About Dragon5786 : I dont wana die, I dont wana die, so you're gona have to
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Dragon5786's favorite FMLs
Today, we had a surprise party for my boss. Someone turned out all the lights. I was so scared of the dark, the first thing my boss saw when he walked in was all my co-workers watching me scream, "TURN IT ON!" FML
by Anonymous / 03/11/2014 at 11:47am / United States (Georgia) / Work
by Frozen / 03/10/2014 at 10:23am / United States / Work
by ashamed father / 03/09/2014 at 6:32pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
by jacko / 08/15/2010 at 5:47am / Reserved / Work
Today, we went up for visitor's day for my son's Jewish summer camp. We don't keep kosher, but most of his fellow campers do. When we went around in the circle saying our favorite foods, he said, "my mom makes the best pork chops." We got dirty looks for the rest of the day. FML
by porkeater / 07/16/2009 at 11:02am / United States (Illinois) / Kids
Today, I reached into my fridge to grab a strawberry soda. I noticed the can had started to leak from the top so I slurped up the spilt red liquid on the top of the can. I realized it wasn't soda, but blood from a defrosting steak on the shelf above it. FML
by kjmsit / 06/16/2009 at 12:38am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
Today, I decided to surprise-visit my grandparents. After knocking on the door and not getting a response, I opened it and walked in. Upon entering their house and yelling, "Hello", as I turned the corner I saw my near-deaf grandmother folding clothes while watching TV. She was topless. FML
by kha / 03/24/2009 at 6:18am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was talking to my 81-year-old widowed grandmother on the phone, and she told me she was giving up sex for lent. Not only do I now have a vision of my grandma having sex, I am reminded that she is having more sex than me. FML
by unlucky_vee_13 / 02/23/2009 at 5:02pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy
Today, I had a stomach virus, so I didn't eat anything. My new roommate asked me if I was anorexic and to prove I wasn't, I ate a sandwich in front of her... Only to go into the bathroom and throw it up later. She heard and now thinks I'm bulimic. FML
by IEatDammit / 01/29/2009 at 10:26pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
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- Today, I’m in China for work. All my work is stored in my Google Drive, directly via the internet.… Today, I’m in Sweden. This morning, I went out to get the mail in my pajamas. Well, it doesn’t only… Today, under the Northern Lights of the Arctic Circle, I presented my girlfriend with an engagement…