>kingsolomon6773</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 2:19am<b>mikeman1744</b> - the 06/02/2015 at 4:14am<b>Thoricsteam20</b> - the 06/02/2015 at 12:21am<b>XmasaX</b> - the 06/01/2015 at 7:12pm

Fucked!<b>kingsolomon6773</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 8:21am<b>Cautocracy</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 11:03am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 4:50pm<b>heatherma</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 11:02am<b>clairesucks</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 10:03am

DynamicDave's FML badges

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of DynamicDave's badges

DynamicDave's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that my husband is the biological father of my baby sister. FML

#19603084
414 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59023) - you deserved it (3213)

On 05/10/2012 at 4:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I dislocated my jaw while giving my boyfriend a blowjob. FML

#18051286
363 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43731) - you deserved it (19799)

On 10/23/2011 at 1:45am - intimacy - by canucks_chick - Canada

Today, I was sitting in my room while my mom was talking to my uncle. I had my door open. She said "Yeah my son doesn't know I have his phone password. Girls nowadays are real sluts." FML

#18051184
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29595) - you deserved it (8399)

On 10/23/2011 at 1:30am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was given an entire week of detention for planking on my school desk. FML

#18008479
321 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14827) - you deserved it (72750)

On 10/17/2011 at 6:05pm - misc - by planking champion (woman) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. I really had to use the bathroom, but decided to wait. After about an hour, I went to the restroom. I pissed for so long that when I walked out her family all started clapping. FML

#17954920
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28044) - you deserved it (6111)

On 10/10/2011 at 8:58pm - health - by maniac11 - United States (Texas)

Today, I mentioned to my wife that we should try marriage counseling. She responded by denying it while throwing a carton of milk at me. FML

#17954087
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23066) - you deserved it (2645)

On 10/10/2011 at 7:11pm - love - by crapedup - United States (Alabama)

Today, I went on a date with a respectable, successful, polite, and attractive guy. Ten minutes into the conversation, I find out he's a neo-Nazi and earned a swastika tattoo in prison for "something shady." FML

#17949951
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28683) - you deserved it (3108)

On 10/10/2011 at 3:16am - love - by thatgirl - United States (Texas)

Today, I let a guy I like look at my phone. A second later I remembered I had a secret copy of his Facebook profile picture on there to show a friend what he looked like. I was forced to tackle him to get my phone back. FML

#17940122
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12034) - you deserved it (37611)

On 10/09/2011 at 1:17am - love - by Emily S - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, while I was waiting in line at McDonalds, I found out I can sneeze, pee, and poop all at the same time. FML

#17934817
283 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49508) - you deserved it (7556)

On 10/08/2011 at 12:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I came home from school and found my mother singing along to her latest investment, a compilation CD filled with heavy metal covers of ABBA classics. FML

Today, I discovered that if I work out, I can't get an erection, but if I don't work out, my penis functions fine. This wouldn't be such a problem if I wasn't a professional bodybuilder. FML

#17410758
258 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31301) - you deserved it (12201)

On 08/08/2011 at 8:03pm - intimacy - by Username - United States

Today, my wife and I almost got a divorce over a game of Yahtzee. FML

#17398977
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26295) - you deserved it (14800)

On 08/07/2011 at 5:44pm - love - by Username - United States

Today, the closest I came to doing something that could be vaguely construed as "constructive" was wanking and crying. Sometimes simultaneously. FML

#17361145
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11442) - you deserved it (25703)

On 08/03/2011 at 11:27pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I caught a cab to take me to a hospital appointment. The driver turned around and told me I was in the Cash Cab. I got really excited and screamed. That is, until she laughed and said, "Just kidding. I always wanted to do that to someone." FML

#17128085
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35187) - you deserved it (8449)

On 07/15/2011 at 10:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I walked in on my father and brother attempting to harmonize their farts. FML

#17109341
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31176) - you deserved it (5264)

On 07/14/2011 at 4:09pm - misc - by Username - United States



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