Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

DudeBTM

Search for a member

DudeBTM
  • Town/Country : Nowhere, United States
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 2 November 1993 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 565
  • Number of comments : 36
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About DudeBTM : Sarcasm is my best friend.

DudeBTM's last visitors

semper_amoDevilsTemptationInsane_TeaFreezebroken_symlink

DudeBTM's FML badges

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of DudeBTM's badges

DudeBTM's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom was freaking out about me handling a CD-ROM with my bare hands. When I asked her what all the commotion was about, she said she was worried that I would catch "one of those computer viruses" she'd heard about on the news. FML

#18974920
215 comments

Today, an intoxicated homeless man tried to chase me out of a McDonald's because he thought I was President Obama. I'm a 26-year-old white woman. FML

#18892690
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24392) - you deserved it (1816)

On 01/23/2012 at 7:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my mother came home from the grocery store with a 20kg bag of carrots, and nothing else. She then informed me that, for as long as my girlfriend and I keep 'going at it like rabbits', she would be feeding me like one. FML

#18733573
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19011) - you deserved it (37893)

On 01/07/2012 at 5:27am - intimacy - by Danny - Australia

Today, I couldn't contain my laughter when a patient told me she'd named her unborn daughter Twinkie. FML

#18728006
398 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25775) - you deserved it (3601)

On 01/06/2012 at 5:49pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my dog started limping as we were walking home. I thought she'd hurt herself, so I picked her up and carried her home. Once we arrived, I put her down, at which point she ran around and played as if nothing had happened. I fell for my lazy dog's plan to get me to carry her home. FML

#18697253
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22427) - you deserved it (5961)

On 01/03/2012 at 2:44pm - animals - by vanessa560 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that if a cop asks you if you have any weapons, and you reply by saying "only these guns" while flexing your biceps, they won't take it very well. And neither will the cops down at the station. FML

#18444451
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10328) - you deserved it (41025)

On 12/06/2011 at 12:24pm - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, I went to go get my driver's license, only to be told that I need a copy of my birth certificate. In order to get the copy of my birth certificate, I need a driver's license or my passport. In order to get a passport, I need a copy of my birth certificate or a drivers license. I have none. FML

#18385235
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40577) - you deserved it (4756)

On 11/29/2011 at 1:40pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was yelled at by a customer because we didn't have any ketchup packets. I work in a coffee shop. FML

#18096319
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23885) - you deserved it (1907)

On 10/28/2011 at 1:07pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I ran into an old friend. I asked her how she was doing, then asked, "And your mum?" Just as the words escaped my lips, I remembered her mum died a few years ago. Trying to save face, I messed up again and blurted, "She still in the same graveyard?" FML

#18041933
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15441) - you deserved it (43156) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/21/2011 at 10:09pm - misc - by Virginiedetibo - France

Today, I overheard my husband talking to our 6 year-old about animals for a project. I listened, thinking it was cute, until my husband said gleefully, "Remember to say this in your project: octopuses have 8 testicles." FML

#17973930
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25455) - you deserved it (3026)

On 10/13/2011 at 8:24am - kids - by daddoesn'tknowbest - United States

Today, I found out the people I babysit for have a nanny cam. Problem is, when I'm there, I act out scenarios in which I have the sweetest boyfriend. I also say his parts out loud in a man's voice. FML

#17932386
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10384) - you deserved it (29298)

On 10/08/2011 at 12:49am - work - by Laura - United States

Today, a man punched me for sleeping with his wife. Bewildered, I insisted I would never sleep with a married woman, to which he retorted "She wasn't my wife when it HAPPENED, dumbass!" I was assaulted for sleeping with my own girlfriend three years ago. FML

#17848518
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41011) - you deserved it (3193)

On 09/27/2011 at 3:53pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my old neighbor pelted me with apples when I walked out the door. I ducked for cover and asked what her problem was. She yelled, "You took fresh peas from my garden!" I looked at her garden, only to see my dad tiptoeing back to our lawn, laughing and holding a bag full of peas. FML

#17344218
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30113) - you deserved it (2765)

On 08/02/2011 at 2:36pm - misc - by scully11 (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I asked the girl I like to send me 'yummy pictures.' I got a picture of cheesecake. FML

#17213168
368 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8632) - you deserved it (73450)

On 07/22/2011 at 2:29am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, after babysitting, the parents actually tried to pay me in Trident Layers Gum. FML

#17207993
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42541) - you deserved it (4545)

On 07/21/2011 at 8:20pm - money - by iwantmoney - United States (Ohio)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: