About DrSkillz : Aye I'm pretty chill
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DrSkillz's favorite FMLs
Today, I woke up in my living room after having a party. I then realized my fish tank with many different species was missing from its usual spot. After searching for a few minutes, I finally found it in the freezer. FML
by Anonymous / 05/25/2015 at 12:10pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals
by fired tomoz / 10/29/2014 at 11:46am / South Africa (Gauteng) / Work
Today, let's just say it's not always a good idea to storm into your mum's bedroom after hearing several loud slaps accompanied by yelps. What sounds like domestic violence might just be your mum and step-dad's foreplay. For Christ's sake, I need brain bleach. FML
by Anonymous / 10/25/2014 at 5:31pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Intimacy
Today, I and a coworker got bitched out and suspended by our boss after our computers got infected with a weird porn virus. It soon turned out the virus had come from our boss' infected memory stick. Did he apologize? No. Is our suspension still in force? Yes. FML
by shatfjord / 10/10/2014 at 6:34pm / United States (New York) / Work
Today, my husband and I attended a funeral. After the service, my phone vibrated. It was a text from my husband, saying "I've got mourning wood like you wouldn't believe! get it? MOURNING. haha :D" I looked up and saw him across the room, winking at me. Not the place, honey. FML
by jackie89 / 08/10/2014 at 3:26pm / United Kingdom (Cornwall) / Intimacy
Today, I put on some sexy lingerie, ready to have some fun with my husband. I found him in the living room, opening a bag of doritos in front of the TV. He saw me and understood. Then he looked back at the doritos, then back at me and said gravely, "No way, babe. No way." FML
by Anonymous / 06/27/2014 at 7:50pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy
Today, my dad called me into the bathroom, saying "Get a load of this shit, son" and forcing me to look at the biggest, foulest-smelling turd I have ever seen in my life in the toilet. It's been three hours and I still feel physically ill. FML
by green and not with envy / 06/13/2014 at 4:17pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health
by MiserableMan / 06/10/2014 at 12:02am / Vietnam (Ho Chi Minh) / Love
Today, I found out that my father faked his whole "mid-life crisis", just so he could gain my trust and get me to admit that I smoke weed, and to tell him who I buy it from. Hello year-long grounding. FML
by say no to dick / 04/18/2014 at 6:56pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was at Walmart and had to use the bathroom. I sat down and farted real loud. I didn't realize someone was in there with me until I heard a voice say, "Dude, that was a good one." It was a man's voice. I then realized I was in the men's restroom. FML
by dani / 03/24/2014 at 11:39pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/13/2014 at 10:47am / United States (Missouri) / Kids
Today, in the very middle of the night, my kitten started rubbing against my face. Thinking I saw her face in the darkness, I decided to kiss her before going back to bed. My lips made contact with her butthole. FML
by Anonymous / 02/13/2014 at 10:20am / United States (Nevada) / Animals
Today, I ran out of toilet paper. I yelled from the bathroom for my parents to bring me some toilet paper. My dad slipped one tiny piece of toilet paper under the door and boomed, "THE FINAL TEST." FML
by airhead2015 / 02/12/2014 at 12:57pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous
by sierraleeannee / 02/09/2014 at 1:44am / United States / Kids
by blah! / 12/08/2013 at 8:19am / United States (Connecticut) / Kids
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, I asked a customer to send me via e-mail the image he wanted me to print. He said, "I don't…