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Duceswild99

Offline (the 05/21/2015 at 9:14pm) | Search for a member

Duceswild99

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 10 March 1988 (27 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4149
  • Number of comments : 40
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About Duceswild99 : Nothing to share

Duceswild99's page activity

Visits<b>AngryRussianGuy</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 1:17pm<b>mikky8484</b> - the 07/10/2013 at 11:27am<b>gmc_blossom</b> - the 01/19/2013 at 7:45pm<b>sow_ay</b> - the 09/30/2012 at 6:13am

Duceswild99's FML badges

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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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Duceswild99's favorite FMLs

Today, I had the best sex of our relationship with my boyfriend. Afterwards, he took off his condom, looked me sweetly in the eyes for a few moments, then decided to slap me in the face with it. FML

#20168405
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38327) - you deserved it (5684)

On 11/18/2012 at 5:53pm - intimacy - by besviken (woman) - Sweden (Uppsala Lan)

Today, my girlfriend claimed she was a Viking because she's pale and has blond hair. She also warned me that if I piss her off she'll go 'berserk' on me. She demonstrated by smacking me in the nuts with a wooden spoon. FML

#20167650
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23408) - you deserved it (3188)

On 11/18/2012 at 2:45am - love - by jasmith - United States (Texas)

Today, just as I was about to orgasm, my boyfriend whispered, "Cum, my preciousssss" into my ear, in his scarily accurate Gollum voice. I think my clitoris just about withered away in despair. FML

#20165510
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36856) - you deserved it (3748)

On 11/16/2012 at 2:42pm - intimacy - by thanks, fuckface (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my dad asked me to send my mom a text since he was driving and I was in the passenger seat. I pulled up my mom's contact on his phone, and I found that my mom had recently sent my dad a picture of her jugs, along with the message, "We miss you." FML

#20164798
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28076) - you deserved it (2320)

On 11/15/2012 at 9:45pm - love - by Sexting Parents - United States (New Jersey)

Today, a homeless man asked me for some money to eat. He ate the five dollars I gave him. FML

#20161582
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25754) - you deserved it (3792)

On 11/13/2012 at 6:34am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I noticed my husband was acting moody, and I asked him what was wrong. He replied that he didn't know, so trying to lighten the mood, I facetiously said, "It's 'cause you're stuck with me, isn't it?" He nodded, trundled off, and hasn't shown his face since. FML

#20156759
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22932) - you deserved it (4002)

On 11/09/2012 at 9:09pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, on my job as a police officer, I received a typical domestic disturbance call. Not so typical was the address. Guess my wife's affair went terribly wrong while I was on shift. FML

#20155904
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42289) - you deserved it (1941)

On 11/09/2012 at 2:18am - love - by SebastianMiko (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, just like every morning this month, I woke up, put on my clothes, looked out my window, and was pointed at by a man in a ninja outfit on my neighbor's roof. The police still can't find him. FML

#20155776
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29552) - you deserved it (2440)

On 11/08/2012 at 11:54pm - misc - by Targeted - United States (Washington)

Today, at my school they were having a carnival to raise money. One of the patrons suggested that if they wanted to make money, they should have people pledge money to make me cover my ugly face with a bag. The school got over $500, and I had to wear a bag. FML

#20143313
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27939) - you deserved it (2250)

On 11/01/2012 at 7:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, my daughter called me telling me she had her twin girls. She named them Juli and Anne. Her name is Julianne. Her kids are going to fucking hate her. FML

#20141194
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33176) - you deserved it (3629)

On 10/31/2012 at 1:01am - kids - by poorkids (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, while getting intimate with my girlfriend, she asked me to whisper her name. Apparently, her name is not Kate. FML

#20140315
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10450) - you deserved it (70501)

On 10/30/2012 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by you (man) - United Kingdom

Today, whilst in an argument with my girlfriend, I told her she was the craziest bitch I'd ever met. She responded with "Challenge accepted." I'm now terrified. FML

#20139786
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10334) - you deserved it (40823)

On 10/30/2012 at 2:08am - love - by Andrew (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was woken up by my husband attempting to breastfeed off my lactating nipples. FML

#20139029
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22963) - you deserved it (2867)

On 10/29/2012 at 6:22pm - misc - by Indianagirl94 (woman) - United States

Today, I woke up to a gift from my boyfriend: a Playboy magazine with a Post-It note that said, "Just a reminder that you're easily replaceable." I think he's still mad at me for beating him on X-box. FML

#20137933
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26967) - you deserved it (3295)

On 10/28/2012 at 11:39pm - love - by becca (woman) - United States

Today, at work as an EMT, I was telling a panicked patient that I would be taking her vital signs. I inadvertently said that I would be taking her vital organs. FML

#20137874
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18649) - you deserved it (3621)

On 10/28/2012 at 11:10pm - work - by Medic - United States (Washington)



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