About Doxy : Currently living in my fortress of solitude err I mean awkwardness with penguins and Superman.
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Doxy's favorite FMLs
Today, my wife gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. She's perfect in every way, except for her birth mark. It's under the corner of her left eye and looks almost exactly like a prison teardrop tattoo. FML
by Anonymous / 05/19/2013 at 2:33pm / Canada (Alberta) / Kids
Today, I attended a cooking class with my co-workers. As the chef prepared to cut up a load of onions for his dish, he warned us to be ready for the "typical reactions". Everyone teared up. Meanwhile, I popped a boner. So much for typical. FML
by Anonymous / 05/16/2013 at 4:54pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy
by serialkillingex / 05/07/2013 at 3:45am / Netherlands / Love
by Anonymous / 05/06/2013 at 2:13pm / Ireland (Donegal) / Love
Today, I finished a dance competition. With competitions, it requires you to wear a lot of makeup like false eyelashes and red lipstick. I went into a Starbucks to get a coffee and a boy around 18 asked me, in all seriousness, what my rate is for one night. FML
by dancer, not a hooker... / 05/05/2013 at 1:01am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
by goincrazy / 07/16/2012 at 4:12am / United States (Wisconsin) / Health
Today, I spoke to my hormonal pregnant wife about baby names. I told her I liked the name "Tabitha", and she went into a full rage about how all letters have textures, colours and emotions and how T is an evil letter. Apparently it's orange, plastic, and a needle trying to stab her eyes out. FML
by LNamesOnly / 07/09/2012 at 3:31am / Australia / Kids
by Anonymous / 07/08/2012 at 5:03pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous
by nobrony / 07/02/2012 at 3:53pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by zombieguyswife / 06/28/2012 at 7:44pm / United States (Missouri) / Health
by Anonymous / 06/17/2012 at 12:53am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by thefailwhale / 06/16/2012 at 12:58am / United States (Wisconsin) / Love
Today, my sister, knowing that I'm terrified of his face, taped a picture of Michael Jackson over our toilet. When I entered the washroom, I sprinted back out screaming. Minutes later, while in the shower, I happened to glance up at the ceiling. Guess who was grinning down at me. FML
by ugh / 06/08/2012 at 12:35am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boss became obsessed with a movie about a pimp. He now refers to all my female coworkers as his "bitches" and refuses to treat us like human beings. Whenever we make a mistake, he rolls his eyes and laughs, "So typical of a prostie." FML
by kufan1324 / 06/04/2012 at 11:47pm / United States / Work
by BooBabe / 06/04/2012 at 7:50pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy