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Offline (the 08/22/2014 at 6:23am)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 22 December 1988 (27 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 10370
  • Number of comments : 833
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 18 posted

About DynamicDave : I'm here to enjoy the wittiness of others and occasionally contribute something worthwhile myself. I'm big on grammar, so I tend to sympathize with grammar nazis. I rarely am one myself, but if the error is particularly egregious I may call someone out.

Also, I generally thumb up buried comments. This is partially due to my passion for free speech and partially due to the fact that I enjoy being a contrarian.

I've also been known to troll every now and then.

If you're on this side of the ground, that makes it a good day! And if life throws you lemons, ask your God (or lack thereof) why they weren't sent instead to some guy on a desert island who is dying, since he's really thirsty and you just had a refreshing beverage a few moments ago.

DynamicDave's page activity

Visits<b>bolee997</b> - the 09/16/2016 at 3:12pm<b>CamBamShamDaMan</b> - the 09/12/2016 at 7:46am<b>JulietMarie</b> - the 09/01/2016 at 10:13pm<b>smeegle</b> - the 09/01/2016 at 7:20pm<b>royallymessedup</b> - the 07/17/2016 at 9:10am<b>Benmantha</b> - the 07/07/2016 at 2:43pm<b>SOILEDIT</b> - the 06/21/2016 at 12:47am<b>Olivia93</b> - the 06/17/2016 at 6:10pm<b>ebroks</b> - the 06/13/2016 at 6:15am<b>aron666</b> - the 06/05/2016 at 4:47am<b>aliceaudrey1997</b> - the 05/27/2016 at 4:47am<b>swampbaby985</b> - the 05/15/2016 at 1:38am<b>Dalboz</b> - the 05/08/2016 at 8:52am<b>Cyrus00</b> - the 04/29/2016 at 9:48am<b>erica_mae13</b> - the 04/26/2016 at 12:45am<b>EnderHorse</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 11:20am<b>Addiction333</b> - the 04/21/2016 at 6:23pm<b>triangularfrog</b> - the 04/19/2016 at 11:31am

Fucked!<b>Olivia93</b> - the 06/18/2016 at 12:11am<b>EnderHorse</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 5:20pm<b>junjunbun</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 2:52am<b>young_cat_lady</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 7:41pm<b>connaughty0225</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 8:26pm<b>Cookie_Overlord</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 9:55pm<b>kingsolomon6773</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 8:21am<b>Cautocracy</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 11:03am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 4:50pm<b>heatherma</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 11:02am<b>clairesucks</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 10:03am

DynamicDave's FML badges


You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.


You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of DynamicDave's badges

DynamicDave's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that my husband is the biological father of my baby sister. FML

by Anonymous / 05/10/2012 at 4:17pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I dislocated my jaw while giving my boyfriend a blowjob. FML

by canucks_chick / 10/23/2011 at 1:45am / Canada / Intimacy

Today, I was sitting in my room while my mom was talking to my uncle. I had my door open. She said "Yeah my son doesn't know I have his phone password. Girls nowadays are real sluts." FML

by Anonymous / 10/23/2011 at 1:30am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was given an entire week of detention for planking on my school desk. FML

by planking champion / 10/17/2011 at 6:05pm / United States (North Dakota) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. I really had to use the bathroom, but decided to wait. After about an hour, I went to the restroom. I pissed for so long that when I walked out her family all started clapping. FML

by maniac11 / 10/10/2011 at 8:58pm / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, I mentioned to my wife that we should try marriage counseling. She responded by denying it while throwing a carton of milk at me. FML

by crapedup / 10/10/2011 at 7:11pm / United States (Alabama) / Love

Today, I went on a date with a respectable, successful, polite, and attractive guy. Ten minutes into the conversation, I find out he's a neo-Nazi and earned a swastika tattoo in prison for "something shady." FML

by thatgirl / 10/10/2011 at 3:16am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I let a guy I like look at my phone. A second later I remembered I had a secret copy of his Facebook profile picture on there to show a friend what he looked like. I was forced to tackle him to get my phone back. FML

by Emily S / 10/09/2011 at 1:17am / Australia (Western Australia) / Love

Today, while I was waiting in line at McDonalds, I found out I can sneeze, pee, and poop all at the same time. FML

by Anonymous / 10/08/2011 at 12:00pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I came home from school and found my mother singing along to her latest investment, a compilation CD filled with heavy metal covers of ABBA classics. FML

Today, I discovered that if I work out, I can't get an erection, but if I don't work out, my penis functions fine. This wouldn't be such a problem if I wasn't a professional bodybuilder. FML

by Username / 08/08/2011 at 8:03pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, my wife and I almost got a divorce over a game of Yahtzee. FML

by Username / 08/07/2011 at 5:44pm / United States / Love

Today, the closest I came to doing something that could be vaguely construed as "constructive" was wanking and crying. Sometimes simultaneously. FML

by Anonymous / 08/03/2011 at 11:27pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy

Today, I caught a cab to take me to a hospital appointment. The driver turned around and told me I was in the Cash Cab. I got really excited and screamed. That is, until she laughed and said, "Just kidding. I always wanted to do that to someone." FML

by Anonymous / 07/15/2011 at 10:06pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked in on my father and brother attempting to harmonize their farts. FML

by Username / 07/14/2011 at 4:09pm / United States / Miscellaneous