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  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 906
  • Number of comments : 20
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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DragonText's page activity

Visits<b>OzzyTheGiant</b> - the 06/20/2016 at 11:58am<b>AlmightyZamorak</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 7:23am<b>mattdwyer</b> - the 07/05/2013 at 12:46am<b>MzZombicidal</b> - the 06/29/2013 at 11:23pm<b>Disobey</b> - the 06/29/2013 at 8:04pm<b>lisamctran</b> - the 06/29/2013 at 11:21am<b>dead_insects</b> - the 06/13/2013 at 12:15pm<b>oceanman</b> - the 06/02/2013 at 5:41pm<b>iammeorami</b> - the 05/07/2013 at 11:47pm<b>SaraNicolexo</b> - the 04/08/2013 at 4:09am<b>meherm</b> - the 04/06/2013 at 8:44am<b>McNikk</b> - the 04/03/2013 at 8:25pm<b>WizardofWaxinAss</b> - the 04/03/2013 at 1:36pm<b>leena24</b> - the 04/03/2013 at 8:06am<b>raea7</b> - the 04/03/2013 at 7:23am<b>iMark</b> - the 04/03/2013 at 7:05am<b>cmayer</b> - the 03/27/2013 at 1:56am<b>SexxyyBitch</b> - the 01/30/2013 at 10:25pm

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DragonText's favorite FMLs

Today, in the middle of sex, my girlfriend yelled, "STUFF ME LIKE A TURKEY!" I couldn't finish. FML

by Anonymous / 04/14/2014 at 4:12pm / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy

Today, my husband thought it would be acceptable to watch Breaking Bad on Netflix with my 4-year-old in the room. What happened to be the only line he picked up? "Well heil Hitler, bitch!" I found out from his preschool teacher. FML

by Anonymous / 09/03/2013 at 12:13am / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids

Today, I asked my boss for a raise, explaining that another shop offered me a job at a higher rate, but I would stay if he would offer me the same. Instead, he fired me then called the other shop and said I was fired for failing a drug test. FML

by nowork / 08/27/2013 at 11:21pm / United States (New York) / Work

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Instead of moaning like any normal person, he just kept saying stuff like "uh-huh," "not too bad," and "yup" in a complete monotone. It was probably the most uncomfortable experience of my life. FML

by awkward / 07/26/2013 at 2:00pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I went to the Giants game. During the seventh inning stretch they showed me on the jumbo-tron. It was just in time for the entire stadium to see me pull a tampon out of my purse. FML

by GiantsFan13 / 07/23/2013 at 10:49am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was stumbling down the street due to arthritic pain, when I accidentally bumped into a man. He turned and yelled, "Watch it, you clumsy, ugly bitch", to which I apologised and told him about my arthritis. He stared at me in confusion, then said, "Well, you're still ugly", and walked off. FML

by Anonymous / 07/16/2013 at 3:10am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, my five-year-old daughter called the police to report her stolen nose. FML

by nosestealer / 07/07/2013 at 5:57pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, at the doctor's, I had lots of papers to fill out so my boyfriend offered to help. We submitted them and the doctor called me a few minutes later. Under disorders my boyfriend had written, "Major cock craving disorder." The doctor couldn't stop giggling. FML

by Never Going Back To The Doctor / 07/04/2013 at 3:03am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was feeding some ducks. One of them choked to death on the old bread. FML

by Anonymous / 06/24/2013 at 12:41pm / Belgium / Animals

Today, I took my cat to the vet. The creepy vet looked me in the eyes and said, "This isn't the only pussy I'll be checking out today." FML

by o_O / 06/23/2013 at 1:26pm / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous

Today, I tried to explain to my cat why I was single, but then I realized why. FML

by CatLover<3 / 06/18/2013 at 7:27pm / United States (Texas) / Animals

Today, I was using a public toilet, when someone in the next stall reached under, grabbed at my low-hanging toilet paper and pulled at it at an insane speed, whispering some kind of weird chant. Then he suddenly stopped, screamed, and ran out. What the hell happened in there? FML

by Anonymous / 06/13/2013 at 12:01pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous

Today, I refused to go down on my boyfriend of 9 months. He then shoved me off the couch and, half crying, yelled that I was the third girl this week to turn him down. After sobbing for a bit, he looked me in the eyes and said, "I need you to do this so I can prove my manhood." FML

by saywhat / 04/09/2013 at 7:05am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, a technician from my ISP came to my house to replace my router. He asked for a glass of water, one thing led to another, and for some reason I'll never fully understand, we ended up having sex. Looks like porn logic is not so far off the mark after all. FML

by je_regrette_tout / 03/09/2013 at 1:50pm / Intimacy