Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

DropTheDaggerxx

Search for a member

DropTheDaggerxx

49Fucked!

DropTheDaggerxxDropTheDaggerxx
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 5 October 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 6047
  • Number of comments : 422
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About DropTheDaggerxx : Susan. 20. Student. I like feminism, floral print, Breaking Bad, The Walking Dead, Criminal Minds, and pickles. Not necessarily in that order. I can't think of anything I don't like, except tomatoes. Fuck tomatoes.


kik- so0zin

username is an old my chemical romance lyric. can't get rid of my emo roots

DropTheDaggerxx's page activity

Visits<b>bigmike3000</b> - 11 hours ago<b>Alicestraza</b> - 21 hours ago<b>Powerriot</b> - yesterday at 9:52am<b>zilfy</b> - yesterday at 4:47am<b>Shamandalie89</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 10:11am<b>ToxicLover29</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 2:01am<b>Hieroglyph</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 4:56pm<b>bigdog80</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 6:50am<b>carebear1228</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 10:35pm<b>jodiitiger</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 12:57pm<b>wanted_2_want</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 2:01am<b>Flippier999</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 11:14pm<b>Saxicolous</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 10:55pm<b>RMLrapemylife</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 8:15pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 7:06pm<b>noctali_Solstice</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 5:10pm<b>mazdatuner09</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 2:21pm<b>_Marco_Polo_</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 1:45pm

Fucked!<b>Alicestraza</b> - 15 hours ago<b>venomousflower</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 4:06am<b>funnyguy9</b> - the 05/03/2015 at 9:57pm<b>vonvaski</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 11:07pm<b>theTravinator</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 5:21am<b>Grantastic</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 6:39pm<b>dragonkisses28</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 7:08am<b>chickypie1987</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 7:25am<b>martin8337</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 10:58am<b>paravoz</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 8:17am<b>Codezlol</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 8:01am<b>KeithTheGreat</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 9:28am<b>Tristan_Afro</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 6:43am<b>esemexicano</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 7:50am<b>bab3ruthl3ss</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 5:29am<b>tranced_</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 5:39am<b>Epickitty58</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 11:11am<b>byrne1095</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 12:11pm

DropTheDaggerxx's FML badges

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

See all of DropTheDaggerxx's badges

DropTheDaggerxx's favorite FMLs

Today, I was told by 'Seventeen' to add liquid highlighter to my foundation for an all-over glow. Little did I know that liquid highlighter is an actual makeup product. I now have an awful rash due to applying the ink from a highlighter pen. FML

#6955134
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8198) - you deserved it (85913)

On 12/26/2009 at 11:18am - health - by rtrim29 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I had one more gift to buy: a copy of Fight Club. I asked a person working at Best Buy if they had any in stock. The man wouldn't sell me the last copy because I had broken the first two rules. FML

#6923345
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26988) - you deserved it (11881)

On 12/24/2009 at 3:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I spent my day alone while my parents and siblings were at school and work. Trying to be helpful, I cleaned out the fridge, did 5 loads of laundry, worked outside, fed the pets and made dinner for the entire family. The evening was spent hearing complaints of how wrong I did everything. FML

#6878679
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36407) - you deserved it (2878)

On 12/22/2009 at 2:01am - misc - by sadcinderella (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I decided to attach fifteen-pound weights to each foot so I could burn some extra calories while shoveling snow. My dad asked me to move one of the cars in the driveway. When I put my foot on the gas pedal, I couldn't take it off. I ended up hitting my sister and knocking her into a snow bank. FML

#6848786
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9287) - you deserved it (49183)

On 12/20/2009 at 3:28pm - misc - by Klamp18 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out that I'm going to be a mother. This was a mystery, since I take birth control and use condoms all the time. Or, at least, it was, until my mother admitted to swapping my pills and poking holes in my condoms so she could have a grandchild before she died. FML

#6316031
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61665) - you deserved it (3774)

On 11/15/2009 at 7:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I had nothing better to do than make a penis out of silly putty. FML

#6315427
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9750) - you deserved it (33273)

On 11/15/2009 at 6:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I found out that I had my first born child. It's a boy. I found out on facebook. FML

#5347133
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45049) - you deserved it (13951)

On 09/19/2009 at 4:47am - misc - by josh (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my suburban, white boyfriend of two years told me he wanted to tell me something serious. He sat me down, looked me in the eye and said "I want to be gangster." I started laughing thinking he was joking. He was 100% serious. FML

#3600725
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61836) - you deserved it (7354)

On 07/09/2009 at 1:17am - love - by hatboxghost (man) - United States

Today, I was riding on the back of my dad's motorcycle. After a few minutes, the vibrations from the engine became way too much for me and I couldn't control myself. I had such an intense orgasm, sitting right behind my father, with my arms around his waist. FML

#3192725
304 comments

I agree, your life sucks (83586) - you deserved it (14250)

On 06/25/2009 at 12:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went on a date with my boyfriend. Suddenly he starts speaking gibberish. I ask what's wrong? He says, "I was just talking to my unicorn. He says you're pretty," and winks at me. What have we learned today? The person I like is a freak, and apparently unicorns are real. FML

#2829311
397 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62789) - you deserved it (12253)

On 06/12/2009 at 12:49pm - love - by unicorn (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had to give a presentation about Adolf Hitler. I wanted to point out he was a very good speaker, and could incite a crowd. Instead, what came out was 'Hitler's oral skills made everyone go wild with excitement" FML

#2508726
300 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37200) - you deserved it (62583)

On 06/01/2009 at 7:12pm - misc - by Cail (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was serving a family at the restaurant where I work. When I went to ask the little girl what she wanted, I was tongue-tied and got "cutie" and "hun" mixed up and ended up asking, "What can I get for you, cuntie?" FML

#1751488
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (78947) - you deserved it (24292)

On 05/08/2009 at 4:53pm - work - by keeks_25 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my aunt informed me that she thinks I'm faking the debilitating disease I've had for the past 13 years. Apparently she thinks I just don't want to go to college or get a job, and that I like living on disability. She also added that my entire extended family agrees with her. FML

#983343
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73562) - you deserved it (5539)

On 04/15/2009 at 1:37am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. The TV was on with the volume low, as we had been too preoccupied to turn it off. All of the sudden, my boyfriend stopped mid-thrust. He was watching the TV. House was on. My boyfriend stopped to watch the differential diagnosis. FML

#887533
293 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65731) - you deserved it (14599)

On 04/09/2009 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)



FML's blog

  • JT's illustrated FML
  • Hello everybody, how's it going? This week we're looking at the delicate art of getting along with your neighbours. If you've ever lived in an apartment building, you'll know that having people live…

Friday 22 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: