Doxy

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Doxy

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 25253
  • Number of comments : 106
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Doxy : Currently living in my fortress of solitude err I mean awkwardness with penguins and Superman.

Doxy's page activity

Visits<b>raven83</b> - the 06/07/2016 at 12:22pm<b>UPTDraco</b> - the 04/11/2016 at 12:12pm<b>Wane8822</b> - the 04/02/2016 at 2:06am<b>junko</b> - the 02/23/2016 at 1:12pm<b>FyeahPoet</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 12:11am<b>jojocircus19</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 5:54am<b>Allornone</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 5:48am<b>dantecarlson</b> - the 08/14/2015 at 7:34pm<b>19Hahaha11</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 10:26pm<b>ekimen</b> - the 05/31/2015 at 4:59am<b>Chilupa</b> - the 01/19/2015 at 11:20am<b>sadisticrose</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 4:10pm<b>Burberryhype</b> - the 12/04/2014 at 12:57am<b>tony1891</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 8:49am<b>tayymeds</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 3:31pm<b>freezingmylife</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 3:46pm<b>_DudeGuy_</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 2:19am<b>xNotCreative</b> - the 05/06/2014 at 6:20pm

Fucked!<b>jojocircus19</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 11:54am

Doxy's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

See all of Doxy's badges

Doxy's favorite FMLs

Today, I downloaded an application that notifies me when my phone is fully charged. I had no idea how it actually functions, but I plugged the charger in and went to bed. A couple of hours later, I woke up to a man's voice screaming, "I can't take it anymore!" I nearly wet myself. FML

by scaredshitless / 03/03/2012 at 8:55am / Finland (Southern Finland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I told my mom about an article I'd seen that said people tend to make the most mistakes at 2 to 3 in the morning. Without a trace of humor in her voice, she said, "Tell me about it. You were conceived round about then." FML

by fmlsomuch / 02/25/2012 at 3:51pm / Japan / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend said I could only take her virginity while I have a flaccid penis, so I won't hurt her. I get hard from just staring at her covered ass. FML

by Anonymous / 02/21/2012 at 2:17pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, I managed to cut myself on a piece of chocolate. FML

by mary / 02/21/2012 at 10:33am / Australia / Health

Today, I went to an extended family reunion. I started chatting to my great grandpa, and he asked me what I do for a living. Before I could tell him I breed animals, my visibly drunk dad interrupted and slurred, "Oh, she jacks things off. Horses, pigs, just about anything, really." FML

by -_- / 02/17/2012 at 7:13pm / United Kingdom (Manchester) / Intimacy

Today, after applying for a job at the local pet store, I picked up a ferret. It began licking my cheek, causing me to turn my head. It then latched onto my ear and hung like a giant furry hoop earring. I screamed, then quietly left the building. FML

by parkertownparadise / 02/16/2012 at 2:43am / United States (North Carolina) / Animals

Today, after applying for a job at the local pet store, I picked up a ferret. It began licking my cheek, causing me to turn my head. It then latched onto my ear and hung like a giant furry hoop earring. I screamed, then quietly left the building. FML

by parkertownparadise / 02/16/2012 at 2:43am / United States (North Carolina) / Animals

Today, my misanthropic malcontent of a son smashed my air freshener and turned my faulty lava lamp on in a twisted act of rebellion. The bottom of the lamp broke and got wax everywhere. My room now smells like cinnamon, with a hint of freshly embalmed corpse. FML

by Username / 02/13/2012 at 4:31pm / India / Kids

Today, even though she can barely deal with raising kids, my 19-year-old sister announced her fourth pregnancy, by a fourth man, of yet another race. Why? Because she wants to "be like Angelina Jolie." I fear that social services may laugh at me if I tell them. FML

by amythest / 02/12/2012 at 7:18pm / United Kingdom (Belfast) / Kids

Today, I had to call AAA for the fifth time in two months. When the driver got out, I instantly recognized him. It was the same guy who helped me out all the previous occasions. When he saw me, he snorted and doubled over laughing. FML

by big steve / 02/11/2012 at 1:35pm / United States (Arizona) / Transportation

Today, my dog attacked me because I had a chicken costume on for a party. I'm currently in a hospital, dressed as a chicken, waiting for medical assistance. FML

by lulu / 02/11/2012 at 5:19am / United States (Ohio) / Animals

Today, I watched "The Vow" with my girlfriend. When the movie ended, we walked out to the theatre's lobby, and I heard her mutter, "I deserve a guy like him." FML

by Anonymous / 02/10/2012 at 8:06pm / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Love

Today, I was taking a dump in a public toilet, when a guy in the next stall started drunkenly rapping. He kept trying to get me to rap along with him, eventually bashing the wall and threatening to bust my face in if I didn't. I soon found out I can rap to Slob On My Knob pretty well. FML

by rapper in training / 02/10/2012 at 8:02pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I sat in my boss' office as he bitched me out for being "too sarcastic" to our customers. After nearly half an hour of him criticizing my "piss-poor attitude," he asked me what I was going to do to fix it. Without thinking, I said, "Your mom." Now I'm jobless again. FML

by great / 02/10/2012 at 4:33pm / United States / Work

Today, I got into a fist-fight with a wasp, aka a Nazi helicopter. Despite swiping at it with ninja-like skills, I lost. FML

by Stung / 02/10/2012 at 9:13am / United Kingdom / Animals