Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Dyingpie

Search for a member

Dyingpie

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 23 September 1999 (15 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2948
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Dyingpie : I like breathing, dogs and soup. Nothing else.

Dyingpie's page activity

Visits<b>apineapple</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 10:59pm<b>WellHelloThere47</b> - the 04/04/2014 at 1:46am<b>Rababco</b> - the 01/05/2014 at 12:21am<b>alfred07</b> - the 10/16/2013 at 11:57am<b>LeedleCow</b> - the 09/29/2013 at 10:26pm<b>ninjuh_wingman</b> - the 09/28/2013 at 2:04pm<b>nourHERE</b> - the 09/25/2013 at 7:33pm<b>iiAceHD</b> - the 09/25/2013 at 6:05pm<b>Wabbajack789</b> - the 09/25/2013 at 5:48pm<b>Corrohsion</b> - the 09/25/2013 at 3:22pm<b>krazayman</b> - the 09/25/2013 at 12:41pm<b>Prolux</b> - the 09/25/2013 at 8:57am<b>ilovesarcasm</b> - the 09/25/2013 at 7:30am<b>ryan4723</b> - the 09/25/2013 at 5:55am<b>PantyGAMES</b> - the 09/25/2013 at 5:21am<b>Much2Much4U</b> - the 09/25/2013 at 3:01am<b>Samuu212</b> - the 09/25/2013 at 1:09am<b>Sacul9</b> - the 09/24/2013 at 11:52pm

Fucked!<b>apineapple</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 4:59am

Dyingpie's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of Dyingpie's badges

Dyingpie's favorite FMLs

Today, my psychopathic ex-girlfriend spray-painted "Free Candy" on the side of my van, knowing damn well I have to park it in front of an elementary school on a daily basis to pick up my daughter. FML

#20532616
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42155) - you deserved it (3951)

On 03/05/2013 at 7:07pm - kids - by cjw - United States

Today, while I was in the shower, my boyfriend decided to join me. We were really getting into it and he attempted to lift me up. Not only did I let out a massive fart, he slipped and fell on top of me. He won't stop laughing. FML

#20513159
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43152) - you deserved it (9407)

On 02/19/2013 at 3:35am - intimacy - by Anonymous -

Today, I met my new class. There are two Kevin Smiths. Neither will agree to a nickname, they have the same hair color, and their middle names both start with J. They have told me to call them Kevin 1 and Kevin 2. They both want to be Kevin 1. FML

#20512577
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38780) - you deserved it (3076)

On 02/18/2013 at 7:26pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, a state trooper ticketed me after learning I was ticketed for the same offense an hour earlier, namely driving with a broken headlight. The good news is that both tickets will be dismissed if I go to court. The bad news is that I'd have to go to different courthouses at the same time of day. FML

#20494464
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28849) - you deserved it (3746)

On 02/05/2013 at 1:59pm - money - by halfmypaycheckgone (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, on my shift as a nurse, I asked a pregnant woman what she would name her child. She said she saw the name "Chlamydia" on a billboard and decided to name her daughter that, saying it was "beautiful." I informed her that it was an STD, and she replied, "Oh, well no one knows that!" FML

#20482313
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38615) - you deserved it (2537)

On 01/27/2013 at 11:36pm - kids - by andy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, a pregnant woman got on the bus. There were no free seats, so I stood up to give her mine. An obese man pushed past her, waddled over, and oozed into my seat. I said it was for the pregnant lady. He called me a "sexist bitch" and claimed he needed it more. FML

#20478664
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45530) - you deserved it (2545)

On 01/25/2013 at 8:24pm - misc - by protoplasm stole my seat (woman) - New Zealand (Waikato)

Today, after an hour of crying over a guy I like, I put on some Adele and sang along. My mom quickly took notice and came to give me advice, which was to "get over it" because he doesn't want me, and that "masturbation beats relationships hands down." Gee, thanks mom. FML

#20469543
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25754) - you deserved it (6674)

On 01/20/2013 at 1:22pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Waikato)

Today, I walked in on my grandfather smiling at his penis. FML

#20449931
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34552) - you deserved it (4881)

On 01/09/2013 at 11:48am - misc - by lovingthis - United States (Florida)

Today, while going on a jog through the countryside, I discovered that it is actually possible outside of crappy TV shows to have a rifle leveled at you, and to be shouted at to, "Get off my land." FML

#20432522
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21510) - you deserved it (16501)

On 12/30/2012 at 6:48pm - misc - by fuckinghicks (man) - United States

Today, my friend put my phone number on Craigslist. I still can't find the ad, but obviously everyone else can because I still haven't stopped receiving naked pictures. FML

#20419133
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33557) - you deserved it (3439)

On 12/24/2012 at 4:06pm - misc - by Chanman1924 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me his Christmas gift to me was custom made. I told my parents in excitement, thinking it could possibly be a ring. Half an hour later he told me what it was; a molded dildo of his penis. It's going to be an awkward conversation with my parents when they ask what I got. FML

#20408274
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39827) - you deserved it (14285)

On 12/20/2012 at 12:30am - intimacy - by djl (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, a friend informed me that my dog's name means "penis" in Greek. I live in a predominantly Greek neighbourhood, and apparently I've been screaming for "dong" every evening for the past 3 years. No wonder they don't talk to me much. FML

#20405418
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30210) - you deserved it (8613)

On 12/18/2012 at 10:30am - misc - by Dog_Lover (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I came home to find my husband and our 4-year-old son simultaneously peeing off the second-floor balcony. My husband was giggling like a little girl. FML

#20403594
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30906) - you deserved it (5754)

On 12/17/2012 at 11:21am - kids - by Bonding_boys (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my son sprayed the bottom of my car and windows white with fake snow in Christmas cheer. He did a great job, except he used white spray paint instead of the fake snow. FML

#20400437
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25573) - you deserved it (2156)

On 12/15/2012 at 6:48am - misc - by teejayrn - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my dog did something I had no idea he could do. He participated in an all-male three-way at the dog park. In front of everyone. FML

#20199452
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23467) - you deserved it (2399)

On 12/10/2012 at 7:04pm - animals - by MoreActionThanMe - United States



FML's blog

  • Essa's illustrated FML
  • Yesterday was labor day in the US. FML is international, and and specifically US-centric, but we still sat around doing nothing because we'll take any excuse to do anything. We'll endorse any national…

Friday 1 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: