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Durf

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Durf
  • Town/Country : Rosamond, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 1 September 1992 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 8472
  • Number of comments : 14
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Durf : you tell me.

Durf's last visitors

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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Durf's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that the horrific smell coming from somewhere in my kitchen was a rotting dead mouse in my dishwasher. I have been eating off plates washed in dead-mouse water for the past week. FML

#4830976
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51278) - you deserved it (9782)

On 08/26/2009 at 4:44am - misc - by hantavirus (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I decided to make a place in my house for my friends to sign called “The Friend Wall." By sign I meant sign, not draw body parts. This afternoon I ate lunch next to a basketball-sized vagina and a monumentally large blue and purple penis. FML

#4031081
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9807) - you deserved it (52114)

On 07/25/2009 at 2:32pm - misc - by rbates - United States (Florida)

Today, I discovered my 18 year old son has been peeing on the carpet when he is too lazy to get out of bed in the morning and blaming it on the cat. FML

#3998492
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66608) - you deserved it (6614)

On 07/24/2009 at 3:04am - kids - by tony (man) - United States (California)

Today, in the midst of foreplay, this girl tells me I am so hot, I respond "Ditto." She heatedly responds "I love ditto," to which I suavely reply "I didn't know you were into Pokémon. That may make you even sexier." She knows nothing about Pokémon, but I sure know how to kill the mood. FML

#3971030
313 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15706) - you deserved it (65967)

On 07/23/2009 at 2:42am - intimacy - by MitchFail (man) - United States

Today, me and my co-workers were playing with the Helium tank we got today. We were all giggling like little girls for the better half of 15 minutes. I don't know what is more sad, that a bunch of guys were sucking helium instead of working, or that the youngest guy in the group is 43. FML

#2110386
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38002) - you deserved it (12306)

On 05/20/2009 at 11:42am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was hanging out with a few of my friends, including an old ex-girlfriend and her current boyfriend of 5 years. When my ex, whose virginity I had taken years earlier, mentioned, "I had the iPhone first," without thinking, I immediately responded, "Well, I had YOU first." FML

#2103981
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17250) - you deserved it (85075)

On 05/20/2009 at 1:10am - intimacy - by Takuma (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserted dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML

#2026481
435 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28760) - you deserved it (133755)

On 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm - animals - by sucks (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my hamster gave birth. The babies were very cute and I couldn't resist petting one. Apparently touching a baby hamster will cause it's mother to reject and devour it. I am now know in my family as "The Hamster Slaughterer." FML

#1177912
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45271) - you deserved it (18554)

On 04/20/2009 at 11:11pm - animals - by whymommywhy (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

#836792
907 comments

I agree, your life sucks (329221) - you deserved it (35707)

On 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, while working at a Subway store right next to a big hospital, there was a big line of people all getting their subs toasted. Without turning around, I asked the next person in line, "I'll bet you want yours extra toasted?" She was a burns victim from the hospital. FML

Today, I realized my friends and I should be more careful what we say around my younger brother. I never thought he was paying attention until today. My stepmom told him it was time to go to bed. He responded, "I think it's time for you to suck one." My brother is 4. FML

#615927
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12967) - you deserved it (56907)

On 03/26/2009 at 12:42am - misc - by Alex (man) - United States (Georgia)



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