Durf

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Durf

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 1 September 1992 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 9578
  • Number of comments : 14
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Durf : you tell me.

Durf's page activity

Visits<b>karacakal2</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 5:04am<b>rebelvamp420</b> - the 10/17/2015 at 4:46am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 09/26/2015 at 5:37pm<b>woobeee</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 11:50pm<b>3051628</b> - the 04/01/2015 at 2:06am<b>evanvoss</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 1:44pm<b>emptym777</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 10:38pm<b>rockcaar3</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 8:14am<b>ForRealLeo</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 2:27am<b>andyhitts25</b> - the 01/10/2014 at 11:45pm<b>thatsawkward7</b> - the 12/31/2013 at 10:07pm<b>MandyCat484</b> - the 12/01/2013 at 2:03am<b>chandlerbelacic</b> - the 05/27/2013 at 12:55pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 11:12pm<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 12:42am<b>lxclark</b> - the 04/02/2010 at 6:24am<b>JustSoLost</b> - the 11/24/2009 at 10:01pm<b>ha</b> - the 11/14/2009 at 11:36am

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 09/26/2015 at 11:37pm<b>karacakal2</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 9:49pm

Durf's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Durf's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that the horrific smell coming from somewhere in my kitchen was a rotting dead mouse in my dishwasher. I have been eating off plates washed in dead-mouse water for the past week. FML

by hantavirus / 08/26/2009 at 4:44am / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, I decided to make a place in my house for my friends to sign called “The Friend Wall." By sign I meant sign, not draw body parts. This afternoon I ate lunch next to a basketball-sized vagina and a monumentally large blue and purple penis. FML

by rbates / 07/25/2009 at 2:32pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I discovered my 18 year old son has been peeing on the carpet when he is too lazy to get out of bed in the morning and blaming it on the cat. FML

by tony / 07/24/2009 at 3:04am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, in the midst of foreplay, this girl tells me I am so hot, I respond "Ditto." She heatedly responds "I love ditto," to which I suavely reply "I didn't know you were into Pokémon. That may make you even sexier." She knows nothing about Pokémon, but I sure know how to kill the mood. FML

by MitchFail / 07/23/2009 at 2:42am / United States / Intimacy

Today, me and my co-workers were playing with the Helium tank we got today. We were all giggling like little girls for the better half of 15 minutes. I don't know what is more sad, that a bunch of guys were sucking helium instead of working, or that the youngest guy in the group is 43. FML

by Anonymous / 05/20/2009 at 11:42am / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, I was hanging out with a few of my friends, including an old ex-girlfriend and her current boyfriend of 5 years. When my ex, whose virginity I had taken years earlier, mentioned, "I had the iPhone first," without thinking, I immediately responded, "Well, I had YOU first." FML

by Takuma / 05/20/2009 at 1:10am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserted dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML

by sucks / 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm / United States (Georgia) / Animals

Today, my football club gave us all jerseys with our last names on them. My last name is 'Flicker'. The letters are all in uppercase. And the 'L' and the 'I' are joined together at the bottom. My jersey reads 'FUCKER'. FML

by Flicker / 05/14/2009 at 3:23am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, my hamster gave birth. The babies were very cute and I couldn't resist petting one. Apparently touching a baby hamster will cause it's mother to reject and devour it. I am now know in my family as "The Hamster Slaughterer." FML

by whymommywhy / 04/20/2009 at 11:11pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Animals

Today, I ran over a squirrel. I saw it twitching, so I backed over it to end its suffering. It wasn't a squirrel; it was a kitten. The children it belonged to watched as I ran over their kitten. Twice. FML

by Anonymous / 04/07/2009 at 8:11pm / United States (Virginia) / Animals

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

by creepermagnet / 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm / United States (Maryland) / Love

Today, while working at a Subway store right next to a big hospital, there was a big line of people all getting their subs toasted. Without turning around, I asked the next person in line, "I'll bet you want yours extra toasted?" She was a burns victim from the hospital. FML

by 00Evan / 04/05/2009 at 9:48am / Australia (Queensland) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2009 at 1:13am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, while at the Golden Gate Bridge, I spotted a large group of Asians trying to take a picture. Trying to help, I slowly say, "You... want me... take picture?" while using hand motions. The man looks at me and says, "No thanks asshole, I got it," in plain English. FML

by Tourist / 03/26/2009 at 3:19am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized my friends and I should be more careful what we say around my younger brother. I never thought he was paying attention until today. My stepmom told him it was time to go to bed. He responded, "I think it's time for you to suck one." My brother is 4. FML

by Alex / 03/26/2009 at 12:42am / United States (Georgia) / Kids